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tackling relationships if you have IBS

Posted , 6 users are following.

maggie70209
maggie70209

Dear All,

Following on from the helpful comments in response to my last post, I wanted to ask about managing relationships with IBS?

How to you talk with the other person, about IBS?

and how did it go? what was their reaction?

I have been putting off having a relationship, because I feel nervous about talking about it

I've already started to think that maybe I don't need to worry so much????

0 likes, 24 replies

24 Replies

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  • Shellie6810
    Shellie6810 maggie70209

    Posted

    Hi Maggie! I've never let my ibs stop me from having relationships. I don't even remember how or why I told my husband about it when we were dating. But he has had to see me go through many many IBS attacks. He feels bad but he deals with it.

    • maggie70209
      maggie70209 Shellie6810

      Posted

      Thank you very much for letting me know - I feel encouraged that it can work out despite IBS
    • Shellie6810
      Shellie6810 maggie70209

      Posted

      You're welcome! I dobbelieve it can work when you're with the right person. : )

  • astrozombie
    astrozombie maggie70209

    Posted

    I was with my partner for the best part of 5 years and for 2 of those she was very supportive but in the end the situation became untenable as I started to be ill on a more regular basis which meant nothing could be planned days out, holiday etc and there was one event she really wanted to attend with me but as always I became ill and something changed between us after that and I knew it was the end of the line but that was 4 years ago now and I feel the pressure has lessened so looks like the right decision for both of us but we could not go on as we were. We still see each other as friends occasionally. 
    • maggie70209
      maggie70209 astrozombie

      Posted

      Thank you for sharing this very personal story, it is much appreciated. I'm sorry that IBS got in the way.....

    • astrozombie
      astrozombie maggie70209

      Posted

      Apparently it wasn't IBS it is a small intestine issue but I won't bore you with that.

      Not necessarily on this thread but on others' people see my former partner's behaviour as improper so I just want to add I was violently ill on such a regular basis I felt ashamed to be around people saying how are you feeling? There is only so much one can take before starting to withdraw from people so I completely blame myself for what happened as I was the one who withdrew.

      Also my condition is not IBS a CT scan has found but I have very similar symptoms.

    • astrozombie
      astrozombie pippa58442

      Posted

      I do not know enough yet. I have a mid July meeting with the doc to discuss CT results but I do have Mesenteric panniculitis, as per results letter, but I do not know if one leads to the other or they are 2 distinct conditions. Hopefully I will know more in a few weeks. 
    • pippa58442
      pippa58442 astrozombie

      Posted

      I googled this condition and while the symotoms are similar to IBS, the cause is different.
    • astrozombie
      astrozombie pippa58442

      Posted

      It is the symptoms which concern me as they are what hinder me and cause me great anxiety every time I go out.
    • astrozombie
      astrozombie pippa58442

      Posted

      Doc said I have boh conditions causing different symptoms but I do have IBS. I thought it was either or but In rare cases it can be both. I am special I suppose smile . At least I can put to be bed The it's not IBS as IBS doesn't cause sickness questions. It I said definitely a step in the right direction in terms of knowledge but the end result is no change. 

    • pippa58442
      pippa58442 astrozombie

      Posted

      You certainly have a double whammy of problems!  I find my IBS can make me feel sick if the pain is very bad.  Thankfully, that doesn’t happen too often.
    • astrozombie
      astrozombie pippa58442

      Posted

      Indeed and getting worse again. Another redundancy means I once again have to drive in the morning. It did not go well last time so I shall to see how it goes again.

      I don't just feel sick I am physically sick and annoyingly on far too regular a basis. I would say 6 or 7 times since Christmas and none alcohol related so monthly. 

      It is a vicious circle. I get sick if I am stressed. I am stressed if I am away from the loo for too long which makes me anxious which makes me need the loo which makes me sick which makes me late for work smile .And repeat.

    • pippa58442
      pippa58442 astrozombie

      Posted

      Have you told your boss about your IBS to see if adjustments can be made to try and reduce your stress?
    • astrozombie
      astrozombie pippa58442

      Posted

      I have only been there a few days and a real geezer's environment so not sure if the opportunity will arise but I did in my last role but this is poles apart. If the opportunity arises I will but the masculine environment means it may not be as easy. I shall see. 

    • pippa58442
      pippa58442 astrozombie

      Posted

      It is perfectly OK to mention problems even in a masculine environment.  Holding them back will only cause more anxiety..  You will be surprised how sympathetic people can be.
    • astrozombie
      astrozombie pippa58442

      Posted

      I have done just that. He just said take my mobile and tell me if you are going to be late which I too know as he is ok with it but who knows Clint Eastwood talks more. I can't say anything I don't say much either but positively chatty in here.

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