Supporting someone with mental health issues

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I have been supporting my husband of 13 years and been together for 19 with his mental health issues for approximately 5 years and he has left me and our daughter saying that he can't put me through the pain anymore. He said he has ruined my sparkle and he can't do it to us anymore. He has gone to live with his parents while he finds somewhere to live alone. I am really struggling as I love him so much, but he is not prepared to get any help. I am worried about his state of mind as well as what we have to lose. I really want him to get well and be the man he wants to be (the person he was before) is there anything I can do to help, or is this the end. He is my soul mate, my rock, my best friend and husband.

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  • Posted

    If you two are really meant to be together and have known eachother for a ling time then I'd say this isnt necessarily the end. However, I'm not sure if theres much more you can do to help him with his mental health issues at the moment. It's his decision in the end to seek help. Maybe his parents will urge him to get help? Maybe you could talk to his parents about your concern?

    My mom was engaged to a man years ago with bipolar disorder, and she ended things due to him not seeking help. However they're still friends and still keep in touch to this day. Mental health issues can take a huge toll on relationships but never give up!

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  • Posted

    What a lucky man to have had someone like you to support him through his mental health issues.

    Sadly though it has to be his choice on whether he continues to live with you or not and it may actually be good for him to have to survive on his own.

    Sometimes people who are dependent on other people can become worse not better so he may improve and then you could possibly get back together

    I think it's called codependancy

    Enjoy your space and time where you haven't got to be a carer and see what happens

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  • Posted

    I think that is a very noble thing that your husband did by leaving and putting the burden of his upkeep on his parents instead of his wife. This choice was an ethical one.

    I supported someone with severe mental health issues for 17 years until I walked out. He never once acknowledged the burden he was putting on me or the fact that I was supporting him.

    It was not morally right for me to submit myself to this type of unfairness, and I wish with all my heart that I had left while I was still young and could thereby start building a healthy life for myself without being saddled with a grown man-child to support. I didnt realize until it was too late what an immeasurable toll this took on me.

    I really feel that you are in an optimum position now to take care of yourself and I hope that the next partner if there is one will be someone able to contribute half or more to the household.

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