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I suffered from anxiety most of my life . Over the past 15 yrs I've been on and of anti depressants and diazepam. After sertraline sent me absolutely mental last year, my gp referred me to a physciatrist .
They declined the refferal 😬 so the gp swapped me to mirtazapine 30mg. After no improvement they increased it to 45mg. By the end of Dec last year my anxiety was at a all time high. I couldn't sleep . Strange rushing thoughts wouldn't stop entering my head and I started to think I can't carry on like this anymore.
I see my gp and he has added buspirone (buspar) 15mg to take along with 45mg mirt and again referred me to the psychiatrist .
This time they see me within 4 days diagnosed me with GAD and increased the buspirone to 25mg.
Along with Mirtazapine 45mg. This was 4th Jan this year. I've been waiting 6 months for cbt on the nhs. The psychiatrist has also referred me for cbt.
I'm in a total mess and I'm just left playing the waiting game....I received a letter saying that in due cause I will have another appointment with the psychiatrist to review my medication and If the buspirone makes no difference they will change it.
I have no idea how long I have to wait. Every day and night seem like an eternity. Diazepam is the only thing that stops me doing something stupid. I've told the psychiatrist I take it and he said that it is fine just only when I really have to. Yesterday was so bad I ended up taking 5mg at 6am 5mg at 1pm and another at 5mg at 6pm then 7mg of zopiclone at 12pm so I could sleep.
I don't take it every day . The last time I took it was about 4 or 5 days ago and that was 5mg.
I struggle to leave the house without having a panic attack.
In March im ment to be going away as it's my best mates 40th. Last night I decided to tell him i couldn't go and make up some crap excuse as to why. However when I arrived at his house the other 3 people that were going have pulled out so it's just me and him ..... so his relying on me.
I hate flying . I had my first ever panic attack on a plane. Fxxk I can't even leave the house at the moment 😕 .......
So I just thought I'd rant and rave on here , needed to get it out.
If you've read this far I'd like to thank you for taking the time to read it.
Wishing everyone the best
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