Starting freak out about next week

I know this is hard to do from an inside point of view but try to look at the positives! From an outsiders perspective I can see some pretty great positives in the week ahead. You're clearly being brave enough to make the first steps going to see a councillor and having relaxation therapy, you should be really proud of that! The relaxation session will be relaxing whether you like it or not, that's the point I bet you'll feel better by the end of it and better equipped for the rest of the week. Your health is more important than the work meetings so just try not to worry about them too much, your health is more important.

The councillor will not be trying to catch you out and can't make you answer any questions you're not ready to answer. You are likely to get more out of the sessions if you open up but it doesn't have to be in the first session, just whenever you're ready. I bet you'll feel more positive afterwards, I certainly have!

If you are still dreading the week ahead try to fit in some time for yourself to do something nice, go for a walk or something to give yourself a treat to look forward to. You deserve it - keeping yourself happy is an important part of looking after the people around you, (like the instructions on planes where they tell you to get your oxygen mask first before helping others).

I think it would be great if you could open up to friends and family eventually, I imagine your councilor could help you feel less like you are letting them down and less embarrassed about feeling the way you do, it's not anything to be ashamed of! I wouldn't be surprised if you find some family members who will then tell you they felt the same at some point, a lot of people are just too proud to admit but if we talked more we'd find it's less of a big deal! But again, that doesn't have to be next week, you've made so much progress by going for the therapy. Be proud and stay positive

Upcoming appointments & things you need to do can really play on your mind when suffering with anxiety, & sounds like you have a bit to cope with..but if you can try taking one situation at a time & put the others aside for another time, dealing with the one at a time may help.

Your counciler will know your feeling anxious, & have stratagys to help you talk through what it is thats got you feeling this way, if needs be, let your counciler do the talking untill you can open up, you may find once you start to explane things you wont be able to stop,! ( wich is VERY cathartic )

Take care.

When my wife had her first appointment with a councillor the week leading up to it her anxiety went through the roof. She was so anxious and worried about meeting someone new and how she would react. She never slept much the night before either. Anxiety before stuff is normal but its very hightened for people suffering with depression and anxiety. Anyway, I walked her to the first appointment and onec she met the councillor she was fine. The lady was great with her. A good councillor will not push you or make you say or do anything you dont want to and everything will be at a pace thats right for you, only you. Good luck and remember to sometimes just sit a breath.