Stick to a promise?

Posted , 5 users are following.

When my GF and I started dating she was very forward that she has anxiety and pushes people away when stress builds. When we confessed our love she said she was afraid it would just go away and we promised to work through the pushing away and I would support her and not abandon her. Well it happened. Two weeks ago she suddlenly doesn't love me. She says she feels next to nothing and just blunted. I say I'm here and want to try and for her to keep trying. She asks me why. I remind her of all we said about working through. That this situation is exactly what she said would happen and that she wanted to beat it. It has been two weeks, and she is incredibly convincing that she doesn't want my affection and says she feels sorry for me that I care about her. I tell her we talked about this and she said this exact thing would happen and that then she wanted us to get through and not give up. Now she says she remembers saying it but doesn't feel that way now....I don't know what to do. I am trying, she hasn't got therapy yet but is trying to be scheduled. She wants to talk and be friends but act like we are nothing more/we're anything more and like what she said about what would happen and to fight for her when it did didn't happen.

What can I do? What should I do?

0 likes, 27 replies

Report / Delete

27 Replies

  • Posted

    Give her some space is what I'd do. But that's me.

    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Be her friend for a while
    Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      How am I to be a good friend? When I want something more? When even 2 days prior I was everything she wanted. It is hard to act like nothing was.
      Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Is there someone there for you like you are for her?


    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Ignore her is what you need to do as much as possible, no eye contact at work or functions unless of course you have to work on something with her then just be professinal like she is just another colleague. I was dumped in my young years so many times I know all the tricks in the book. She will come back to you I promise, she needs you and doesn't realise it yet but will. Good Luck.

    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    I'm not saying this is the right or wrong thing to do cos u gotta weigh up the options.

    Option 1 sounds brutal and I know u love her but she needs to conquer this anxiety and I think she needs space to do this. Therapy will just be the beginning. It could be a long road to her recovery and by the time she has made enough progress, she may still turn round and say I don't want u.

    I think you need to let her go but not be friends either because she really can't have it her way if you say u love her and she doesn't. I guess that is a sacrifice she has to make.

    Maybe some space will help her decide.

    From personal experience I have let relationships go because of similar situation and I really don't know what or who I want.

    Option 2. You continue to convince her and remind her to fight for you because she remembers saying that this would happen and that you should fight for her.

    The outcome in both is uncertain. Maybe she doesn't know her true self yet.

    Also u gotta think about you. Can u afford to continue loving her if at the end of a few years she decides ur not the one and then uve wasted a lot of time on her.

    Again I'm not saying one or the other is right these are just possible scenarios.

    But at least u are giving it a go and fighting so if it doesn't turn out u can be proud of that.

    Let me know how things pan out if you want.


    Report / Delete Reply

Join this discussion or start a new one?

New discussion Reply

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the forums to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the forums are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the forums is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.

newnav-down newnav-up