Suicide

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I have been thinking about suicide since upping to 30mg if citalopram from 20mg , its been 8 days but im feeling more and more down and anxious . Ive been through the mental health team before "can you keep youself safe" etc . Wether its my ms or the cit i dont know but life seems pointless . All i hear is it will get better , think of your daughter etc etc

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  • Posted

    Hi Gary, I'm so sorry to hear you are feeling so low. Please don't despair, there is light at the end of the tunnel. Your increased anxiety is likely to be an effect of increasing your dose and will settle down, it will just take time. I know how difficult it can be and how much of a struggle it seems, but you WILL get better. Stay as positive as you can. If you are feeling at risk of suicide PLEASE talk to your loved ones or contact the mental helpline number or samaritans. Has your doctor prescribed you anything to ease the anxiety during your induction onto citalopram? This drug is very hard to get onboard with and you are not on your own, there are many of us out there feeling similar things. It is just a matter of time, allowing the drug to get into your system and take effect. It may be worth another visit to your GP to explain how you are feeling and to see if there is any further help / support. Sending you best wishes and hugs.
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    • Posted

      I was under the care of the mental health team at the beginning of the year and all they say is can you keep youself safe ! Im struggling here , hope its the increase x
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  • Posted

    Hi Gary

    it may be worth pulling back the citalopram back to your previous dose of 20mg. Until you get time to discuss your concerns with the increased dose. You ill health seems to have rocketed since upping the dose. I went up to 30mg of mirtazipine a few days back and was so ill. Was laying in bed for those days feeling desperately unwell and downing diazepam to get me through the days. A lovely friend on this forum suggested my increased dose was responsible. I decided to temporarily reduce back down to 15mg until I could speak to my doctor. Day After starting decrease I began to feel so much better again. After speaking with my gp today she confirmed my reaction was that the dose was too high, and confirmed that I should stay on the 15.

    Worth a shot Gary rather than suffering so badly. Try and get urgent gp call back to get a medical viewpoint xxx

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  • Posted

    I know how tough it is but don't lose hope Gary. As Lorraine suggests, see your doctor to discuss your dosage asap. In the meantime, chat to your family and friends about how you are feeling and try to keep yourself busy and occupied. I find that trying to get absorbed in a film or tv show helps short term when my anxiety is at its worst. Are you seeing a counsellor or getting any additional support? x
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  • Posted

    I understand completely how you feel (not that I am trying to switch it from you). Unless you have experienced these feelings you have no idea. When you get that low it seems nothing else is important. To me it's not about keeping yourself safe it's being able to see another perspective on life, unfortunately that is the hardest thing to do when you are so low. I have been at the point that you are now, the last 20 years I have devoted my life to looking after my Mum, she died last week and although I no she is out of pain I feel lost. Then I realised suicide is so selfish as although my hurt would ease I couldn't cause my family that pain. Please try to keep going with this and take any help you can get, you are not alone with this
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  • Posted

    I hear you. Sucks having this condition going on in the brain and its easy for others to say do this or that. I do have a son who means alot to me and I think of him when I'm at my major lows. I've had 3 close friends go the suicide way and had so much going for themselves on the outside. It helps me to know I'm not alone when others are thinking similar. I'm continuing with getting help and adjustments to the damn meds to get back to a needed normal feeling life. I know it's there and just takes a ton of strength to find it. Praying for you to find it also.
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  • Posted

    Gary, remember it's the drugs thinking not you, I'm certain it's the increase xxx I like Lorraine's idea of dropping back to the original dose until you can speak to someone about it properly xxx please please don't do anything rash, call an ambulance or the out of hours docs if necessary (the out of hours Dr was amazing when I was in a massive state) xx big hug xx do you have any Diazapam that you can take to calm your thoughts? Much love xxx
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  • Posted

    Gary

    My 20 year old son was at this exact point a year ago whilst on Fluoxetine.  It was a terrifying and emotional time for him and the family too.  He was in a desperate state, and eventually the mental health team had to step in.  He pulled through and slowly he began to recover and is now back to his happy normal self once again.

    You will hear the same words - 'you WILL get better' - I told my son this time and time again, but when you're in this state you just can't see anything but misery and the dreadful fearful feeling you're going through right now.

    It took my son around 8 months before I heard him laugh again - it made me cry.  

    I would think that the 30mg maybe too high for you at this point then.  You're having side effects of a dose increase and this is the medication making you feel this way, and though you can't see a way out, you will.  Promise.

    If you feel really bad please speak to someone - the Samaritans, the Crisis Team, family ... anyone.  My son got into a desperate situation one day and called me and it became a battle to find him.......

    Please speak to someone.  This feeling, this illness, WILL ease in time.  However bad it gets, it will go.

    We all understand what you're going through - you're not alone.

