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Ok so this may be long but please read everything.
So first off I have severe anxiety and it's getting out of control on how I feel. Now I want to stay a small back story first. I am 24 and my first huge anxiety or panic attack was when I was 13 years old. So roughly alittle more than 11 years I have had anxiety. Some years better than others.
Ok so now let's get into how I got here to where I feel like crap. Last year I decided to get off my medication cause it wasn't helping me (I have been on alot of medication since I first got my anxiety attacks). I was on alprazolam, gabapentin and imipramine. I was getting off of my medication from my psychiatrist so I didn't get off of it alone. I got off gabapentin and imipramine first which took a month and a half to get off. Now I am getting off alprazolam around December of last year and that is when I got worse.
So before I got off my medication I was able to go outside my house and do almost everything. I got my driver license when I was 18, graduated high school, when to college for 3 years. So I was able to do some things. Mind you I still got sick from anxiety but I was able to have a life.
Every now and then I got really bad where I would sweat like a pig, be nausea and eventually throw up. My hands would be numb and I would be unable to walk. I would need to lay down and sleep in order to get better.
Now back to last year December (sorry I'm skipping around). Since December of 2015 (it's now may 2016) I haven't left my house. It took me 3 months to fully get off of my medication (alprazolam). And let me say I am sooo scared that I will never get better to the point where I can have a semi normal life. I have anxiety and the symptoms 24/7 and I'm in bed most of the day. I barely eat I lost 15-20 pounds in 6 months. I'm sweating, it feels like when I stand the floor is moving, or it feels like someone is pushing me. I live with my mother so right now she is taking care of me and she is really stressed out and it's killing me as well. I throw up and since I don't eat alot I throw up stomach acid. I made an appointment to see my doctor and I went 2 days ago. That was the first time I left to go somewhere.
When I got to my doctors office of course my mom took me cause I can barely stand. When we arrived she got a wheelchair for me and when I got out of the car I almost cried telling my mom I can't do this. The whole time I did nothing but throw up and again it was stomach acid. Going there did nothing since my doctor just said go to the hospital which I have done or see a psychiatrist which I made an appointment to see but he isn't available till June 15th and it's may 6th.
I have some of the old medication in the house but I haven't taken it yet and I don't want to. I feel like I need to be on medication but not this medication cause it's to strong. Now I don't know what to do. I barely can just sit on my bed and watch tv. I need someone to help me or talk to me. It's also hard since my mom is gone most of the day and I have a dog so I have to be the eon to take him out and feed him. And in all this time I think what will or what if and I can't stop thinking that way. If I try to think positive it just becomes negative in some way. The worse thought I have is thinking I'm gonna feel like this for the rest of my life. So I need some reassurance or something to make me feel better.
Does anyone else ever feel this bad? PLEASE HELP!!!!!
P.S. I have done multiple test (MRI, Cat Scans etc...) Seen multiple doctors, therapist, psychiatrist. I have gone to a chiropractor and I have also done acupuncture. I have also gone to an ears nose and throught doctor. I have done alot of things in the past 11 years but no one seems to help me.
Again sorry this is so long and it could probably be longer but I didn't want you guys to read a book lol
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