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Still struggling with hsv1 diagnosis

Posted , 4 users are following.

mary72923
mary72923

I was diagnosed last year Aug. My partner split up with me after the diagnosis (not because of it more because I questioned him if he had been cheating which he said he hadn't he's the only person I've been with for 10yrs) and I am just so depressed. Not so much that he left which is devastating but that I have this diagnosis. I just feel so unloveable who is going to want me with this problem. I am taking antivirals daily because I had a few back to back outbreaks and the thought of meeting someone and having to tell someone else I have it terrifys me I feel so disgusting. I am so scared about the stigma the judgement I'm still only young 32 but I don't ever want to be with someone again I would hate to pass this on. Sex will never truly be the same will never be able to just be in the moment or caught up will always have to be protected (of course no issue just in a committed relationship the thought of protected sex forever is just miserable) I just don't have anyone to talk to I can't tell anyone irl and now I'm rambling im just so down I wish I could just end it all.

0 likes, 9 replies

9 Replies

  • HannaB2
    HannaB2 mary72923

    Posted

    I'm so sorry your're feeling this way. I went through something similar- well, am actually. were you diagnosed with genital hsv1? ive read outbreaks are so much less common, but im sure everyone is different. i have had issues for a month or so, gyno said hsv without even doing a proper exam. never swabbed. blood was positive for hsv1 but not 2. but still unsure if whatever i have going on is hsv2, because it isnt going away, despite being on antivirals. its so hard, and such a lonely feeling. feel free to message me anytime girl, well get through this together!

    • mary72923
      mary72923 HannaB2

      Posted

      It's genital hsv1. I am just so depressed I honestly don't even know how I got it. I just want to disappear. I am taking the meds daily as its affecting my mental health I'm just feeling like crap for want of a better word. When was you diagnosed? Is it recently?

    • HannaB2
      HannaB2 mary72923

      Posted

      i was diagnosed about a month ago. but i am still not 100% sure thats what was wrong. Gyno never did an exam, just took one look and said thats what it was. never had lesions or bumps, it was just a super bad rash from front to back, swollen labia, and the rash was wet, like it looked like it was sweating, if that makes sense. i do have hsv1 but i also get cold sores. what i have down there is nothing like a cold sore. and antivirals didnt help me at all. i go back for another blood test in three weeks. even if its negative for hsv2, ive done insane amounts of research this past month, and now i know hsv1 can be genital too. it sucks, and its been a month, and have had gyno tell me its hsv, while 3 othet doctors have told me no way its hsv. but after finally trying monistat cream and desitin, i am alowly starting to get back to normal.

  • cf94251
    cf94251 mary72923

    Edited

    hi, i was diagnosed with genital hsv1 a couple months ago as well. its awful, i wouldnt wish this on my worst enemy... it's the emotional turmoil that comes with the diagnosis that is the worst of all. i can't imagine disclosing this to a guy and him willingly wanting to risk himself to be with me. if it makes you feel any better, i've done quite a bit of research and hsv1 is much less likely to transmit to a partner than hsv2 because it prefers the mouth. most cases of hsv1 are spread oral to genital, not genital to genital. hsv1 also has a lower rate of asymptomatic shedding -- which is even lower if you decide to take antivirals. these are all things you can mention to a future partner. just think about it this way... this is nothing more than a cold sore in the wrong spot and people who get cold sores don't even feel obligated to disclose at all. wishing you the best!

    • mary72923
      mary72923 cf94251

      Posted

      Thank you so much for your reply. I'm still trying to educate myself but even that is affecting me mentally as I have to continually remind myself I have it. I have been given the daily antiviral valtrex. I don't know how long I can take it for I don't know if its something I can take forever. My ex didn't get coldsores and tmi but I never let him give me oral was never my thing so I just don't understand why it's happened.

    • cf94251
      cf94251 mary72923

      Posted

      it is very possible to carry the herpes virus and never experience symptoms at all. your ex could've been a carrier of the virus without even knowing it. daily antivirals may not be something you have to take if you don't want to, as the rate of recurrent hsv1 is usually very low -- only about 1 outbreak per year. many people never even have another outbreak of hsv1 after their initial one. i know its hard to read about, i can relate to you for sure. but its honestly on my mind 24/7 anyways so i might as well educate myself on it. someone commented on one of my recent posts and said he and his girlfriend have been together for over 2 years with a very active sex life and she has yet to contract the virus from him because the rate of genital hsv1 viral shedding is so low.

  • lisa0213
    lisa0213 mary72923

    Edited

    I was diagnosed approx 25 years ago, approx your age.. I was absolutely devastated and become very depressed. I told no-one!!!!! I have now been in a relationship/married for 20 years. It takes a lot of self healing and self respect. I become very choosy with whom I had a sexual relationship with, not that I wasn't before or had many partners prior.. I also found the men were respectful that I told them and we were all very cautious. I am extremely cautious with my husband.. even if I nic myself while shaving I won't have sex with him until it has completely healed. and as far as I know, he has never contracted it from me and we no longer use condoms. .I understand completely how you are feeling.. but it will get easier for you to deal with and be able to discuss. Not sure if we are able to chat personally but I am here for you.

    • cf94251
      cf94251 lisa0213

      Posted

      hi lisa, do you take daily antivirals? also, how frequently do you have outbreaks? if you don't mind me asking

    • lisa0213
      lisa0213 cf94251

      Posted

      I do not take any meds for it.. I did when I was first diagnosed. I may get one a year, maybe 2 if I get very stressed.

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