    K x

     

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    • Posted

      Hi, you are so helpful ang great on her, I also am struggling, on sertraline for 5 months then went to Wellbutrin and that was horrible. Went on Citi for 5 months and just didn't think I needed it anymore, was drug free for 5 months, so went on Lexapro(10 mg) and was great for a month, except no sexual satisfaction at all, then feeling bad went to 20 mg and nothing yet, which it's almost a month and this is suppose to help faster. So been thinking of 5- HTP and L- Tryosine, reading up on these is confusing, especially 5-HTP, some say take with food, take on empty stomach, time release is best, don't take time release😫 And you have said to be off anti- depressants before starting! How long is long enough?? And can I take the L-Tyrosine if the Lexapro is still in my system? I haven't taken Lexapro for 3 days, just going cold turkey, and so far I'm doing ok! Total I've only been on Lexapro for 3 months, so seeing you comment on 5HTP and tyrosine often,I'm going for it!! Sorry for the lengthy comment, just wanna get started!! Thanks in advance!! Your an amazing person!!
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    • Posted

      Hi Beth (aww thanks for the compliments) xxx

      So the Citalopram worked for you and then you came off it when you felt well?  Why didn't you go back on Cit when you felt unwell again?  It's best not to keep switching meds as your body gets confused 😝

      I've read that some people have a depletion in different neurotransmitters ie serotonin, dopamine etc and that either SSRI's or SRNI's work better for different people as they work on different ones, depending on which neurotransmitter you're affected by.  It might be why some people don't get better taking SSRI's.

      5-HTP and l-tyrosine.  I always promote these as these have worked for me before.  No you must not take 5-HTP with SSRI's as 5-HTP elevates serotonin, but I can't find anything that says you can't take l-tyrosine with your meds, and in fact I take it.  It's always best to check with your doctor though.

      Going cold turkey isn't a good idea though as you might be very ill.  Always check with your doctor too if stopping meds xx.

      If starting 5-HTP and l-tyrosine I strongly recommend getting the book "5-HTP The Natural Way to Overcome Depression, Obesity by Michael T Murray" as there's so much information about it and tells you how best to take it.  5-HTP works much quicker and you may start to feel the benefits just after 2 weeks, and there's no nasty side effects (doesn't interfere with sex)!  You can also stop this anytime too as there's no withdrawal effects.

      I can't find any info about how long to wait before starting 5-HTP, but maybe a good guide would be is when the withdrawal symptoms from SSRI's stop?  Again maybe speak to your doctor or even the pharmacist would advise.

      Again, I'd really get the book - I found it so interesting.

      K xx

       

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    • Posted

      Good Morning from Wisconsin😀 Thanks so much for getting back to me!! Not sure why the Dr decided on Lexapro. But on Sertraline, Wellbutrin, Celexa and Lexapro I just stopped cold turkey and nothing bad, maybe little lightheaded or headaches, that's y I'm thinking it's just not for me plus the fact I don't want to be on them for various reasons! I'm off Lexapro for a week now and have never felt better. Even with Lexapro the holidays were tough, I'm really doing some soul searching on what gets me down, and when I get down I drink. And don't care about anything really, I'm sure as heck not happy! Only had a couple drinks over the holidays and then decided enough is enough. And stopped before it got out of hand and also stopped the Lexapro. I have been reading a lot about 5-HTP and L-tyrosine and I have gotten 5-HTP, but have not started and won't for awhile, can I ask what kind you are taking of both supplements? So hard to decide, with so many different opinions and I don't know of anybody on either one! And plan on getting the book!! Can you please tell me your experience when just taking the L-tyrosine alone and when you take them together!! This is such a relief talking to someone who has actually been on them and not trying to tell to buy there product to make money! Your a Godsend!!!😊😊. Beth
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    • Posted

      Hi Beth

      When I took 5-HTP I started l-tyrosine at the same time.  Apparently l-tyrosine boosts the 5-HTP (the book explains it best).  I've never taken just l-tyrosine on its own, but at the moment I take it with Citalopram as I'm only on 5mg Cit as am preparing to come off it later this year.

      I took 5-HTP and l-tyrosine for a good year and felt quite well plus I had no side effects whatsoever.  I did feel flat to start with but that was probably coming off Cit and my body getting used to it.  One thing I did notice though was that I became quite emotional - I think Citalopram dumbs down ones emotions, so when I stopped my emotions came back big time and I found I could cry for England! 😜

      I found reading the book was so helpful - especially the part about serotonin, what it does, what happens when we have low levels.

      You can also stop 5-HTP and l-tyrosine any time without withdrawing as there's no side effects.

      Only take the recommended dose on the bottle though as there is a danger of serotonin syndrome (that's why you can't take it with a prescribed SSRI).

      I only restarted Citalopram because of a huge emotional time due to family illness, which I found I needed help with from Cit.

      K x

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  • Posted

    garyflinn, how are you doing?!  We haven't heard from you since your post here.  I agree that going back to 20 mg is in order.  Suicidal ideation as a side effect ito these drugs is always a serious matter and no, pushing through in hopes of it settling is NOT advised.  I am glad to see that no one has suggested it, though I've seen people do that here before.  

    May I ask why the doctor wanted to up your dose?  How long were you on 20 mg?

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