SORRY LADY's , I'M DONE PUSHING MYSELF!

Posted , 9 users are following.

Hello Girls,

Yes, I am done pushing myself into doing things because it's the right thing to do. I have been dealing with this for 14 years and I can't take no more!

I have always put everyone first before myself in my life all my life. And never thought twice about it. That is just me.

And I still put my children first, but as far as going places family functions, weddings, baby showers, husband's Christmas parties etc.

if I don't want to go or feel uncomfortable , I hit a point where if I don't want to go, I do not go!

And I feel all the better for it.

I just tell my husband and my family the truth, tell everyone I'm in a depression. I am not going to hide what is happening to me. It is what it is, It's hard enough I have to deal with it on my own let alone having to worry about what other people think.or hiding what's going on. I tried hiding it for too long. It is very liberating and I am so happy I hit this point. It may sound selfish but I feel so much better. besides I think it's about time I've become a little selfish, as this has never been a trait of mine.

I know all of you might think less of me but I'm sorry after 14 years I'm glad I hitvthis point.I hope none of you have to go through what I have.

My best to you all!

Maggie xo

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  • Posted

    Hello Maggie

    Good for you !!!! Yes I know exactly what you mean and I think this a time when we need to put ourselves first and not worry about what everyone else thinks.

    All the best to you and keep going!!!! 

    Linda xx

     

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  • Posted

    Nothing to apologise for! You can't do EVERYTHING so stop trying. You are right, the guilt soon fades when you realise how liberating it is to say 'no, sorry, can't do that.'
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  • Posted

    I am nowhere near where you are or have been on this journey and I can say good for you. I totally get where you are coming from. I too am the same way. Always looking out and doing for other people and neglecting myself. Not anymore, I am just can't do it. Now when I'm feeling horrible, weird, not like myself, I stay home. I do things when I feel up to it and I don't owe anyone explanations. I'm not hiding anything, if I don't feel good, I just don't feel good that's it and that's all. So kudos to you!! Do whatever you need to do to take care of you...
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    • Posted

      Yeah I agree! Who is there to help us when we fall apart? People get used to us always being there for them and the time we stop to take a rest for ourselves , they act like we've committed a crime!
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  • Posted

    Go you smile Am done 'doing the right thing' (by who's rules?). I have physical disabilities and menopause just tops it off! I have a great marriage, no kids (but ome demanding step-kids and step-grandkids), happy to help when I can but hey, when  can't... that's life. I work 3 days a week (sometimes even that's a killer), have lost my independence (can't drive anymore, can barely walk to cab) so yes, it's me time people smile
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  • Posted

    I think we all reach this point at some time. I'm not fully there yet because I still have small children although there are times when I have to try and keep them occupied with an activity so that I can take time to myself. If that can be considered selfish then I guess I indulge in it too every now and again when I absolutely have to. I feel robbed though because I wanted to married and have children for as long as I could remember and I didn't meet someone until I was well into my 30's and had my first child at 35 and my youngest at 39. I went straight from postpartum into peri-menopause. I can't really enjoy my husband and kids the way I had always dreamed. Peri is ruining this time in my life.
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    • Posted

      It's time to take care of ourselves ladies for once. I know we may feel a failure but if you think we are far from it. We brought our kids into this life,we've raised them,we've worked etc. If we feel miserable and don't want to go places that are planned or expected of us we need to get it off our chest and tell our loved ones. If we are in a good relationship I'm sure our other half will accept it,just for a short time of our lives x
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    • Posted

      Hello my dear,

      I also have had my children later rather than earlier. I had my first at 39 and my second child on my 41st birthday!

      Afterwards I went right into peri !

      I am now 53. My children are 12 and 14.

      I still need to push for them, but I don't for anyone else.

      I don't know, maybe it's just been too long and It's been a very difficult 13 years. I just got on HRT. It has really helped me.

      Most importantly, Thanks be to God!

      One day at a time ladies!

      Hugs,

      Maggie xo

      Thanks to God I'm getting through

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    • Posted

      Hi,

      I have my children late as well, at 39 and at 40 and I haven't realised that I went straight into peri. They are now 6 and 7 and after my younger one was born I just turned into this different person. it took me about 2 years to recover from having my daughter. The only way I can describe it was that me body was out of sync, out of balance and I didn't know why and the doctors were looking at me like I was making things up.... It's hard to put ourselves first especially with young children and my son has ASD, so it's tough sometimes but it's important to find ways of being kind to ourselves. I do feel going through peri makes my experience of parenthood so much different to what It could be and I feel sorry for my kids not knowing the person I used to be with lots of energy, much more happier and upbeat.... I hate peri!

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    • Posted

      Wow! This post sounds identical to my experience. I feel the exact same way. After I had my daughter at 39 my body went crazy. It has not sorted itself out yet. I feel like you, I feel so bad for my kids because I used to be happier and more up beat. I wish I had them earlier all the time so they would have the benefit of the real me. I remember when my mom went through it. She had me and my siblings late too. She was 42 when I was born. She said her periods stopped not long after she had me. By the time I was ten or so I remember her being mean and angry all the time and short tempered. I hope my kids don't remember this side of me by the time I get through this. They are 7 and 3. I can only hope, right?
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    • Posted

      I think the good thing is that we are aware of what is going on, so we can make an effort at times we feel ok. My patience is often non existent but I try to catch myself when I get irritated and short tempered. So we do have some really good times too. I remember my mum not being well and complaining of aches and pains and now I think this must have been peri for her but then I thought it just wasn't fun at all. Iwish I had my kids earlier too but I haven't met my husband till I was 36 and until then I was too busy with my life and carrier.
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