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I had my monthly check up appointment with my Dr yesterday and she is happy with my progress and feels I am now ready to start reducing Cita. Albeit, very, very slowly and has for the moment signed me not fit for work for a further 3 months.
Myself and Ann (my Fiancee) who, again came with me although I was more than happy to go on my own had a good old heart to heart and reflection with the Dr. She, my Dr, reminded me how things were the day I finally accepted that I needed help, when I sat in her office and cried and cried wondering what was happening to me. Me a man, not a boy, of 58 years. Ex-serviceman, Father, Lover, a Transport Manager for a charity helping the community get to where they needed with no real support, who was sat in a Dr's office coming apart!
She related my progress, my feelings and how they eventually changed, my concerns, paranoia some of which I don't remember. In fact I look back at the early days on the forum and have to remind myself how bad it was when I read my posts and your wonderful life savinf replies. So, as I thanked my Dr and my Ann yesterday I must also thank you guys! Without whose help, advice, understanding and love I would not be the man here again today. The man that has not cried for 7 months (due to Cita inhibiting some of my emotions) who now sits here trying to type through watery eyes and is so grateful that I am better.
Whatever we believe, I do believe this forum and you guys are a Blessing and a big part in my recovery. I have to stop to wipe my eyes.
Wow! I forgot what it was like to cry and how good it can feel!
Let me say to you "newbees" out there keep the faith (whatever it is), keep taking the sticking plaster for the brain, keep posting however embarrassing or insignificant it may be; there are angels and you'll find some right here and they can help!
So, before I forget why I am posting I shall continue. My Dr wants me to try 40mg one day then 30mg the next and so on, alternating daily for two weeks. Then reduce, as I feel able, 40mg until I am ok with a daily dose of 30mg remembering I can cut tablets in half to adjust by 5mg up or down as I go. All being well she does not want to see my until beginning of September when, all going well, I will be down to 20mg, BUT no lower!
Dr Palmer is the best! (other Dr's are available of course for those that monitor - Hi you've been good too - Thanks!) but she is just amazing and saved my life!
I will keep posting my progress and helping where I can. I may one day be better, back to before what I had become, but one thiing for sure even if I do get better, I'll never leave you guys!
Thanks again (he said reaching for another box of Kleenex - knowing other tear tissues are available!).
Peace, Love & Blessings,
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