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Hi, I was diagnosed with severe depression a couple of years ago and prescribed antidepressants which I have taken sporadically - but now taking them as directed. I also had an eating disorder which everyone thinks is under control as I have gained weight, but really I am losing it slowly so no one notices, it makes it easier with the long term plan.
I have decided that after being called stupid by my husband after taking an overdose of paracetamol that the only way to get out of this never ending painful existence is to take a long term overdose. I started about 6 months ago taking about 20 a day in 4 doses of 5, and have gradually increased it to 4 lots of 10, I am still here obviously but just want to die.
My husband doesnt listen - especially if there is sport on tv, my kids are teenagers - so they are instinctively selfish. I have no family or friends. I know what the end will be like as my father died of liver diease, but I see no other way out.
No one sees the agony I go through as I have learnt to wear a mask, but I cant carry on like this much longer, I need it to end soon.
I suppose I am writing this to see if anyone can give me a guide as to how much longer I will have to carry on with this, do I need to increase the dose again or will I have done enough damage so that it is too late anyway........
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