Thats okay, I will just keep talking to myself,...

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:lol: Feel a lot happier today,but very embarassed about last postings. But hey, we all have stories to tell, I guess maybe my madness, badness is perfectly normal though. Anyway, does anyone know anything about foot pain? That is of course, if anyone is there...? :roll:

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11 Replies

  • Posted

    :? Yeah,I have a sore foot. My right one. Everytime I put pressure on it the top bone bit aches, and feels like it is rubbing against little bones. Though its not so bad...I was just worried, in case it is gout??? Do you think it is. I have been drinking like a fish for a very long time, just wine though. I cant touch spirits! And obviously , now trying to stop this.

    Hope you are good. I feel happier today, maybe because I walked 12 miles, but still cannot get to sleep, even on diazepem tabs. I dont mind the insomnia too much , just as long as I am in a good mood the next day! smile

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  • Posted

    Hi Katy

    How are you feeling today? When you said something about mad and bad, well thats how I feel. I feel like I've done so many things in my life that are either mad or bad. I think most of the things are due to depression/Pms or things like that. I've never had and group sessions to talk about things and reading/talking on here is the only help I'm getting at the moment. The doctor put me on pills but do not talk about things. I feel so lucking I have my mum, brother and husband standing by me. I felt they hated me before and I didn't have anyone. Things are getting better but very slowly. Thank you to everyone for doing so well and being here for everyone else. We all need each others support.

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  • Posted

    :lol: Hi Mrs J, I am good today, apart from my sore foot and feeling tired and v restless.

    Been busy though, starting to get things done, for my career and blah blah blah.

    Glad to hear from you, there was not much contact from anyone this weekend and , like yourself, Unless you been in that place of darkness, nervousness and radge I dont think other people understand.

    Yes, I am either, mad or bad. That me! I dont know, I think I will just accept it!

    nervous today though, I have a job interview tom, and I have never craved wine so much. If I don;t get it, then the girls will be very lucky to receive anything from santa, so V worried.

    Anyway, enough of me, god Im boring...how are you doing?

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  • Posted

    Good luck with the job interview,, dont drink any alcohol ffs! :D
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  • Posted

    Hi katy

    Thats great news about the interview. Good luck tomorrow.

    Whats/where the job?

    Do you feel you have a problem with drink?

    I never thought I did but then I didn't drink everyday and thought it was under control. After reading some sites etc, I realised that if you have a drink and don't stop until you get drunk, this is classed as binge drinking and there is a problem. I was horrified when I found this out. I don't drink anymore. I prefer to get better and let the pills work and then I will be able to go out and in the morning get up without feeling like s##t.

    I was going to go to the doctor today to see if i can go back to work but I sat up all night crying. think it was fear.

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  • Posted

    Good luck tomorrow Katy. Whats the job for?

    Agree with Mrs J re the demon drink. I try to avoid it basically because it does give the effect of making me feel better only to feel like sh*t the next day. False hopes etc.

    What you frightened about MrsJ. Going back to work? Reaction of colleagues? I dont blame you. I'm only into my 3rd week off and worrying about all this.

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  • Posted

    Hi john

    Don't know what I'm frightened about. I work with a lot of nice people but one of the managers is a right cow. Before I went on sick leave I was on the verge of smacking her in the face and I'm not a violent person. Maybe it was the depression making me paranoid.

    maybe its being out in the big world without my mum or husband to protect me.

    Maybe its that I think I won't be able to do the work but I know standing on my head and can't see the problem.

    Maybe its the thought of getting to lunch time and I'm so tired I fall asleep.

    maybe its all the above.

    Maybe its frustration cause I can't sleep at night and fall asleep during the day and if I go back to work I need to sleep at night.

    Maybe its just maybe, maybe, maybe and I'm just nervous of moving forward.

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  • Posted

    Mrs J , you sound exactly how I was.

    I dreaded going to work, in case someything horrible happened to me, or moreso my children or partner, Fear like that does not go away , especially when things do happen. But you learn, that its never going to be as bad as you had anticipated, or imangined! But i am just like that , almost agrophibic, but I am not yet!

    Thats just being an anxious and worried person, Maybe? Or maybe a sign of intellect...or maybe just a sign that bad experiences have happened and that makes us feel insecure! (Stop... it! Concentrate!)

    Hopefully, going out will get better!!! I go for extremely long walks to try and get rid of these feelings. It helps me(sometimes).

    Its a bit like having the 'Sunday blues' all the time! Sorry, but thats how I feel.

    Mrs J , I was like that too with one of my managers , she knocked my confidence, ignored me, gave me rubbish jobs and then she would change, and be all nice and sweet. I did not know what to think, in the end I sussed her. (not a person to be trusted, and Im not the only one who thought so) Why are some people like that?

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  • Posted

    Hi Katy

    I think you do understand how I feel. I'm too nervous to do anything anymore. I never used to be like that when I was younger but life has worn me out. The manager at work is a bitch and most people there say so. Shes the sort that say nasty comments but can't take it if you say it to her. Can't understand people like that.

    I shouldn't worry about it but I don't want to give her the pleasure of upsetting me and the only sure way of doing that is not to return to work at the moment. Or toughen up and take a deep breath and go in.

    Where are you applying for the job and doing what?

    Its nice to here people moving on and getting the best of this disease.

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  • Posted

    Yes, its not nice having a boss like that! I found that I would get so upset after a shift at my work , that I would bring it home and be a horrible nasty bitch...like she was to me...then cry... i just wanted out!

    In the end, when mum etc got ill, i realised, that this pain in the neck was no longer worth it! I felt very angry at her behaviour, and then of course mine. I think , for me, having been stalked as a student etc, did not help...and my children are so young...leaving the house for that abuse, well, its not worth it!!!

    But, dont give up, I think your anger towards your boss, will make you stronger, its just she has her own problems... and probably well, that she cant cope with her job. Remember, thats not your fault, you sound like a better person than your manager. Dont worry , you will be, and soon you will get your energy and motivation back.

    Although, I am worried about starting afresh... I reckon there will always be bullies, but we just have to rise above it. Would you agree? I dont think I will ever be confident, like younger people though! But im not quitting I will win!

    Rest and rest and relax,,,dont think about that cow.Though easier said than done I expect!!

    Take care, Katy :lol:

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