Suicide Selfishness?

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It's been said that suicide is a selfish act, but who's actually the selfish one? Is the one who commits suicide selfish for supposedly not taking others into consideration, or are the others selfish in wanting someone in pain to stick around for their own gratification?

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  • Posted

    Hello Kim

    I get where you're coming from. 

    Maybe suicide is selfish? - hard to ultimately say otherwise; however, generally driven by desperation, isn't it? It might seem terrible to carry on with life, however I doubt most people do it to spite those close to them.

    Still - without knowing details of a specific case, I would certainly NOT personally suggest that 'the others' would be wanting someone near to them to be sticking around only "for their own gratification" - I think this misrepresents the desperateness of those near to depressed / suicidal loved ones. Sure, suicide has the potential to smash their lives apart forever - your heart would go out to children especially, but all of those near us who care - but I would hesitate to label this selfish. Surely it's nearly always mixed with genuine care and love for the suicidal one?

    I know for myself, the darker and deeper my depression - the more everyone around me did and said 'everything wrong', and the less I appreciated their own anxiety and desperateness to help. Sure they probably didn't understand - but who can completely blame them when we're such complex creatures locked in our own inward turmoils and darkness of our own minds and obsessions? I was so harsh on my parents when I lived at home, looking back, when all they wanted was my good health.

    I would also fear to intervene in the area of giving and taking life, which belongs to God alone.

    If you are the suicidal one Kim, my heart goes out to you. Don't try and do or be anything. Just cry to the Lord and let Him do it all, and take you one step at a time. Don't be put off by setbacks - two steps forward and one back (or even two or three back!) is OK, just keep going. DO take your medication (get it reviewed if necessary), it doesn't fix the circumstances that drive the depression, but it's an essential part of balancing the effects of it, i.e. the chemicals that make up our body.

    My very best wishes for you and those close to you. I'm sorry my attempt to respond seems so feeble.

    "For every one whosoever, who shall call on the name of the Lord, shall be saved." Romans ch. 10 v. 13

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    • Posted

      I completely understand what you're saying, and there's always two sides to every coin.

      Personally, I'm not suicidal at the moment, but it does cross my mind on occasion, then leaves as quickly as it came.

      I was just curious what other people think when they hear that suicide is a selfish act, or how the person who committed suicide is selfish. I've never really seen it that way though.

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    • Posted

      Thanks Kim. It's good to ask about our worries - and as you rightly say, it's not as simple or black / white as people say.

      I know people who did take their own lives, but clearly it was a 'spur of the moment' thing due to their mind illness. They were good people with no skeletons in the cupboard causing it. It wasn't pre-meditated. No less a tragedy, for them and shatteringly so their loved ones, but I wouldn't call them 'selfish'.

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  • Posted


    Taking your own life because of terrible pain or depression, is it selfish?

    I feel so sorry for the completely uninvolved person, the train driver seeing you for the last time as you selfishly step out in front of his/her train.

    The pedestrian splattered by your brains as you selfishly step off a building. The emergency services responsible for scraping you off the road.

    You can be selfish taking your own life, but in ways you may not think of.

    Don't do it ,get help.


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  • Posted

    A person thinking of suicide is not thinking about others in the way they would if not feeling desperate. Depression is the leading cause and the person needs help. If you are that person please talk to someone. If your not, find help for that person. I know from experience that when a person gets to that point, they are crying for help. I also know that Iam glad I didn't suceed. Either way I certaintly hope that the person you speak about does find help. Please don't let this happen, people do care no matter what the thinking is at the present time. So many times you hear people blaming themselves for this. We all need to know the signs and help those that need this help.

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