Struggle with depression and alcohol

Posted , 6 users are following.

Hi I’m a new member, I’m a husband and father of three young kids. I’ve recently started treatment for depression after realising I was suffering from persistent low moods and the occasional panic attack. 

I’ve been really struggling with my mood particularly over the Christmas break. I’ve never had a healthy relationship with alcohol. Have been a binge drinker for my entire adult life but have only just made the connection between this and my depression which I’ve also probably had my entire adult life. 

Anyway I’ve been on a few horrific binges and done some shameful things which in turn feeds my depression and so now I feel completely destroyed inside. 

I’ve signed up for counselling with my local authority and I have an emergency GP appointment later today! Another problem I have though is that when I get my head together to do stuff, I feel like a fraud and that I should just deal with it. I’m finding it really hard work confronting it rather than living with it.

Sorry for the ramble I just wanted to write this stuff down!

Cheers

2 likes, 7 replies

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7 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi Roger, well done you for re igniting you have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol and that you are prepared to do something about it, as you already know alcohol abuse is strongly related to mental health problems especially depression, I do hope your GP will recognise all this and provide all the support you need, you will start to feel a lot better over the coming months. 

    Neil 

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  • Posted

    Hi Roger,

    you arent rambling, we all need someone to talk to.  People on here understand.  It’s good you are getting help, do you have to wait long for counselling?  Christmas is hard this year, I can honestly say it’s been my crappest one in my .... 2years of my life.   I think the depression zaps us of energy and there’s none left for the stress and upheaval of Christmas.  It being shoved down our necks since summer doesn’t help either.  I’m chuffed it’s all over and I don’t care I’m bah humbug lol,  keep chatting x

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  • Posted

    Roger

    You will need to pick yourself up and move on. Do you know why your binge drink, I like a Scotch Treat about twice a week, although if I thought I was unable to control my drinking I would stop

    Explain your problems today with your GP and move on

    BOB

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  • Posted

    Hello Roger. So glad that you wrote to us this day. Depression and alcoholism are serious illnesses and are very painful. Sometime without awareness people try to treat the depression with the alcohol but it only deepens the depression and there goes the squirrel cage. 

    I am very happy to see you are seeing your GP and seeking counseling. Have you thought about AA? Would you consider it? They have the highest success rate plus it's a great support system. 

    You have us here so keep us posted. We care very much! Diane. 

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  • Posted

    Thanks for the support. Reading your replies means a lot to me. I actually abstained from alcohol for the whole of 2016 and felt fantastic for it. I don’t have a dependency issue per se. My problem with drink is that when I get low or agitated however subconsciously it may be I will go on an almighty bender and become a really horrible person. 

    It’s not an excuse, I managed to hide this in my 20’s as part of the lad culture but it doesn’t really wash in my 30’s with a house full of kids. 

    I don’t know how long the wait for counselling is, I work in the emergency services though and my organisation has a mental health provision for front line staff. I plan on exploring all avenues open to me to beat this.

    I can’t have another day like yesterday where if it wasn’t for me having to look after the kids I’d have probably done something a bit final just to switch my head off. I’m back from that low point but I’m extremely concerned that my fleeting thoughts of how my being gone would affect my family turned however briefly into actually planning something. Once again i’m not currently having suicidal thoughts but I was yesterday. 

    I’m really hoping I’ve been so awful because of the change up in my medication, I honestly feel worse now than when I went in to see my Dr a few months ago and started this whole process! 

    Stay strong everyone! 

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    • Posted

      Hi Roger,

      you sound a bit better.  I would think surely if you work in that sector there would be help advailable for you.  I do understand your episodes, it sounds like there is a trigger for you and you need something to relieve it with.  Mine is coffee but has to be a well known shop if I sit in and have a coffee it’s like my muscles fill with strength and my mind eases so I do understand where you are coming from.  I wonder if you can identify a trigger at all?  It’s something a councillor would explore with you.  Are you on medication at all?  My trigger is other people and thoughtlessness, selfishness and comments by people.  So I guess I go in C...a to leave all this behind, keep chatting x 

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  • Posted

    Sorry Roger, I sound like I am going on about myself, don’t mean to just trying to let you know we understand how you feel, hard typing over a keyboard as it’s different to listening and responding in person.  BTW I’ve took decs down that’ll make you smile, 
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