Posted , 4 users are following.
Hey guys, i would like to gain some insight on people who suffer with depression and or feeling void, emotion less.
Tell me what you wish people knew.
What you expected from your loved ones.
Did you wish they stop talking to you till you felt better.
Them leaving your life made anything better for you?
Did you resolve your feeling of being emotionally disconnected.
Tell me what you wish people would understand and did to help you.
2 likes, 9 replies
Baddog Maryannn
Posted
I started feeling depressed at about 10 years old. My parents thought I was pretty odd because I never got angry or sad or very happy. I played my guitar about 12 hours a day. In fact, aside from going to school, that's about all I did. I lived in a very isolated place - we didn't have tv, movies or even radio. We did have flush toilets. (That was a joke).
When I was about 13 we moved to a quite large city. I was recruited (actually coerced) into doing some things that I'm not at all proud of. Doing the things I did made me feel even less. I don't think I cried once from the time I was 10 until I was about 20 years old.
After moving back to the states, I finished high school and went to a music conservatory. I had no friends and didn't really feel any sense that I needed them. I was very isolated. In fact, I was the guy that was so preoccupied with music that I ran into door frames.
I expected nothing from my family. Literally nothing. I put on my happy face and acted as normal as I could, but I felt next to nothing other than this. I really hated myself. To the point that I wanted to kill that person.
I don't know if I've resolved anything. I feel what I can describe as empathy. I am incapable of crying for myself, but stupid movies about dogs make me cry. I have married, had a fairly successful career and have two children. Both of them are convinced I suffer from PTSD - what I did when I was 14 through about 18 was actually pretty awful and to my shame, I was proficient at.
I still have what I call episodes in which I become completely detached. I feel nothing, want nothing, need nothing. I am still able to put on my "face" because it distresses my family when I go dead.
I don't wish anyone would understand anything about me. I'm not really worth understanding. I am here because of my children. I can't explain it, but I am. When I am no longer needed, I hope to not be any more.
Maryannn Baddog
Posted
Oh wow must took a lot of courage to write that, I'm so sorry to hear what you've been through have you ever tried therapy? Still wonderful how youve made a life for yourself.
What advice woud you give to people whose loved ones are depressed and detached?
Stacy
hypercat Maryannn
Posted
Hi I have suffered from depression for many years now since around 7 and am in my 60's now. There were lots of signs growing up that I was struggling ie falling well behind at school, having no friends, being sad etc. but neither of my parents ever picked up on it. Maybe they didn't in those days.
I left home at 18 to move to a big city and promptly had a breakdown and ended up in hospital. Neither of my parents came to see me and I remember pleading with my mother on the phone and telling her I needed her. The response? She shouted and yelled at me and I walked away with tears streaming down my face feeling devastated and suicidal. I realised then that I was on my own in life and no one cared.
Since that day I have avoided talking to family though my parents are both gone now. I sought counselling in my 20's and managed to become much more self aware and able to manage (mostly) my depression. I have occasionally chatted about it with friends but rarely asked for any help.
I do have empathy with others but I have had to become quite self absorbed to be able to survive. Nothing is more important than that to me.
Did you get the answers you wanted?
Maryannn hypercat
Posted
I'm so sorry to hear what you've been through, how are you doing now?
Are you where you want to be in life?
How have the years after 20 been for you? Did you ever get married and settle down (it's okay if you don't want to answer)
You're 60 woa really long time ago.
hypercat Maryannn
Posted
In my 60's I said and it doesn't seem that long ago to me though it might to you if you are a youngster. You do make me feel like I came out from the ark though and it might be more diplomatic to reconsider statements like that in future!
I am puzzled why you want to know all about me. Do you have issues which have brought you here? If so how can we help you? x
Maryannn hypercat
Posted
The whole discussion for me was to better understand the world and struggles people face on a daily basis. Mainly because i know of a few people who suffer from it and i myself mildly. Truth is we never really understand it though hence the discussion, you don't have to discuss anything you don't wish to share.
hypercat Maryannn
Posted
Too right I don't. This is one of the few times I am very aware of the generation gap. I don't think you and I are even on the same page so I will bow out of this discussion.
a01894 Maryannn
Posted
I began to struggle with depression when I came to college. It wasn’t an adjustment thing because I love being in new places and experiencing different things and I love where I am now. I fell into depression for a host of reasons, including pressure to succeed, social things and keeping my scholarship to attend college.
Depression is an overwhelming thing. It leaves you with so much pain and no motivation in life. It’s not laziness, trust me, we want to do those things and participate in those activities. However, it’s just that our brains won’t let us. We have tonremember that depression is a disorder of the brain as well.
1.) I wish people knew that I am depressed (Nobody knows). I wish people knew that depression is a debilitating disorder that causes so much pain and numbness at the same time. You never know what someone who is depressed is feeling until you experience it. We want to escape depression so bad but just can’t.
2.)Realistically, I would expect my loved ones to freak out and not know anything about what’s going on with me. They would take things to extreme because they have no idea what depression even is, or doubt that depression even exists and call my depression invalid.
Ideally, I would hope that they would be accepting of me and support me. I would hope that they wouldn’t freak out and I hope they would realize that a mental health disorder is like a physical disorder. I would hope that they would try to understand how depression works, as there are many outlets and resources (for example on the internet) to help. I would hope that they understand depressionis hurtful and valid.
3.) If I were to tell them I’m depressed, I would not want that they kept talking to me about it 24/7. I come from a family who likes to nag and nag all the time and I would want the opposite. It doesn’t mean don’t check on the person at all— once in a while is good. But everyone’s different in what they want so I can’t speak for everyone in this question.
4.) I would never want them to leave because of depression. What if you were diagnosed diabetes or some other disease/disorder and your loved one left you because of it? How would that make you feel? Depression is no different. A loved one leaving would make it worse.
5.) I have not. I try to force myself to seem connected because nobody knows about my depression and it’s just a way to conceal it.
6.) I wish people would not freak out about depression. It is a serious matter but I think so many people are uneducated about mental health or have these preconceived notions that mental health is not real or valid. I wish people would accept mental health disorders and try/make an effort to educate themselves on how their loved ones are feeling and what they can do about it. (Counselors, doctors or more private outlets like Google, youtube, and forums like these)
If you are asking because a loved one is depressed and you need advice, I appreciate your efforts and believe that there should definitely be more people out there like you, actively seeking answers. I wish you so much luck and hope everything works out.
Maryannn a01894
Posted
I dunno where to start but sending lots of love your way. I know exactly what you're talking about not wanting your family to know because you become vulnerable and the constant nagging, i can say i get it I've been there.
Sometimes they just don't understand that you jus wanna lay there and not move for like 3 days lol instead they say how lazy you are and it makes you feel worst. I also understand not being present and having to stay connected just to put up a good front, i went to sewing classes Saturday and i was struggling just to keep it together, I think now i just wanna hear stories of people and their lives to have a better understanding at life.
I def suspect someone i was with is in depression or truthfully im not even sure, as he broke up with me due to stress at work and wanting to succeed and provide for his parents as they are some what incapable, as i do love him a lot i didn't fight him on it, but now i just feel so lost as to whether i should completely erase myself from his life because he hasn't deleted me from any social medias but it does hurt, as i know that my feelings for him is the type that won't ever go away. Thanks so much love but a part of me has accepted defeat.
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