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Hi there, I've been meaning to post on here for quite some time but haven't got around to it as quite honestly, I haven't been on here.
Just to give you a brief backstory, this time last year, I was going through the worst period in my life. (Work stress,family illness, burning the candle etc) basically I was in total despair. I thought I'd lost myself and everything about myself that I'd previously taken pride in, my appearance, personality sense of humour. Depression and anxiety hit me so so hard and I spent a period of about 4 months a shadow of my former self.
I wasnin despair and came in here and posted several times and visited the doctor who prescribed me an anti depressant (Vito something I honestly forget)
I had what I can honestly say was the most challenging period I'd been through couldn't sleep, lost a stone and a half and seemed to exist in a diet of coffee and cigarettes. If I stayed at home I'd be restless but if I went out with friends, i was only so conscious that I couldn't be "me" and it was noticed by all.
My family found it tough and no matter how many times i tried to "pull myself together" it didn't work at all. Anyway the positive bit..
I never actually took the anti depressant as the general impression I got was that it could cause side effects that could make things much worse, I felt at the time that I was looking for a "magic" pill that would somehow erase my problems but in my heart if hearts I knew that would never be the case.
The nightmare ended literally the day my employment situation changed (I got a new job that instantly took away the pressure, stress and worry of unemployment) I had a bizarre feeling once the problem had been taken away of feeling numb but it was a nice feeling as the chaotic negative thoughts had stopped. I slept well, are well and within 3 weeks of changing my job, I was the old person I and so many people had missed.
The period of turmoil I went through did have a profound effect on me as I became fully aware of how fragile even the strongest of people can be if circumstances aren't kind to them and it taught me (during my low point) to appreciate all the good things I have in my life. To that extent, I've lived life to the full all year not worried about pettinesses and have enjoyed each day if ever feeling down, reminding me of the time a year ago when things were much much worse.
I'm not saying my depression was a good thing by any means but it's clearly true what they say that it does make you stronger once through it and I wanted to share with anyone who is interested the fact that things can and do get better.
I also believe that it's important to stress that I didn't take any of the prescribed medications and that my issues did literally go away the moment my circumstances improved. I know that this isn't the case for everyone but i for one believe that in many cases it's the cause of a problem that needs to be remedied rather than medicating ones self to unleash further problems.
The bottom line id like to say to anyone who felt how i did 12 months ago is that no you're not "going mad" everyone has their share of bad times (with varying degrees of intensity) and things do get better! No you don't need to pop pills if you know that the cause of your anxieties are and hopefully circumstances will be kind to you in order to resolve them.
Peace and love to everyone who needs it x
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