Spoiling my life with worry

Posted , 12 users are following.

HI I am 55 with a 16 year old son who is taking GCSE's this year. I am worried about everything from my health to him dying to me dying before I see him grow up. I am crying as I type this as I so scared. I have had health problems on and off and have now convinced myself I have oesophogeul cancer as I have chest pains and trouble swallowing some foods, GP said it was GERD then a chest infection, but after finishing antibiotics still feel no better. I do suffer from GERD and it could be, but I am so sure I am going to die soon as it cannot be cured. My husband and son are getting so sick or me googling everything, Son said at weekend I have not wasted 1 minute of my life worrying about dying you have wasted thousands. I know he is right, I know I have to stop googling but I am so scared of dying before he grows up properly that it is making life unbearable. I will be telling GP all this later, but am not depressed just anxious. I know I sound pathetic but I am so sad about all this.

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  • Posted

    Aww bless u ive been the same since my dad died suddenly in december. I google every symptom i get at the moment my thing is a blood clot in my leg!! I just cannot shake this 1 off atall. I have 4 little girls and am terrorfied of dying and leaving them or one of them dying. My partner and family are getting sick of me now its starting to cause problems in my relationship im that bad. I dont have much advice apart from DO NOT GOOGLE.! Google is the devils work !! What ever u type in it will ALWAYS show the most serious condition. You sound so much like me it could have been written from me!! If u ever want to talk message me i will talk and try my best to help xx
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  • Posted

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  • Posted

    Hi I have just read your message and I am going through the same gerd on and of on omeprosol for four years on and off. This time it has taken a lot out of me because I am so worried and anxious. My stress level is sky high. I am 53 in April and I have a 12 year old daughter. Yesterday she took my phone and hide it just to stop me googleing because she thinks it's making me worst. My 3\27 year old is so sick of me googleing every minute of the day. Have you done the endoscopy yet. I am going for mine this week.I pray that all will be well I'm Jesus name. Let me know how you get on.
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    • Posted

      Hi Marie, went to see GP again yesterday on an emergency appointment as pain so bad, she said to go back to 40mg of esomeprazole 20mg in morning 20mg at night, I explained about trouble swallowing, pain in chest, tests already done etc and she said it was highly unlikely that I would have oesophageul cancer as I am not being sick etc and that as I have had an endoscopy in the last 10 years nothing would grow that quick??? She is a GP so I should accept that but I am finding it really hard to. To my mind once you are being sick it has gone too far and surely 1 endoscopy every 10 years is not enough. She did say that something was clearly going on and has made a proper appointment to go through notes etc and I may be referred to gastrologist to have more tests. She did ask whether I had ever had a pylori test which I do not think I have had and would mean coming of esomeprazole for a while, which is not happening, I have had this problem all my life and was diagnosed with IBS at about 12, I am now 55. I do feel more positive today, will not google (I hope I can stick to this) and do feel less pain from the extra 20mg, but my mind then races and say's what are these tablets masking. I will just have to be positive until my appointment next week and then be firm when I get there. I did say that I could be dead in a week waiting for this appointment to which she replied nothing would happen for 2 weeks even if she did send me for an endoscopy, here I go again worrying that things will progress. Aaaaaahhh the mind is a destructive thing Good luck on your test. One last thing are you menopausal because I never felt any of this anxiety stuff before about 50 and am wondering whether it is all connected someone.
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    • Posted

      Oh youngeratheart you are thinking like I am I had a hysterectomy last June and I think. That must have also brought up my menopause. I have been anxious before but this time I feel so terrible. The Gp said you had an endoscopy ten years ago but she should still send you for one mine was two years ago. I know your mine is playing tricks on you just like mine is but ask her to send you for one just to give you peace of mind. Keep praying and holding to your husband and son I have only got the children cause husband passed away. Let us not Google today. Thanks for your reply and keep me posted.
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    • Posted

      Hi Marie sorry you are going through this alone. Yes I do think the GP statement that having a scope within 10 years means I am ok is being a bit too confident, I just hope to god she is right and I will be asking for one next week. Back to pains in chest again and the lump in throat feeling, but as I am eating and being sick I have to try not to worry. Life sucks when you want answers and have to wait, but not googled so far which for me is good. Keep me posted about the test and good luck.
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    • Posted

      Hi youngatheart1 just wantedvto say I have the same problem with the throat in 3013 and thats when I did the endoscopy what happen was the gas was irritating the esophagus and it got inflamed. What I was told to do was to gaggle hot water not very hot. And salt. And also to try manuka honey with water. I hope this helps.Marie.
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    • Posted

      Hi Marie have you had the endoscopy done yet? I hope you are well, I have not googled at all so far this week, I look at these forums because the people seem so genuine unlike mumsnet and places like that where people can be cruel. I have tried to be less anxious still got lump in throat feeling and waiting to see GP next Wednesday. Just wish this pain would go away it does when I burp which is a bit of releif. Just trying to be positive. Have a good day.
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  • Posted

    Oh dear i just typed a reaaaaaaaalllly long reply and my ipad destroyed it
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  • Posted

    I got over anxiety by getting fit,keeping myself busy,and giving my computer away. My daughter was only a toddler at the time,so the loss of the computer didn't really affect the family,it would be different now tho,I'd be lynched if I got shut of the internet,so I can understand if turning off the net may not be a option for you. If you really can't be trusted with google,then your computer should be password protected so only your husband and son can use it. I've been virtually anxiety free for 9 years,I'd probably still be suffering now if I hadn't taken a break from the internet.
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    • Posted

      Good to hear you are coping, today I am going to try to be more positive, keep away from Mr Google and have already starting eating a lot more fresh fruit, salad and good honest food over the last week and already feel better. Just not panicking is making my palpitations easier. I am 55 so can remember life before iphones, ipads and the internet and I honestly feel in some instances life was better as you relied on the GP and not a computer telling you every symptom could be a sign of doom. Have a good day.
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  • Posted

    hooo worry to hear about you, my praries are really with you i hope your problem will be solved soon and your son will be grow up.
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    • Posted

      Thanks for your lovel reply, yes I too hope to be around for many years and see him grow up and I have now started to try to panic less and enjoy each day. I will talk to the GP next week and have stopped googling every symptom as it makes you paranoid.
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  • Posted

    IT IS APPOINTED UNTO TO MAN ONCE TO DIE. THE BIBLE SAYS, OUR DAYS ARE NUMBERED. YOU WILL NOT DIE ONE SECOND SOONER THAN THE APPOINTED DAY THAT ONLY THE LORD KNOWS. NOTHING CAN STOP THIS NOTHING REST IN THIS. LET YOUR HEART NOT BE WEARY FOR GOD CARES FOR YOU. THE BIBLE ALSO SAYS, HE WHO KEEPS HIS EYES ON THE LORD SHALL HAVE PERFECT PEACE. WE CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST THAT GIVES US STRENGTH...GOD BLESS YOU

     

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