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Somethings not right

Posted , 8 users are following.

lisalisa67
lisalisa67

im the everything to everyone. I clean, cook help everyone with their issues do everyone laundry  but no one does it back. I dont think they are even grateful. If i complain i dont feel right it falls on deaf ears. Very hurtful. I have mentioned it, noone cares. They care about themselves. I dont think im seen as a human. Its really mean and rude. How is this? Im moving around with my face tingly and im tired and they are resting or eating and its starting to annoy me. Im only human, they are all adults here.  My husband doesnt say a word, he expects it all and doesnt even care that its all on me.Im like a useful item and only existing to for their needs. I think sometims it burries deep inside me and makes me feel sad. Sometimes i really wonder if this causes me anxiety, very lonely at times to feel so used.

3 likes, 37 replies

37 Replies

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  • Lolasmom
    Lolasmom lisalisa67

    Posted

    Lisa, can I assume these are your children you are talking about?. Really if they are, maybe if they had a week of no clean laundry or dinner not on the table for them, they would realize it is not handed to them. If I am incorrect I M sorry. My daughter and 2 dogs are back at home and there has never once been an issue. My husband knows better too. I sometimes work part time but am at home for most of the time. I would not stand for it.my daughter is so appreciative for what I do do for her and these 2 dogs, she thanks me daily it's amazing what you do not mind doing when there appreciation and gratitude.Hi on strike girl !!!!!!!
    • lisalisa67
      lisalisa67 Lolasmom

      Posted

      Yep grown children. And the hubby but he works hard so hes allowed to relax. I like him not to add to the mix but im not going to start anything up with that.  I have left there stuff as is before they leave it there haha. No care given. Eventually then the love kicks in and one of them will help out. Far and few between. And yes i have a dog too. Whom i fully groom hes a hairy dog. But he is a dog so i exclude him he only knows how to give love. I messed up. It never bothered me before. It has been bothering me lately they are old enough to pitch in not make a big  mess for me or be rude. Too old to not see im a human now. I watch how they treat their dates and friends and im like they obviously know how to be kind and caring. i find it rude.
    • Lolasmom
      Lolasmom lisalisa67

      Posted

      Please really try to back off all the things you do for them. You are to kind. I really hate to see kind loving people taken advantage of. Yes it's hard to just watch the laundry pile up but try. When they are out if clean clothes and panicked that there is no clean clothes,, they will do something about it. You have to be consistent and not break down. Don't be abused. Hugs to you
    • lisalisa67
      lisalisa67 lee12629

      Posted

      that is one of my issues. But i will say its just who i am. And they  I dont want to stop being me i just want to be treated properly too. This stupid eye stuff changed my life. Anxiety is not helping either. Do you know what i mean? Every person knows how to be kind, or show compassion i dont understand why its such a hard thing to do. I know one day in the distant future they will look back and realize what they had but its too bad im sad now at times. Thats sounds worse then i feel but you know what i mean?
    • lee12629
      lee12629 lisalisa67

      Posted

      I dont understand it either. I learned after a relative died that when i was younger i was quite selfish,i should have ben there more. Now that ive wised up so to speak i just want to have them not make that mistake. Appreciate someone now while you still can and be there when they need you. Lesson learned by me the hard way. Empathy and kindness.
  • Guest
    Guest lisalisa67

    Posted

    Have you talked to them about it and do they know how you feel?
    • lisalisa67
      lisalisa67 Guest

      Posted

      I have mentioned it. Im not sure they really know how i feel. If they did it wouldnt happen. They just think ill get over it. i have to remind them i am human too and not just their go to person for everything and anything. Funny isnt it im holding myself together with ailments and anxiety issues by the skin of my teeth and they all lean on me thinking im a rock or something. Life can be so funny.
    • Guest
      Guest lisalisa67

      Posted

      maybe you need to sit them down and be honest with them, right?
    • lee12629
      lee12629 lisalisa67

      Posted

      Lisa,YOU ARE strong for being able to do that. Maybe they see more then you know just how strong you really are. I on the other hand..not so strong.
    • Guest
      Guest lisalisa67

      Posted

      so do you know what you're going to do to try to fix this?
  • amber69885
    amber69885 lisalisa67

    Posted

    First off your deserve better. When my anxiety gets bad and I start having problems with panic attacks I check out of life and my husband steps up and takes over with the kids, the cooking and the cleaning (even if not up to my standards). I know it puts extra stress on him but we both know it's temporary until I get better.

    Second, what would happen if you just stopped. If they are all adults, they're not going to starve and they're not going to walk around in dirty cloths or eat off dirty dishes. The house may get a little messy just keep a clean spot for yoy to relax in messy. Maybe they will get the hint that you need help.

    • lisalisa67
      lisalisa67 amber69885

      Posted

      Very true. I have a thing with getting ansy if laundry piles up. They all know it too. I have had two times (a week or so at each time) i couldn't do it. One i had surgery so it was every man for himself. I was happy they all did everything i couldnt. And the other was due to bad anxiety. So i do know they know how. They did step up. Its the other times and i know i have to talk to them about it. Or if i ask and get a rude response, its hurtful. I spoke with one of them this evening. She doesnt mean to be rude and knows im human (haha). She did say to let her know and she would make a dinner or two if i didnt feel well which was kind. I did explain its not always about not feeling well its just at times its alot and we all have to start helping each other. I know this is on me i take ownership for it. I just never minded before.i guess it just became harder lately. 
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