Suffering ... Please Tell Me That It Will End One Day
Posted , 13 users are following.
I have been struggling with the emotional aspects of perimenopause for close to two years now. I have done everything that I know how to do to cope with this, but it feels so much more powerful than me, and I am absolutely exhausted with having to continue to deal with this. The suffering defies comprehension!
I am strong, and I will persevere, but it is definitely not how I want to live:(
I have moments, hours, days when I feel perfectly normal, but then something shifts, and I feel lost, hopeless, filled with negative thoughts, devoid of energy, detached from my surroundings (the list goes on).
I am 50, and I am still getting a monthly period, but it is totally erratic now (early, late, heavy, almost non-existent...).
I know that this is a stage, and I need to move through it, and I am, but I am just flabbergasted that it is SO hard!!
Looking for support from the lovely women on this forum.
2 likes, 12 replies
lisa17089 bev27429
Posted
Hi bev
You are not alone, I'm 50 and my emotions are up and down its horrible. I suffer with health anxiety and all these symptoms make me worse, because I think I have some thing seriously wrong with me me. I ache all over, shoulders, back legs arms. My arms somedays feel like lead weights. And I get a shaky jelly like feeling in them like I've just had a workout I also get muscle twitches all over it freaks me out. . I do work but on my days off I just lay all day and literally have no energy to do anything. I would do anything to feel normal xxx
nanc00951 bev27429
Posted
This post came at a perfect time
i just want to cry all day and want to so nothing
I am 56 have had some spotting within this year
I JUST saw my GYN today. When I told her how I felt she suggested HRT patch or antidepressant
Really not what I wanted to hear today
I just want to feel better! AND not begin meds etc
Guest bev27429
Posted
Hi Bev, It is been hard for me too for almost 2 years.I would do anything for at least a good nights sleep, I am up all night sweating. During the day my head hurts and I am a dizzy mess. My husband and 2 kids depend on me, but, I wish I could be put in a medically induced coma, wake up and be done with this. I am going to be 42...periods all over the place. Sending hugs your way!
Keljo48 bev27429
Edited
You are not alone. I am 50 and I also suffer from health anxiety. I worry about everything my body does.
I had been in peri for at least 4 years when I started to suspect what it was. I am now 16 months without a period and I still have symptoms. I think it feels more scary because there seems to be less information for "post" menopausal symptoms. Breast pain (right and left side) seems season allergies are a problem now. At least that what I think it may be. I get a back ache out of the blue on one side and I worry what that could be a symptom of. I actually get disgusted with myself which leads to depression. I have no motivation anymore. I live in an area without any family or friends and the only companion is my new puppy and my husband. (Yes, I know I am pathetic) Unfortunately I find my puppy more of a comfort. My husband just either gets quiet or avoids me all together. Lucky him, I would avoid me if I could.
So recently I just shouted "Where the hell is the light at the end of the tunnel? Is it just one long tunnel?" My neighbors won't make eye contact with me Sigh. I am my own worst enemy.
I swear if I win the lottery I am starting a Women's Menopause retreat. A relaxing place of understanding, real help and friendship. A place for all of us to recharge and regroup.
I feel menopause is basically peaks and valleys. Sometimes it feels like the valleys will never end. I try to use the peaks to regroup and fortify my defenses for the next valley.
Gypsy014 Keljo48
Posted
Right on keljo I'm with you on that womans menopause retreat 😊
louise25018 Keljo48
Posted
hiya
Im so sorry to hear you are so very low hunni.
I am 54 and was having the exact and I mean EXACT same feelings and experiences as you. I felt totally lost and alone with it all.
My doc was very supportive and understanding though and after 2 years of avoiding HRT i finally decided to accept her advice and give it a go.
Within a week I felt brighter and after 3 weeks no more hot flushes!! Sleep was amazing and i started to feel like the younger me.
Confidence slowly returned and I got back to the gym (I gave up before as I was always so exhausted and felt "old" around everyone before).
My real turning point came when I started yoga and body balance, took up meditation (try the HEADSPACE App its amazing) and then changed my diet to vegetarian.
This wasn't an overnight change and there were ups and downs but I feel so much better now. i hope this helps you in some way and I hope youll feel more your normal self soon.
Big hugs xxx
Gypsy014 bev27429
Posted
Hi bev, hang on there you'll feel good again..stupid hormones up and down argh..
nanc00951 Gypsy014
Posted
Hi Gypsy
I replied to Bev above
just wondering when you actually feel good again?
A question I hope someone can answer
Gypsy014 nanc00951
Posted
Hi nanc, I can't answer as to when not at all, I really wish one day I myself will wake up from this nightmare, I do however have days where I'm ok not perfect but ok for a few days, but then all symptoms come right back and rotate all month every month, and I'm waiting too for that one magic day that the awful symptoms that cycle themselves are a thing of the past..
kelly55079 bev27429
Posted
I hear you loud and clear.. I'll be 50 in a few months and I was just telling myself I don't want to live till I'm 90.. Dealing with the kids and their issues then of course my own. And then worry about aunts getting cancer or Altimizers.. When I was younger I just went with the flow now I over process things. But yes I have those good days where I think life is great-- I feel good and I have 'things' in order. Then other days I feel lost and I need my mom or sister by my side. It's scary NOT wanting to do errands or shopping.. And to be honest (this is so sad) I could care less about going to the school sporting events that my kids play in. My period is very heavy which is difficult enough BUT days before I can't stop eating and then during I'm wiped out.. Yep, this is not how I thought 50 would be.
Guest bev27429
Posted
I think it helps to recognize that when you ARE getting these feelings you can tell yourself you know WHY.
I spent a good year trying to figure out what disease I was dying from. The anxiety of it all was overwhelming and I'm sure caused other issues.
Now when I'm having a really rough day I just try and remind myself that it will pass, I'm ok, hormones are screwing with me again.
It's really an awful time in life. Who knew?
Someone started a thread on saying positive things about meno. Couldn't respond!!! Ain't nothin good bout stupidpause!!!!
claire38123 bev27429
Posted
hi bev iam 46 iv had hot flushes since i was 39 after having an hysterectomy but kept my ovaries in since christmas iv had so many problems ,palpitations,ache all over, lumpy boobs,cant taste or smell,sinus problems,hot and cold sweats the list is endless but the worse is anxiety iv never felt felt so crap in all my life iv been on the sick now since 2nd wk in jan as my anxiety is through the roof and my GP has said its because of being peri and as i cant take HRT he can only give me antidepressants which up to now iv not taken even occ health at work have said iam not fit for work so there going to pay for 6 sessions of CBT to see if that helps me i work for asda so i thought that was really good of them as waiting for cbt on nhs can take months so iam hoping this will help me even if a tiny bit as iam sick of thinking or should i say over thinking something awful is going on, even though i know deep down its all bloody hormonal or should i say lack of so my lovely lady you are not alone and this site is amazing and so are all the ladies who tell us we are not alone in this hormonal hell pit they call the bloody menopause big hugs to all xx