Struggling badly at this moment

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Hi i am struggling big style this wk. I have been this past month but after a big night out last Saturday i have been worse since i spoke to this guy that seems i have feared over the years. To cut a long story short. 25 yrs ago a guy that i no hit this guy i was 17.. didn’t see it it went to court. I said to older mates to impress i will be a witness. Court day i didn’t do it or want to do it in the end. The 2 guys had a drink in the pub after it got chucked out of court  was in pub also.. yrs later i always thought he would recognise me so to speak. He did get that guy back (my older mate back for what he did) about 6 yrs ago was out drinking i,ve always sort of said hello to this guy, but then he said us the group of us seem to give him the cold shoulder so to speak. I reacted by sayin that’s in the past forgot about it. Then my anxiety started for him i started fearing him from then on. Obsessing over it. Over the years seen him loads he’s a big guy very intimidating. But no hassle. Saturday just gone he appears in pub late at night he was talking to my other mate .., drunk. My anxiety was going up was getting paranoid more and more. So i asked him outside politely to ask him if he’s ok with me. I thought it was a good idea at the time. He did say he didn’t but could tell he was shocked i asked him that. I forced a handshake and bought him a pint. Left the pub felt good. Next day i felt like crap in why did i do that. Monday onwards i have really bad anxiety depression obsessing constantly thinking. Next time i see him something will happen next time in pub or something. As you can tell it’s really bothering me. I have been a worrier for over 30yrs. Ocd thinking’s of the worst that’s going to happen mainly. 

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  • Posted

    Hello friend,

    I completely relate to what you did.

    As an anxiety sufferer you were anxious and your mind wanted closure on whether the guy who probably didn't even recognise you still had a beef with you.

    My mind also always tries to look for yes/no, right/wrong, good/bad answers to get anywhere close to closing an issue, hating the grey uncertain areas inbetween.

    The original court incident has attached itself to your subconscious mind then been rekindled when you saw the guy at which point it sounds like your fight or flight instinct kicked in and you chose to attempt to address the issue.

    Try not to worry about seeing him again, if it happens just say hi if you have to or try to avoid him.

    His life will most probably have moved on years ago from the incident 6 years ago and he will not put anywhere near the emphasis on it that you do.

    Peace 🙏

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