things I wish I had known

Posted , 4 users are following.


I have only recently come to this forum and have found so much reassurance and good advice. Thanks so much for sharing your experiences and advice. It is so good to know I am not alone.  

I have been wondering if there is a check list of things we wish we'd known before our op -  and if there isn't could we begin to compile one. 

Practical things like:

buying large knickers 2 sizes bigger than usual 

Ways of helping relieve constipation

questions to ask before surgery

Recovery advice.

If anyone would like to contribute I am sure it would be a benifit. 



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  • Posted

    Hi Jo and Everyone, 

    Having lost my husband following an incurable disease which lingered on for 7 years I was blessed by meeting up with a long lost friend of the family a short time later, and we started dating. We ended up marrying the following year. Suddenly after years of no sex and at the age of 67 - I was in a new relationship with a new man 8 years younger than myself. Suddenly I was not only madly in love again but having good sex. The thought of having an operation to repair a rectocele and a cystocele (front wall and back wall of the vagina) scared the heck out of me. What if my new husband went off me if I wasn't able to resume an active intimate life with him?  I was petrified of 'losing' my new man, and seriously thought of cancelling the procedure. Then I met my (lady) consultant/surgeon and was honest  with her  about my fears. She was so understanding and set my fears at rest. She explained the procedure she would be using and told me she would do 'a good job' for me and even tighten my perineum area too to make it all look "pretty and less saggy"!!  She added, normally for someone of my age ( at that time 69)  she wouldn't do this type of operation but she knew this was important to me. 

    Ten months later, all (so far) has been a great success and I consider myself to be so blessed.

    So I would say - if you still are active in the bedroom - do ask your consultant about that too. 

    With apologies if I am being rather 'personal' but this was one of the things I was really and truly concerned about. LadyPink


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    • Posted

      Thank you for sharing LadyPink, I am glad that you have found happiness and that everything is working well in the bedroom. 

      I am no where near wanting to continue our sexual relationship yet, but my consultant told me things below would be back to how they were pre children, so that's something to look forward to! 

      I have begun doing some simple kegel excercises - these should help strengthen things.

      thanks again LadyPink for your candor. 


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    • Posted

      I think you are amaing Lady Pink and lets face it all aspects of this Operation are rather Personal anyway. It has been very helpful to me reading this Forum and comparing notes with the Ladies who are at different stages of this Rectocele and Cystocele Operation I had mine done 11th July this year so still early stages I feel very lucky that i have had not too many problems and hardly any pain although I am still bleeding although that is easing off a bit now I saw my GP who wasnt concerned too much about the bleeding examined me and took a swab which was normal Thank goodness but I had a water infection which I am taking antibiotics for at the moment. But what does worry me is that I am leaking constantly and still have difficulty holding my water when I need to go although I can hold it for longer periods than I could before the Operation which is a plus. Can I ask you LadyPink did you have this problem at all and did it resolve itself ? Also do you think a Pelvic Floor exerciser would help me ? I am going to visit my GP again next week to see if the Infection has cleared up. I would be grateful for any advice from you or anyone else for that matter on this Forum who have had this leakage problem too.Thanks for your help.


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    • Posted

      Sorry Polly I pressed the wrong button oops!

      I was about to say, wait a bit longer and see how things settle with the leakage problem. It's still early days and of course if you have had an infection there, that wouldn't help. I only had occasional leaks in the first few weeks, especially when I sneezed or one time, when I was walking the dog and it was a particularly cold day I started to wee and found it difficult to stop. Now as time has gone on all seems fine with no further leaks - so far (touch wood). I did my pelvic floor excercises (when I remembered) plus I used my PelvicToner early on too, maybe that helped me too although I think  this type of exercising is really to strengthen the vaginal muscles, I'm not sure.

      My consultant said, IF I did have a problem with leakage I should return to see her and she would fit a 'tape' to the neck of the bladder to pull it together a little tighter. She said this would be done in their day clinic. See how things go, but things at least you know now that things can be done to put that right, so don't stay silent. 

      Chin up, all will be well but just take it steady for now. LadyPink

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    • Posted

      Oh Thank-you so much LadyPink that is really reassuring I wouldn't mind a day clinic job but don't fancy going in for the full Op again. I will see how i go on for a bit then. I am 73 by the way my Husband is 6 years younger than me! . You have really put my mind at rest and I'm really grateful must admit I was worrying a lot about my problem but am more optimistic after speaking to you. Thanks again for your support. Regards Polly
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