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im starting to panic about next week, I have an appointment on Tuesday at the hospice, with treatment for relaxation, the on Thursday I see my counsellor, the first time. I have loads of meetings at work, which I have to run. I'm not good in front of people. It's a really busy week, but getting nervous already. Everyone says it's going to be hard to see the councillor and it could be worse, even my boss said that it would be draining. It's going to be hard trying to figure everything out which is in my head. There stuff that I never talk about, I'm scared she'll ask questions that is hard to say. I know I need this, my life is being effected, at work and home. Not as much at home as I could tell them, can't burden them with this. Also people say they may say about telling mum and dad. I can't do that to them. I HATE myself, I feel really needy at the moment, and it makes me angry and scared! Will people say they have had enough and go, I know people are busy and my head says if they don't reply they don't care and running away as they think I'm needy, which I am. But I need to get stuff out of my head.
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