Sorry but have to talk

Posted , 4 users are following.

I have not been on for a while, it's hard to say how the feel, normally it's easy writing it down but finding it tough. I know I should try to deal with myself and not involve anyone but I have to as I'm scared. Been feeling really bad for at least two weeks now.

Not sure how I will ever get through today, the future scares me as I see pain, and hurt.

I'm on antidepressants, I feel so bad called the doctors and got an appointment for the 17th. I'm scared and don't know where to turn.

Sorry to bother you, this is so someone knows how bad and hard it is at the moment that's all.

1 like, 7 replies

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7 Replies

  • Posted

    If you are as bad as you say you must see a doctor SOON - not wait until 17 Sept! Explain to the surgery that it is urgent.  If all else fails go to an A&E department. 

     

     

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    • Posted

      I am scared, what if they think I'm wasting there time. I really don't know what to do, yes I need to see them but have problems with how I'm feeling to them.
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    • Posted

      Blackhole: You are in such a bad place at the moment. And to make it worse, it's such a lonely place as well. I've been there all too often and you are not alone.

      I've said this to someone else in another forum. My psychiatrist gives me one fundamental rule; "survival first". Right now, you do whatever you must to survive. If that means putting off engagements with friends, taking time off work, saying no to people's demands, giving yourself guilt-free permission to stay in bed, watching utter crap on youtube or TV for distraction, you do it. If you can, try and remember what it feels like NOT to be depressed, (as hard as that is when you are in the thick of it).

      You and I and others on this forum know that depression does end. There IS relief on it's way. It's just so hard because we don't get an "end date" to the pain. Go to the doctor with a flu, and we know we're in for a sh*tty 6 to 10 days. See a surgeon and relief is offered at or around the date of surgery. With the black dog, we don't know when we can beat him back, but IT IS INEVITABLE THAT WE WILL. Try, if you can, to look forward to the time when the demon depression will be gone; where you will feel light again, smile again and have an interest in something, ANYTHTHING again.

      I find music helps- Everybody Hurts by R.E.M and Don't Give Up by Peter Gabriel and Kate Bush.

      A little more unorthodox, is when I am like you are now, I stay up overnight. In close to 80% of cases it provides total relief as the hours tick by. By midnight I am able to speak, by two in the morning the lift-off is extraordinary and by four a.m I am up making coffee, (and, smoking a divine cigarette). I then have a depression free day. The depression does return after the next night of sleep, but for me, it is a wonderful break from the horror. The U.S is finally looking into a drug that will mimic what happens in the brain during sleep deprivation. 

      I don't know how to provide the link for a youtube clip, but if you can, go to youtube and search- The Best Motivation Video 2015 - THE POWER OF THE MIND- (the channel is MOTIVATIONAL VIDEOS). This particular one is about depression, by Tyrese Gibson. It's about 8 minutes long and it helped me when I was downright suicidal.

      And I agree with oldboy, you should see a doctor ASAP. In the meantime, remember, SURVIVAL FIRST.

      I'm thinking of you. You CAN make it through. 

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  • Posted

    I does not matter what they think.  You are what matters.  You are ill; their job is to try and put you right.  
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    • Posted

      Thank you, thinking of moving it forward but it the earliest I got get with my Doctors, the others is hard to open up to, and still struggle with her, thanks will probably move it forward as I am so not in a good place,

      Thank you

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  • Posted

    I all  ways asck the same qastion have family if yes you have to thing about they if not you have to be positive for yourself all the time 
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    • Posted

      I look after my parents, my mum is dying and now needs help with eating and everything. She can't walk, hold her head and speech is difficult. Dad had new knee recently. Trying to be positive to them yes, they don't know as mum would blame herself which I can't allow. I'm positive around them but deep down I'm not coping. Watching someone die in front of you is hard, she is not even old. Which if she was I could make understand. I'm trying I really am but there comes a Time when it gets on top of you.
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