Things DO get better!

Posted , 6 users are following.

Hi there, I've been meaning to post on here for quite some time but haven't got around to it as quite honestly, I haven't been on here.

Just to give you a brief backstory, this time last year, I was going through the worst period in my life. (Work stress,family illness, burning the candle etc) basically I was in total despair. I thought I'd lost myself and everything about myself that I'd previously taken pride in, my appearance, personality sense of humour. Depression and anxiety hit me so so hard and I spent a period of about 4 months a shadow of my former self.

I wasnin despair and came in here and posted several times and visited the doctor who prescribed me an anti depressant (Vito something I honestly forget)

I had what I can honestly say was the most challenging period I'd been through couldn't sleep, lost a stone and a half and seemed to exist in a diet of coffee and cigarettes. If I stayed at home I'd be restless but if I went out with friends, i was only so conscious that I couldn't be "me" and it was noticed by all.

My family found it tough and no matter how many times i tried to "pull myself together" it didn't work at all. Anyway the positive bit..

I never actually took the anti depressant as the general impression I got was that it could cause side effects that could make things much worse, I felt at the time that I was looking for a "magic" pill that would somehow erase my problems but in my heart if hearts I knew that would never be the case.

The nightmare ended literally the day my employment situation changed (I got a new job that instantly took away the pressure, stress and worry of unemployment) I had a bizarre feeling once the problem had been taken away of feeling numb but it was a nice feeling as the chaotic negative thoughts had stopped. I slept well, are well and within 3 weeks of changing my job, I was the old person I and so many people had missed.

The period of turmoil I went through did have a profound effect on me as I became fully aware of how fragile even the strongest of people can be if circumstances aren't kind to them and it taught me (during my low point) to appreciate all the good things I have in my life. To that extent, I've lived life to the full all year not worried about pettinesses and have enjoyed each day if ever feeling down, reminding me of the time a year ago when things were much much worse.

I'm not saying my depression was a good thing by any means but it's clearly true what they say that it does make you stronger once through it and I wanted to share with anyone who is interested the fact that things can and do get better.

I also believe that it's important to stress that I didn't take any of the prescribed medications and that my issues did literally go away the moment my circumstances improved. I know that this isn't the case for everyone but i for one believe that in many cases it's the cause of a problem that needs to be remedied rather than medicating ones self to unleash further problems.

The bottom line id like to say to anyone who felt how i did 12 months ago is that no you're not "going mad" everyone has their share of bad times (with varying degrees of intensity) and things do get better! No you don't need to pop pills if you know that the cause of your anxieties are and hopefully circumstances will be kind to you in order to resolve them.

Peace and love to everyone who needs it x

3 likes, 9 replies

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9 Replies

  • Posted

    well said paul! awesome you are doing better. A change in circumstances can make all the difference in the world. I thought i was hopeless a few years back, but now I live in a nice home with peace and quiet. 
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  • Posted

    Hi Paul this was really inspirational! I am in college right now, about to start in nursing school, and I was wondering if you think that could be the cause of my slight depression? Do you think once I move on in my life (i.e. graduate and get a real job) that the depression and anxieties may subside? Just wondering your thoughts as i fear this won't go away. My workload is pretty stressful right now and won't be getting better anytme soon so it would be nice to have something to look forward to. smile 

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    • Posted

      Hi there,

      Stress isn't nice and I think looking back at my situation, the stress then caused my depression/anxiety.

      I couldn't sleep but was constantly tired and my appetite went out of the window (great if you need to lose weight but I didn't ) I'd hardly sleep, then didn't eat breakfast (I never do) but at lunch time literally couldn't chew anything then could hardly manage an evening meal. I can remember going out with friends one night and having to leave early to come home as was exhausted. I fell asleep, then woke up half an hour later and lay there all night chain smoking with everything going through my head.

      Exams/college are really stressful but as long as you're sure nursing is what you want, what you're going through now will be the key to a great future for you. You'll meet lots of new interesting friends/people and will hopefully be doing a job you love (which makes such a diffference in life)

      If I was you, I'd ask if the career is what you really want and if so, just try and get through the training and it will all be worth it believe me! If you're having doubts now, believe me there's nothing worse than being unhappy at work as it infiltrates all areas of your life and there's nothing unusual or shameful about changing your mind.

      Hope this has been some help but if there's one thing I can say hand on heart is that bad times do end and they then benefit your life as they make you appreciate the good times more than before when they come around again!

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  • Posted

    Hi Paul

    Thank you for your letter. So nice to hear such good out come when it was so black.

    I am so glad you where able to get through all of this without pills.I quite agree even 

    that you may enjoy your job it does bring a huge amount of stress. Even you may think so.I had depression for 6 years But I felt fine go to work each day. But it creeps up on you.Some days you just cannot cope with things then you blame yourself because you think you have failed.Then you start to have panic attacks.

    Thats when you know when  things are not good.

    For me I met a complete new person a Rehab locum Consultant. I gave her a really hard time. But I feeling a lot better. She listen to me.I also think that I would not admit that I had depression because I did not have the normal signs.I always 

    felt happy had a good home life plenty of friends loved my job. Please keep in touch. Lynne


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    • Posted

      Hi Lynne,

      Glad to hear you're feeling better. Having briefly experienced it last year, I now understand what an effect it can have on your life and family but can honestly say that I've never felt better/stronger. These things are sent to try us so they say wink

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  • Posted

    Hi Paul

    That was really womderful to go thru your bitter experience and how u came across...

    i stiil am going thru those condtion---i just dont know what is happening to me sometimes--would i do something wrong-all such thoughts --and irritation--currentli i have changed 3 to 4 antidepressant---no effect--almost 1.5 yrs...just hoping for the best

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    • Posted

      Sorry to hear that ;(

      I know what you're going through and I remember too well the negative thoughts that make you feel like you're submerged under water all the time. It's horrible.

      Tbh to me it sounds like your depression may be circumstancial like mine was and in that case, the meds may not work. In my case I was lucky as I was able to solve my problem very fortunately though had i not, I imagine I'd have been depressed still.

      Take a look at what you feel is wrong and try to remedy it as best you can. It might sound too simple and obviously I don't know why you're depressed but in my case, sorting out the issue that made me so unhappy was what caused my depression the disappear for good literally within a couple of weeks.

      Hope this happens to you too!

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