This may help you

Posted , 4 users are following.

So, Ive suffered with depression previously. The it went away ( my first post in the depression forum)

I then had a bad 2 days when I had my time of the month.

ANYWAY

I have been reading a bok on metacognitive therapy and it really really helped me because it showed me how it was possible to seperate yourself from what's going on in your head.

I always wanted to push away my thoughts, or be angry at myself for having them, even worried I would act on some of them in future.

Being consumed by your mind it is difficult to not engage with thoughts and feelings. As a depressed person you usually spend hours looking over, analysing, thinking of situations, when will it get better ect.

STOP.

Your thoughts are just thoughts. They are not true or false, they can't predict the future, or change the past. If you keep digging, going over and over things you will not find the 'answer' You will not acheive anything by punishing yourself and you will not feel better by trying to make yourself feel worse.

Thoughts are just mental events that happen in your head, and by paying attention to them, you are giving them the stage in your mind.

Example: I once thought "I could just go and stand in the road and it will all be gone"

I then went on to worry I would actually do this, if i am having these thoughts I must be suicidal, if im suicidal I need professional help, Im going crazy, im so crazy i wont get better. I had feelings of hoplessness, despair, fear and deep deep sadness.

However, at the time if i had just realised that thoughts are just sentences that the mind churns out with no foundation on fact or future, I would have felt alot better. 

You cannot choose what you think but you can choose what you give your time and attention to.

Another helpful thing: postpone rumination/worrying. Postpone it until a later time, say 7pm at night for 10 minutes. In the day if you have thoughts of sadness tell yourself that you are not forgetting you are just postponing them until later. This will add some more control and routine to your life.

It may be hard at first, worry is a habit, but it is a habit you can break.

If you find that hard, why do you find it hard? Are you thinking that worrying may help you get out of this? It won't. If it did why has it not helped already? Worrying doesnt keep you safe, make you prepared. It destroys your happiness and makes you feel like there is no way out. Why would you want to carry that process on?

Depression in my mind, is just maldaptive coping mechanisms which give importance to negative thoughts and make you think that worrying will make it go away. 

Realise thoughts are just thoughts. The world seems sh*t because you are looking at it through the thoughts instead of seeing it for what it is.

Your mind is your choice and you do have control. 

Never ever give up on yourself and understand that you may not see success stories because people who get over it usually dont want to come back on here and remind themselves how bad it could be. Depression recovery is very real and very possible.

This is a temporary issue x 

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6 Replies

  • Posted

    This is a realllly amazing way of seeing and thinking about it all! Really, thank you! What was the book called that you read about metacognitive therapy?

    This has really helped actually, i will definitely be referring abck to everything that you've said to try and improve my way of thinking and being :-)

    it means a lot, thank you!

    xx

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    • Posted

      You are very welcome. I used to come on here and other forums and worry I wouldnt get better because nobody ever had a sucess to speak of so it means so much to me to tell people you really can, like you have done, and maybe help people to see things in a different light. The book is metacognitive therapy for anxiety and depression adrian wells. Its got a lot of information about other things such as PTSD, OCD which was also really interesting.

      I keep it by my bed and the thing is my bible haha!! 

      xx 

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  • Posted

    Hi sarah I have just been writing down your words because I think they are very true I'm going to practice this way of thinking because when I think back 30 years this is the time I have been a deep thinker and worrier and I can honestly say my worrying has never solved my problems /issues. I have always been the type of person who can see the worst scenario ahead of me and many times I have been correct but I still havnt been able to stop it happening it just makes my worrying periods much longer, when my son was 12 there was a lot of talk about drugs and other nasty habits so I permanently had this feeling of foreboding that these things were going to affect my family I tried my best to keep him safe and informed about choices he might be faced with, but it did not make any difference he got involved so deeply and still is till this day and he's 39 now he's spent much of his life in prison over 20 years on and off which has caused me deep depression and sadness over the years and still does but with all my worrying I couldn't change a thing it's sad but in my head I have said goodbye to him many times but someone up there is keeping watch over him for me until his mind becomes his own. Sorry to go on but just wanted to say I will try my best with your suggestions and try to learn not to pre think to much before the events

    kind regards

    sue

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    • Posted

      Hi Sue, 

      It would be easy to say that you obviously now have a readon t be anxious or unhappy about the situation your son has found himself in.

      The best advice I could give to you is that nomatter what thoughts you have of it and of him, you can allow them thoughts to just pass. You don't have to engage with them. You can choose to encourage happier thoughts instead.

      Worrying and foreboding has probably been reinforced by the fact that what you thought would happen, did. But this does not mean that everything you worry about will end up happening. You are right that worrying has never solved your problems. It just robs you of your happiness. 

      I hope you find your peace with it xx

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