Thoughts of death and suicide

Hi Liz

this is a difficult one sometimes it helps to talk about the thoughts you are having, they may sound crazy but as i know they are very real to you. I think that suicide is a choice not a destiny. Are you on any meds for your depression/anxiety? .Have you anyone for support.? When you are on a waiting list it can seem an age until you get there.

I promise you probably will never act on these thoughts, but i fully understand how difficult they are sweetheart. I can offer you support though this site and share the thoughts i get (you'll think i.am mad) a little lighthearted there but i do know what you are going through Lots of love and hugs xx

Practically everybody who suffers from depression thinks about death and suicide. It goes with the territory! But these are just insubstantial thoughts that change all the time. It doesn't mean we have to act on them!. I write the crazy thoughts down. It helps me to see them from a more neutral perspective. Also, you find patterns. Everytime I'm depressed or anxious it's the same old thoughts that go round and round. They become very boring after a while. I have thought I was suicidal (or at least didn't want to live anymore) many hundreds of times now (as well as thinking I was going to die!) and nothings happened yet! I know they are disturbing and uncomfortable but they cannot hurt you. They are only thoughts. I find meditation works. The little voice in your head that tells you all this garbage is not your friend! It is the voice of depression, not you! Try not to worry about it. You will come to no harm.

It is true that all of us will die, there is no escaping that fact. So the question becomes how am I going to face that death. I can either huddle in a corner, sobbing and crying and spend the rest of my life in misery or I can try to make the best of a bad job and squeeze out as much enjoyment as I can from life in the time I have left. Life is hard, but it also has moments of magic. The sky at night is black but it is still filled with stars.

Hi LL and All, when you need someone to talk to I can recommend the Samaritons ( 08457 909090 ). D.

Thank you very much for your replies I really appreciate it. Its funny you should say that athol as it is true that it appears to be the same thoughts going round and round. When I first started experiencing panic attacks I thought I was going to die as I was having a heart attack a stroke etc etc then that changed to I am going crazy I am going to start hallucinating or I am loosing grip of reality. It truly is horrible what your head does to youand now its that I have this feeling im going to die and the suicidal thoughts etc. Though today im back on the whole im loosing the plot thing and I am not getting better and also a new one, my friends and family think ive lost the plot that im mad and weird. Its an awful illness. I dont want to die im scared of dying but I thibk its just the im so fed up its not getting any better, impending doom feelings that make you so down and sometimes it's almost as if my mind feels fragile if that makes sense? I feel like im going to have a breakdown any minute, which thinking about it, is probably just the same silly thoughts as "im going to die" claire thank you very much for your lovely reply. I wouldn't think you were mad at all it would be great for you to share as I really find that support is such a great help. In response to your questions I am on meds, propranolol for the anxiety and citalopram for the depression ans the cbt place phoned only the other day to say it will be between 6-11 weeks its such a long time im meant to be going back to work after next week as I am on sick at the moment due to the anxiety but I am absolutely dreading it. I was hoping id be having therapy by then! Xx

Dear LL, You may have heard this from other people but praying to God might help. We are

all going to die but for me it's not the end. None of us wants to die but it's our destiny. Concentrate on

getting better and as athol wrote "squeeze out as much enjoyment from life" as you can. Forgive me for

sounding "preachy" but make yourself think of the people suffering from starvation, acts of terrorism, and

fatal diseases and say to yourself, "I'm OK. I'm in a safe place - no bombs going off around me; I don't have stage 4 cancer, and there's food in my fridge. It might help to think of the positives in your life. Believe me

we are all scared deep down inside and getting over those fears is not easy. I know. I'm 86 years old and

death is closer to me than to all the younger people in the world. Please know you're in my thoughts and

prayers. I wish you well dear loopliz. I want to think of you as "happyliz".X's & O's.

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