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Hi All,
Just looking for some people in similar situations to myself.
I have a well balanced life and have always been a very positive person. I would always look on the bright side and see the good in things rather that the bad.
One night nearly a year ago i was in bed just about to fall asleep when I got this overwhelming feeling of loosing control. I felt as though my body could do its own thing without my consent. It wasnt an out of body experience but it was extremely freightening.
Since then I have had three repetative thought patterns/fears which I cant get out of my head.
Firstly I have a very stressful job and am always on the go. So whenever I sit to relax I find it extremely hard to unwind. I almost feel dizzy when I try to relax. Even when I go to bed my mind races for 10 minutes or so then I begin to fall asleep. Just as my mind relaxes and im about to fall asleep my body either jolts and wakes me up with a tremmer feeling or else it wakes me up because my thoughts are relaxed and doing there own thing and I get this out of control feeling. (I know this is very hard to understand but its very hard to put into words). This may hapen 1-3 times before I fall asleep and generally I will then sleep for the night without any problems. The next morning I wake up and the first thing that pops into my head is am I feeling ok today.
I get up out of bed and get ready for work and go about my daily routine. My day is normally always ok but the problem is I cant stop questioning myself about how im feeling.
I cant look forward to thing that I normally would because I'm scared of how I will feel at that moment in time. Example would be that I used to love to booking holidays and going away with my family. Now I'm scared to book a holiday because im scared of how I will feel when im away or scared of having anxiety attacks when im away.
The next thing is that I fear I will go crazy from all of these crazy thoughts or I will get to a stage that I cant cope with it anymore even though I love life.
I have tried some therapy and spoken to a doctor. The doctor automatically prescribed antianxiety tablets which I didnt take as I do not want to become dependant on them and I dont like the sound of the side effects. The therapy was good but after a few months the therapist and I agreed that the only issue is that I'm not letting this go and tye theraphy was just something else reminding me of it. The therapist also felt that I am completely normal which was a relief.
My next and possibly biggest problem is that I feel that there is no fix for me and I have to live like this forever.
I dont know if im suffering from anxiety or depression or something else different because I dont have full blown anxiety attacks. Just dicomfort which I can control. When it gets bad its like I go into my own world of worry in my head and when im through it i spend the next day or 2 dwelling on it. I can go for a week or so without any problems but then these feelings just hit me and im back to square 1.
I feel that alot of it is down to stress and I need to spend some time relaxing but I fear relaxing because that's when my mind is most active. Its a vicious circle.
This is just a summary of how I have been feeling but I can go into aspects in more detail as I know it may not make sense.
Anyway im just looking for anyone with similar situations or advice or how people have overcome this type of thing.
Thanks in advance.
Stephen.
1 like, 2 replies
donna68540 stephen_27286
Posted
You have taken good steps.
I respect your reasoning about the drugs.
Have you blood tested for anything abnormal. Vitamin, mineral and thyroid/parathyroid issues. You'll need a doc for that.
Some peeps need pharma. I do. I also need proper vitamin supplements.
I still worry about the good of all. I'm not sure that this is a flaw.
cathyanne_20404 stephen_27286
Posted
Same here. Haven't overcome this as yet. I do take meds. I try some therapy techniques breathing. But I still have anxiety everyday for hours. In the evening I'm pretty calm but tired from fighting anxiety all day.
I had to give in to meds. I would have killed myself or cracked up long ago. Good luck!
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