Those who know first hand please help me!!
Posted , 8 users are following.
Hi, ive been reading through your experiences etc and need some advic epelase.....ive been getting very depressed and angry with so much in the world. I want to sleep and not wake up from my head thinking and thinking all the time. I cant sleep, i get confused and cant make decissions as they get me in a muddle and i end up getting head ache and anxious.
Im a mess, reading too too much into everything and its driving me mad. Im pushing peopel away that mean the world and i dont know what to do.
Ive been couselling 3 years ago....no help, and didnt take the anti d's that were prescribed. Listening to peple on them and taking peoples advice now i went started counselling gaian today and got prescribed....errr Citalopram. Its in front of me. Before i take it i feel that i cant handle anymore thoughts and mental pain worse than i feel already.
Do i take it?.....Any advice on pro's or cons?? Please
0 likes, 200 replies
John_H
Posted
Lou123
Posted
My problem too is thinking too much, I can think for England..I used to have to sleep with the tv on so that my mind would have something to concentrate on..what you need to be aware of that your demons are only chemical imbalances in the brain, your not a werido and your not as alienated as you feel, we are dealing with chemicals here in our brains which have got out of control. When you take these tablets its amazing how they actually begin to block out the over-analysing, you just accept things for what they are. My depression is so complex...on my high days im very high on my lows im sensitive to temperature, sounds, people, happy people- they make me even worse, past relationships not being satisfied with the now and always wanting more. My depression comes through like a horrible storm of impatience and everyone and everything in the bigger picture is my enemy. What citalopram does is help sort the balance out and I can honestly say that for me so far after 6 weeks its helping me feel back to myself. So try them and see.
Although alcoholic drink is not great, it can set you back and then you feel worse for feeling sh*t again so try to avoid it.
'reading to much into everything' drives me mad too so what I have done is started tai chi. It really does help and forces you to focus on breathing, gets you out of the house and speaking to people you never would do, who are the best because they are not work, not mates and not byast- it also gives you inner strength which at this time is crucial. It also helps you sleep better- sleeping is part of the vicious circle but it gets better.
Take each day as it comes, tell your close ones about it but dont try to explain it too much because you will only get frustrated that they dont understand, just let them know you have this and are sorting it. Being on the tablets does infact make you more aware of how you treat people.
I hope this helps you a bit and be prepared for some ups and downs but know that these tablets will help if you stick with it and theres plenty of life out there for you no matter how down you feel right now. Just do the things that make you happy on the inside, start to pay attention to yourself and imbrace the small things you like and do them) and you will start to radiate some happy vibes outside, this is such a common thing just be strong enough to know that you can beat it, because you really can : )
x
Guest
Posted
People out there have real problems....my insecurities about life, where im going and scared of change....because i think about it so so much and fear it so much...it makes me depressed...or does it make me depressed? I sit my brain saying im getting down or have i got it in my head that im depressed in which case im in a downward spiral.
I really appreciate your responses....any answers a helpful. I know that too many peoples points of view can cloud a decision but ive never looked to those with the problem before for an answer. I nned toi be sure before i start taking this drug.
The doc didnt really question me...thats why im so unsure about what they prescribed.
I cant just get on with things...i wake up and think all the time, im lost in my own thoughts and ccnat wait to sleep so i can just relax.
Are any of these thoughts or symptoms what anyone else has thought of or gone through?
Lou123
Posted
Guest
Posted
Lou123
Posted
It all may feel sh*t now but you have no idea whats going to happen and learning to appreciate this and focus on the moment rather than worrying about the past and present is key. Im good at talking just not always listening to my own advice. The future is only a thought it doesnt exist yet so whatever bad things you think are going to happen wont and the past is only a set of memories, depression confuses them all and trys to force you to work it all out, you dont need to- be strong with it because once you come out of dealing with your own emotions you will feel stronger than ever, not a lot of people can say that.
x
Guest
Posted
Guest
Posted
Like you I lost everything. My 2 children. house and financial security. I now live in a council flat and have remarried.
