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State of Mind

Posted , 3 users are following.

deaver
deaver

So, the last time I posted on here I was feeling quite upbeat and positive, taking life one day at a time.  Well, now I'm still trying to be positive, only I find myself in that unsure state of mind.  You know the one, the tiniest of pushes and you know you will spiral back to rock bottom.  I am fighting it, believe me I am, but can you avoid what feels like destiny?  Over 20 years of up and down (more down than up), how many more to come?  I thank God that I have an understanding wife and family but can I really put off what feels like the inevitable?

Please let me know what works for you, or if there are any tips you might have in stopping that decline.

I really do appreciate your time and thoughts.

Thanks

2 likes, 6 replies

6 Replies

  • celtics
    celtics deaver

    Posted

    deaver weve both got something in common we both suffer from depression and were getting there one day at a time also weve got tge most important thing is a strong partner who is there for when we need to talk ! have you thought about trying cbt it might sleep !
    • deaver
      deaver celtics

      Posted

      Thanks celtics. I do have medication to help me sleep but unfortunately the job I do means I can only take it at certain times and not regularily.
  • Nessie91
    Nessie91 deaver

    Posted

    Hi

    you have something that I don't have and that money can't buy - someone who lives with you and cares for you.  I live alone, have no money worries, live in a lovely flat and come back to an empty house.  Until I was ill with agitatd clinical depression and muscle weakness in my legs, I went several exotic holidays a year and people said how lucky I was.   At the time, Ithought so, but since being ill and in hospital, that's all a shell.  Yes, I have good friends, but they have their own lives to lead and I don't have a constant presence in the house.  You have no idea how lucky you are to have your wife.  I'm not in any way trying to minimise what you're going through, but you have someone to talk to, who wants to help you, so let her know how you're feeling and don't always try to put on a "brave face".  Don't shut her out.  I have beautiful Japanese and Chinese pictures in the living room, but I'd swap that any day for someone to be in the same room as me, talking or watching TV in the evening and weekends.

    • deaver
      deaver Nessie91

      Posted

      Thanks for your reply Nessie.  You are both right and wrong in some ways.  I do know how lucky I am to have my wife, but life is never as straight forward as we want. I cannot discuss everything with her as she has enough on her plate and I am "her rock".  My depression has always been there since before we met, she however, has suffered a life changing situation recently, courtesy of a botched operation and has lost so much.  Consequently she is now also suffering with depression.  I will not off load my thoughts or feelings on her, in fact I have never found it easy to speak to anyone about my true feelings or thoughts.  Her depression seems easier to deal with (for me) as I know what it stems from. 

      Enough about me.

      Do you have any family members that you could have live with you (provided you'd want that)?  Or maybe a close friend that is in a similar situation?

      I hated living on my own, though I found socializing just as hard, so I know what you mean.  I truely hope you find an answer, and message me anytime if you just want someone to chat with, I really wouldn't mind.

      Take care

  • Nessie91
    Nessie91 deaver

    Posted

    Hi deaver

    thanks for the reply.  I am lucky I have good friends but no one to live with me.  I try to keep busy but t'a the mornings that are th worsted, especially when I waken up in the dark and when I get up when the anxiety and palpitations start.  I try to think of others worse off than myself but that doesn't always work.

    i quite understand now that you can't offload it on to your wife.  What about a local community referral psychiatric team.  In glasgow, you can do a self referral and that gives you someone with the time to listen.

    best wishes

    Nessie

  • kathy1566
    kathy1566 deaver

    Posted

    Hi Deaver

    Please seek help.  I have an understanding husband and brilliant friends but the only one that could help me - was me.  Depression is awful because it pulls you toward it. You feel noone understands or can relate to how you are feeling.  A neutral 3rd party as you are already on medication - might be the next step?  Talking always helps especially if that person doesnt know you or your history. I understand really I do - but help is out there. 

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