Suicidal
Posted , 4 users are following.
Hi everyone. I saw my CPN yesterday and told her about how I'd tried to end my life last friday, and that the only reason it didnt work out was that unfortunately someone arrived in the same place in the forrest as me, realised what I was doing and chased me off. I became so angry at the passer by that it just completely threw me and I've been in a state of dispare, unable to do anything, since.
I've got no energy at the moment as I am so caught up in still being here, angry and confused at my failure. I'm in purgatory. I cant move one way or the other. This is why I spoke to her about it, but she didnt really have anything to say other than "oh so you actually went somewhere to do something?" and that was it. She then glossed over it and gave me some worksheets to complete around paranoia (a sperate issue) for our next session.. and said "Thanks, see you again in 2 weeks".
She offered me no help or support at all. I know I didnt actually kill myself but I would have if it wasnt for the passer by. I made that clear to her. But because I didnt die or fail in some other way, is this a normal reaction to recieve? If anyone has any advice on how else I may get help I'd really appreciate it, as I am just so so stuck.
1 like, 4 replies
lynne82155 Inmate88
Posted
I cant comment on the mental health service I know that it is shocking in the Uk you have to FIGHT SHOUT SCREAM for every little bit of help.
It does seem a bit strange that the are not monitoring you closer but all you can do is talk with family friends or on this forum.
Also there are crisis phone line you can call and if everything gets so bad that you think you may go to the forrest again take yourself off to emergency
I wish I could do more for you keep taking your meds
Stay Strong you are not alone
Kayel_Gee Inmate88
Posted
You must be feeling so desperate especially after your disclosure seems to have elicited virtually no response.
Here is how I cope with being very low.
1. I try to do one thing that is good for me - NOW. It may be small like looking at the trees outside . It may be bigger like going for a walk. The point is, it is something I know is good for me and I can do now. I don't try to look further ahead. I just try to make now as good as need to.
2. I stop doing anything that is unhelpful. Again I make this really simple and practical if possible . It might include certain negative thought patterns. But it is something I can do immediately .
I use this every day during these patches. I choose to live one day at a time ... Sometimes only one hour at a time.
3. I find people I trust and agree to check in with them regularly ... Just to give me a fixed point to "survive" until.
4. I make use of the samaritans
5. I make a drs appointment
6. If I think I am a danger I consider going to a & e and admitting myself to hospital .
Depression is a terrible illness. It makes everything seem too hard and life too painful. But we can recover .
Sxx Kayel_Gee
Posted
take care
Sxx
Inmate88
Posted