The flat is a secure place to live and I can decorate it and nearly do as I like. I was never allowed before and the nice big house never felt like home. My husband is wonderful. I love him so much more than the controlling bully I was with before. He has supported me through all of this and I couldn't ask for more of a person. Sounds good don't it. The only problem is I feel like he's too good and I will lose him and be alone again and then I feel like I won't be able to pay all my bills and will have to give up my little flat and move into shared house . I can always find something to worry about and these thoughts drive me mad. I have it good right now and with taking these pills its helping me see what I've got and not worry about something in the future that proberly won't happen.
I can worry about bird flu and how its going to effected the price of xmas turkey. I can worry bout the car MOT thats due next year. All these things are in the furture and may not ever happen. I've been taking citalopram since 15 october and now starting to feel better. they do take a while but you end up feeling more relaxed about day to day situations.
We are all in the same boat on this site and we all try to help each other. Stick with it and things will improve.
x
Guest
Posted
I apologise for not replying...have been in meetings. I find satying busy really helps control my thoughts. If im busy i dont think as much about other stuff but its when im alone my midn runs away...thinking the worst about life, where ill be and if ill be alone. Thats such a scary thought but you always think its gona happen to you or the positives will never happen to you.
I never realised feeling this way was such a common thing...horrible to say that it makes me feel i can reach out and talk to someone that dont actually think im wierd, people who understand the waffle coming from my mind and can translate it in to how its making me think and feel.
Does anyone get good days when they are flying?....I do and peoaple cant believe it...'They say 'whats up with you'....but then the next day ill be so low...its almost not worth being given the experienece of a stress free day to me and i think why dont this world just swallow me up and save me teh head and heart ache.
The OCD thing is something i didnt really know was a problem....it comes and goes in diferent strengths. I use to leave home, make sure i locked the door then go back 10 minutes later whilst deciding i didnrt really check it properly...or all my remote controls have to be next to each otehr in size order facing the tv....or my bed HAS to be made and the laods of stupid stuff....is that the sort of stuff you mean?
I also talk to myself...its like im acting scenarios out with myself to see my reaction to peoples comments or answers..... im trying to make sure i know what to say, to make sure im not wrong and to make sure ive covered myself....Think think think.....never relax. Can you remember the last time you just lay there content...i cant. I want that so much but i dont think having read stuff on Cy'Pan that is the thing for me....just becuase im not anxious.
The only time im anxious is when im argueing with my partner. I hate it. I want to go away and never return and run from life. The rat race....its not that i dont like working, just i see the world differently, people grafting, looking the part wanting to talk the part but its not them....its not the real person they are and its the hate for that that im lost in my own world as i dont know who i am or what i want to be and so i keep thinking and thinking and thinking that im the one whose got it all wrong...but i cant be convinced. I just want to be happy without thought....
Im sorry to waffle on but telling how i feel to people that seem to have answers instead of someone in a chair looking at me, having never experienced what we think and feel telling me they cant give me answers is not what i consider couselling to be. Its just beeen a place i can go and cry and not lie to cover things up ... to just let it out.
Im sorry you guys have lost children and loved ones. .... I hope it doesnt happen to me but i know im pushing those i care about away and i cant change the way im thinking.
Has anyone tried any other anti depressive drug and what did you think? How do you lot get your partners to understand and see your points of view and thoughts? Was it your continuous arguing or the questions you always had that drove yourselves appart? If you dont want to tell me then i underestand...i just want to relate and make sure i try and get this undercontrol so i can see when im doing wrong....or can you not see it? Liek i said yesterday, i just see myslef as right but lost in my world and dont see other points of view and if they do have one...i feel they cant see mine and then question my own sanity...but im not mad....i just have an over active mind which i need to control and slow down.
Im sorry for going on, so many questions to ask and i need answers and cant talk to anyone else.
Thanks x
Guest
Posted
Guest
Posted
Your lucky to have a family...they wont suffer as long as you are there for them...to help them when they need and to answer their questions. You will move on and so will I...its just ahrd to believe it at the moment and i just want to run and live a strewss free life.
