Suicidal or wanting to die, is there a difference?

Posted , 5 users are following.

I do not want to be alive.. I want to be dead.. but I cant just kill myself .. I just stay alive unhappy and wanting to die all the time and hoping that I get a terminal illness or have a heart attack and just pass away.. I spent the whole of 2018 eating sweets and rubbish hoping to die.. I put on 4 stone but I'm still here.. but if I was suicidal wouldn't I just do it ?

and I'm so annoyed with myself that I cant just do it.. i hope that one day i do .. it's sad cos whenever i read articles about people who have committed suicide i am sort of jealous .. that they could and i couldn't.. obviously it's sad that they did but why cant I just do it.. my cousin did like 10 years ago ..

yeah it broke his family, his mum is still really affected..

but our family is different.. no one would be surprised if I died .. and I'm not feeling sorry for myself but they wouldn't be affected by it .. not for long anyway .. I'm a proper burden, I'm 35 and back living with my mum and her husband I have nothing.. no friends no job i never go out .. it's a wasted life.

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  • Posted

    Hi rachh,

    We note from a recent post which you have made to our forum that you may be experiencing thoughts around self-harm. If we have misinterpreted your comments then we apologise for contacting you directly. But if you are having such thoughts then please note that you are not alone in this, and there are people out there that can help.

    If you are having these suicidal thoughts then we strongly recommend you speak to someone who may be able to help. The Samaritans offer a safe space where you can talk openly about what you are going through. They can help you explore your options, understand your problems better, or just be there to listen.

    Their contact details are on our patient information leaflet here:, which also offers lots of other advice on how you can access the help you may need.

    If you are having such thoughts then please do reach out to the team at the Samaritans (or the other people detailed in our leaflet) who will understand what you're going through and will be able to help.

    If you are based outside of the UK.

    The Samaritans is a UK based charity, but they also have suggestions for how you can access help in other countries.

    Please have a look at this page

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  • Posted

    Hi Racc my heart goes out to you, particularly as your so young, their are words on here that if i say them then my post will be put into moderation and when you feel as you do that would be a waste of time.

    Firstly because your in or under a black cloud your not thinking straight, you cant know that your Mum and family wouldn't care if you did it, I possitively know that would be devastated, unless of course they have told you they dont care.

    You need to get help immediately, Samaritans, Mind, Nomorepanic, you can dial 111 and say you are in mental health crisis etc, I promise they will give you immediate help.

    Please dont think its a waste of a life, no ones life is worthless not even people who have done bad things if they can turn it round.

    Are you under anyone, on any meds to help you get through this, you could be bipolar.

    Talk to someone or even just us on here

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  • Posted

    am sorry to hear that you are in such a dark place right now. id like to know why you want to die, as it sounds like you have little to no self worth, but believe it or not, you do have a purpose, you need to get off your butt and find out what you were put here to do. for example, youve just reminded me on how low someone can feel, and to be thankful for what i have and to stay humble. please also get checked to see if you have unbalanced hormones as if tou have too little serotonin this will be causing issues including how low you are right now. keep us posted

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  • Posted


    you feel alone in this struggle but believe me you are not . I too lived with my parents well beyond my adult years . It made me feel like a failure cause your not suppose to live with your parents forever. My issue was that I never felt confident about myself no matter what I was doing . Holding down a job was stressful because i worry what people think of me and always second guessed myself which would in turn make me make mistakes and look dumb all the time . Talk about why you are feeling this way. Then take steps to help you work on your reasons . Really think deep on it.

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  • Posted

    I have also felt like this.. Wishing I would be the to develop an illness just so I wouldn't be a burden on others. Now I'm neutral-- I'm working on me!! Some sort of exercise, eating healthier food-- it does make a difference. I too need to find a job which I believe will make a difference. Don't be too hard on yourself-- each day try to do something good. Are you seeing a therapist? I would look into this because sometimes talking to them will help out a great deal too..

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