Posted , 3 users are following.
About 15 days ago i posted this
"I am from Pakistan and in our society we live together so every member has to contribute and if some one is not doing that then he useless. I am a university student and i am doing BBA. My history is that i am not good with studies, by the start of this year i should have completed my BBA but i didnt, when I started this i wasnt sure whether i am capable of doing this or not I just wanted a degree in my hand, i think iam a usless person, i had two elder brothers and they are well educated and well settled in thier life one is married and other one will bhi married in this december when i see them i think i am the most worst person in the world, although i have a love of my life I love her so much i want to marry her but iam not that educated and setteled. Sometimes i think i should be dead that some one will kill me one day and all of that will end with my self i had imaginations that i want to commit suicide and if i do that all the problems that i am in will end and my family will be in a better place than right now. I dont know what yo do with myself. I have friends in my life but i am too scared to tell this to anyone my family members, my friends and even i scared to tell her i think she will be scared and she will leave me for sure and thats the wrong way that i dont want to go. I need some one in my life that he or she will keep this secret to his or herself and help me on these kind of things thats why i didnt tell my name. I have low confidence i think when i speak i speak stupidly I am not good with studies i love sport like cricket, i wanted to be in a national cricket team but for family reasons i had to forget about that because its to risky and now i cant even take the chance beacuse i am 25 and also a smoker. Only one thing that i think i can be good at it that is cricket. I really need someone i might commit suicide one day and i dont want to hurt my mother and my girl with that kind of bad news please some one help me."
I am still helpless and hopless, I am searching google how to commit suicide, some great people tried to help me and also i tried my best, I start going to gym, trying to think out of the box, helping others like of someone is in a needy situation i tried to help them that somehow they dont feel like how I am feeling, i have started doing some card tricks when I am alone to get all these thing out of my mind but some where in my mind i have these thoughts that i am burden on my family, these kinds of thoughts making me to think negative when i am trying to stay positive, some of the people who helped me said that you shoulf start training some kids to how to play cricket I also tried that but I have noticed that I am kinda alone guy i want to be in my room just stairng at celling and i know its totally worthless and after wasting my hours on that the last thing that came in my head that you should commit suicide, can someone tell me that how should I get rid of these thought give me some advice to socailize with people, i need to come out of my shell. I have created one abd that shell keeping me to think negative. My smoking habbit is making these things worst in a day i smoked 2 packets of cigarettes. Is there any one who can tell me that how i resist these kind of things.
And if you find any mistakes in the language than I am so sorry. Its the effect of not being socail.
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