The circles vicious.....think think think...get drpressed...think think think....feel depressed.....question question question......what if, when, how, which, why, maybe....thgink think....does my nut in and give sme headaches.
20mg huh?........has it got better?
I just spoke to my pal......she pushe dme forward and gave me confidence to see doc again about it. I still havent taken it though....so unsure but she said that i should. How did you feel before you took it...was you really bad or what? How did things change?.......Do you still work? ....Do you feel like you cant speak to people or go out?.....
Me, i hate being alone.....cant sleep when im alone,......get hoem and i go straight out as hate my own company...;...cant relax and watch a dvd or tv,.....id say the only time im not in thought is when i play football.......its the only time.....and now my leg is buggered i cant even do that.
Hope you feel better JA, stay confident, think 'things will be ok.....think positives' i know its easier said and i cant do it so why im saying it is beyond me but what else can one say.....the confort is your not alone out there .... your not the only one going through it.
Guest
Posted
Lou123
Posted
Forever im telling my mates, I feel weird and evil and then I cry on my low days, they just accept it and try and encourage me but on high days we can chat about anything because ive learnt that however much in my head i feel it, its not about me all the time. Taking this citalopram everything feels like its balancing out and any bad things that I want to think about dont come to the surface.
The thinking is weird though, as soon as I get up im talking to myself in my head but once you have things in your week to do it reduces somewhat. Please look into tai chi. It gives you techniques to calm down and makes you think of your breathing rather than your day, makes you think about your body rather than phone bills, didnt think it would work because im a hetic so and so but it really does once you let it, you've got to let the things around you and on offer to you stimulate you and make you aware that you are a person who deserves a chance just like everyone else.
Guest
Posted
Guest
Posted
The confidence thing too...my pals think oh my god sooooooo confident...oh no...once they really get to know me they cant believe it....i talk about it more with everyone now coz i cant hide my thoughts and i think talking in some sense makes things worse as too many peoples opinions cloud my judgement and just give me more to talk about and especially think about.
My pal says she reckons it can take 3-6 months for this stuff to really work...is that true. Shes on ammotriptalin.....she really reckons i should take the ciltalopram..im still dubious because i have just got it in my head that is for people who have gone wonkey up top but alot of the stuff you and JA and others have said seem the sam ethings i go through. I dont care being different..i carew about not thinking so much and having such depressive days.
Can i ask you both...what age bracket you in?.......im in 20's......it all started when i was about 19 id say...i began hating the world and wanting like Lou said to be the best at everything...the way i looked, strongest in the gym, best figure, wittyest etc etc...boring boring. But i cant get that out my system. I enjoy training and competing in everything in life but i wouldnt call it a prblem....its only a problem because my head makes me feel dfown as im always judging myself for it.
JA keep your head up....your young and will have laods of opportunities in life ahead of you....its these hard times we need people...good people aroudn who umnderstand. These groups have really helped m,e the last 2 days.....i didnt even know they existed....coem across it by accident. Keep talking, if its good for you then let it out.
Someone asked me what i enjoy doing today....i had to stop and think....i think if you can find what it is you really enjoy then do it more....even if you aint working then do it to keep your mind busy.
Meeting new people like lou said scares me. i dont like meeting new poeple....change worries me but the logic seems right Lou...if you get good conversation and can make something from it then a new group is a good idea.....but what if you cant find a group or havent got the courage to join a new group...thats what makes this internet chatroom experience so easy.....becuase you dont have inhabitions about what people think....you cant see what their eyes are saying about what you have to say without opening their mouths.
Either way its just my mind thinking and my fingers twitching so ill shut up. Thanks for the advice.... I think your ideas are definately worth a go. What harm can it do.
Does anyone know any other anty d's that have worked that i could ask doc about tomorrow morning? I wana have an iidea on different stuff before i put these in my month for the next 6 months.... I just dont know how they can prescribed so easily without asking me more than 3 questions.