Struggling with BV for almost 15 years now!

I am glad I have found this forum, not because I'm happy other people are suffering with this HORRIBLE FREAKING ISSUE, but because I'm not alone and I have found some great ideas and information here. I wanted to share my experience and maybe cry about it a little. Side notes:  I take a 8 billion acidopholius bifidus refridgerated capsule daily and when I ran out I noticed an immediate flare-up... so I do not go without it anymore and may even increase the dose or find a higher dose capsule. I will be purchasing folic acid soon since I have read here that it's helpful in prevention and relief.

I have went to doctors, been through antibiotics, prescriptions, Metrogel and oral, only to have this HORRIBLE, DISGUSTING problem come back over and over and over! I hate it! HATE IT! Recently it had become the worst it's ever been, heavy discharge that I'd sometimes have to excuse myself to the restroom just to wipe it off because it's uncomfortably wet, and the smell, not fishy, but trashy, like... decaying meat, sour, rotten, dumpster in the summer... maybe it was just in my mind but it was one of the most embarrassing ordeals, wondering if people around me could smell me, and they had to, I could smell me... I'm almost in tears typing it.

Last Wednesday I purchased and used a medicated douche that comes with an iodine packet that you mix together. I know they say douching can aggrivate it further but after months of constant heavy, wet discharge the consistency of milk, pale yellow in color, and then a sudden onset of odor of garbage coming from my lady parts, I figured it really couldn't get any worse. Hours and money dedicated to laying on the doctor's table in stirrups for medications that ultimately helped for a week or 2 were not going to cut it any longer.

Immediately after douching, I felt different. I put on my panties and a panty liner (did I mention how many pairs of panties I've ruined with stains from this heavy discharge?) and waited. At this point my body and mind are hyper sensitive, high alert, waiting for the antagonizing wetness to come back, a faint whiff of the malodor. No discharge that day. The smell, instantly gone. I was elated.

This past weekend, 3 days later, I began to have discharge, but no smell. Clear discharge, very light, the consistency of egg white, very... normal? I don't know, because I am not sure what normal is anymore. I just know I'd been anxiously waiting to see if the smell and heavy wetness occured again, and once I felt wetness, I was immediately afraid. I knew I had another douche, and I decided to use it today (Monday). It took a lot of willpower to wait, honestly, and I probably didn't need to douche again, but now my paranoia is at an all time high, and I don't feel like I can be too comfortable with this break in the BV. What a life! Living in fear of your own vagina. I have ordered more of the medicated douches (they're available at my local stores but I find it humiliating to have to purchase it so I pay the extra and have them shipped now). Even now I feel a tiny bit of wetness that is probably normal, yet I'm wanting to go in my bathroom and wipe myself dry. I fear that even if it were to never come back, I'll be hooked on weekly douching and compulsive cleaning/drying, ever afraid of it's return.

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