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Last week my GP diagnosed me with Reactive Depression, and not for the first time. Due to the situation at the time I couldn't go on any meds until I'd been checked by the hospital. Saw and spoke to a Mental Health Nurse which helped but we didn't take anything forward but just talked about my options, none of which are really right for me (crisis phone line, counselling, etc).
I've always had a really good support network (partner, my mum and a friend). Several years ago I had to drop my friend as my partner was jealous of him but I've been fine with just the two. Then two months ago I lost my mum so was down to just my partner. Then out of the blue last weekend he wants to split up after 11 years (he wants to stay friends which adds another complication to it) but I've lost all my support network.
My GP is really good and I've seen him a couple of times since going to the hospital so really he is all the suport I have now. Initially I didn't want to take any pills (last time they didn't help, but put weight on which is another issue) but this last appointment I was struggling so agreed that I needed something. Because my insomnia is back too he's put me on Mirtazapine 15mg.
However, I had to rush back a few hours later (even before I got my pills) as I felt like I was spiraling and the black thoughts were getting really dark and I felt unsafe. I was fitted back in and broke down in his surgery. He rang the crisis team on my behalf, which referred me across to the community support team, and he was with me until I was calmer. He tried to get them to come out to me but the most they would do was ring me back a bit later.
Well they did ring but bearing in mind the state I was in at the GP (and yes I was bad and unsafe) they didn't ask how I was doing or anything. They just basically said that I had been referred to the team and I would be offered an appointment which would probably be in the next fortnight and could either be at home or at the clinic and I would recieve a letter in the post.
So I really don't have much faith in them now, I'm bad enough that if I'm having a bad time I have difficulty talking but if I'm supposed to be contacted to talk and they don't even try, why should I?
I know I have my GP at least and he's said I can go in if I need to but that is only available Mon-Fri office hours and he does have the odd day off.
What does everyone else do for support? I'm really struggling.Think I'm going to be back at GP again tomorrow with how I am at mo
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