This is excruciating, please help me

Posted , 6 users are following.

I try to watch tv and listen to music to get the depression off my mind but it all feels like a chore now. All I can think about is how I feel. It's like my world has turned COMPLETELY inward. every day, all day  is spent analyzing how bad I feel and trying to think my way out. I have Facebook and I'll be scrolling looking at posts about people overcoming hardships in life and my depression/anxiety gets worse in that moment because I feel like I don't experience life like a normal person. My only hardship is my mind right now. And I hate that more than anything. I would love to have normal stressors in life but it's like I don't give a f**k about anything about how bad my mind is crippling me. As soon as I wake up, I make a point to check on how I'm feeling, and of course when I ask myself, my heart starts pounding and the cycle begins all over again and I'm depressed. I don't know if it is anxiety that is turning into depression or vice versa. I think I mentioned in another post of mine that my mental health only went downhill after I started taking Depo Provera... I'm not sure if that even matters, it's just odd how all of this happened after I took that stuff. I took 5 doses over the span of the last 2 years. The first emotional side effect I had from it back in 2015 was EXTREME anxiety. I have never experienced anything like it. And over the past 2 years it has turned into a dark, dark, soul crushing depression that I'm not sure I'll ever come out of. I have overanalysed what's wrong with me so much that it is ALL I think about, it is all I feel. Please tell me how to save myself? This is no life at all... I want to do things like lose weight, start taking care of my appearance, but my mind tells me those things won't matter if my mind is slowly deteriorating. I don't know wtf is wrong please help. 

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8 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi again Justina I am so sorry to hear how much you are suffering! Didn't you see a counselor for a while? Talk therapy did miracles for me in figuring out what was wrong and coming up with solutions for me and I got on antidepressants and I felt like a new person. My smile came back. Would you call a counselor? Will you get back to us? Diane

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    • Posted

      No, I never keep it up... I go once and stop. sad it's hard for me to go anywhere. My mind is getting so loud and I don't know what to do. I'm terrified I'm losing my mind. 

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  • Posted

    it sounds like you have depression which is caused by anxierty,you need to sort the anxierty out first,i recomend proponol,awsome medication help me the first day i took it,im only on 10mg twice a day but lets my mind and body relax,ask your doc 4 it and let me know how u get on

     

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  • Posted

    Hi I am sorry you are suffering so much.  I am a great believer in depression to help sort out your issues or at least to let you view them differently.  It is not a short term thing though and you won't benefit unless you keep on going.  It is not an easy option either as painful feelings are brought up and it can be distressing.  The medical help available is only meds and counselling unless you consider the more extreme methods such as ECT and hospitalisation.

    You can try the self help route such as mindfulness,  meditation,  yoga etc.  Good luck.  x

     

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  • Posted

    * sorry meant to say 'counselling' to sort out your issues.  x

     

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