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I feel as if I am in the middle of the ocean frantically swimming looking for land but no land in sight. Someone has thrown me a lifebelt which is helping to keep me afloat but I am so exhausted in pain and every so often a huge wave washes over me and pulls me under but somehow I manage to surface again. I am just treading water and can see no land visible and no rescue as only I can get myself out of this awful place and the ability to fight it any more has gone. It is all so hopeless.
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