The reduction begins!

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Hi! everyone,

I had my monthly check up appointment with my Dr yesterday and she is happy with my progress and feels I am now ready to start reducing Cita. Albeit, very, very slowly and has for the moment signed me not fit for work for a further 3 months.

Myself and Ann (my Fiancee) who, again came with me although I was more than happy to go on my own had a good old heart to heart and reflection with the Dr. She, my Dr, reminded me how things were the day I finally accepted that I needed help, when I sat in her office and cried and cried wondering what was happening to me. Me a man, not a boy, of 58 years. Ex-serviceman, Father, Lover, a Transport Manager for a charity helping the community get to where they needed with no real support, who was sat in a Dr's office coming apart!

She related my progress, my feelings and how they eventually changed, my concerns, paranoia some of which I don't remember. In fact I look back at the early days on the forum and have to remind myself how bad it was when I read my posts and your wonderful life savinf replies. So, as I thanked my Dr and my Ann yesterday I must also thank you guys! Without whose help, advice, understanding and love I would not be the man here again today. The man that has not cried for 7 months (due to Cita inhibiting some of my emotions) who now sits here trying to type through watery eyes and is so grateful that I am better.

Whatever we believe, I do believe this forum and you guys are a Blessing and a big part in my recovery. I have to stop to wipe my eyes.

Wow! I forgot what it was like to cry and how good it can feel!

Let me say to you "newbees" out there keep the faith (whatever it is), keep taking the sticking plaster for the brain, keep posting however embarrassing or insignificant it may be; there are angels and you'll find some right here and they can help!

So, before I forget why I am posting I shall continue. My Dr wants me to try 40mg one day then 30mg the next and so on, alternating daily for two weeks. Then reduce, as I feel able, 40mg until I am ok with a daily dose of 30mg remembering I can cut tablets in half to adjust by 5mg up or down as I go. All being well she does not want to see my until beginning of September when, all going well, I will be down to 20mg, BUT no lower!

Dr Palmer is the best! (other Dr's are available of course for those that monitor - Hi you've been good too - Thanks!) but she is just amazing and saved my life!

I will keep posting my progress and helping where I can. I may one day be better, back to before what I had become, but one thiing for sure even if I do get better, I'll never leave you guys!

Thanks again (he said reaching for another box of Kleenex - knowing other tear tissues are available!).

Peace, Love & Blessings,


1 like, 12 replies


12 Replies

  • Posted

    What a wonderful place to be. Well done! I am sure you will be just fine. Let us know how you get along, and wishing you peace and happiness during this next part of you journey. 
  • Posted

    Hi David

    I've followed you from the beginning and am so pleased to see how far you've come and to now read of your wisdom of this illness and the journey through the medication.

    You've got a good doctor there, and that sounds a good programme to follow for withdrawal.

    It is emotional when you look back what you've been through.  I've done the same when I went through my journey, and am now doing it again with my son who's also come through the wringer and out the other side.  He's 21 in a few weeks, so lots of happy celebrations :-)

    Doesn't matter who you are, how affluent you are, how big or strong ... when this illness strikes, it'll keep you in it's clutches bring you to your knees, and no amount if begging and pleading with it, it won't let you go.

    Thank goodness for good doctors, family, friends, amazing medication and sites like this for support.

    Well done you!!

    K x

    • Posted

      Such truth in there Katy. I am an R/N, perfect life, and thought this stuff happened to other people. I have held many an anxious hand through a panic attacks in Casualty, given the IV drugs and shoved down the Ativan. Never dreamed that one day it would be me, because I am strong. This brought me to my knees. It gives me so much pleasure to read about people who have succeeded, and come out the other side smiling and filled with hope. Congrats on your son's 21, and I hope it is a cracker of a celebration. Love, Lee.
    • Posted

      Hi Lee

      Me too, I thought things like this would never happen to me (or my son), but they did.  I've heard people say 'oh I'd NEVER take anti-depressants, I'd learn to deal with it myself'.  My answer is always 'well I hope you never have to experience it, and if you do I hope you can deal with it ...... but, I think you may eat your words'.

      When it slapped me in the face I found it terrifying.  I'd wonder 'why me, what have I done to deserve this'.  Many, many dark frightening years later I was put onto SSRI's and I recovered!!  Couldn't believe it.

      I'm now kind of grateful for the experience (though I wouldn't have said that years ago), but it gave me an understanding which I was able to use to help my son.  It also gave me such an appreciation of life ..... and how I love life now :-)

      How are you doing?  Are you through it, or still persevering?

      Yes birthday celebrations ... both my children (3 yrs & 3 days apart) will be celebrating.  Lot of laughter this year!! :-)

      Many thanks

      K xxx

    • Posted

      Sounds wonderful Katy. I am starting up, and did 5 mg for a week and am on day 9 of 10 mg. A bit nauseous, although today did seem better, so I am hanging in and waiting for the feel good to come along. I am so glad things have worked out well for you, and your son is so lucky to have an understanding and supportive mom. You sure have lots to celebrate and I hope you enjoy the fun and laughter. Take care, Lee.
    • Posted

      Thanks Lee

      It took me around 3-4 months to start feeling good, some people take longer, some quicker.  Keep on persevering, have lots of patience and I'm sure they'll work for you too.  Your mood might be up and down too - always 3 steps forward and 2 back, until it all evens out.  Tough journey, but such a joy when you get there.  I remember the nausea well :-(

      Wishing you the best - everyone's here for you :-)

      K x


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