Tired of all - tired of miself

Hello guys,

I do not know how exactly I landed on this site but after reading some of your topics I have to say that I see myself in a lot of you.

Is that a good thing or a bad one?!??

Let me describe my situation so that you have a better picture (and in case you are wondering to whom am I writing ... well it is to you, the person that will read this)

My problems started some time ago, about 9 years ago when I got hit by the first problem in my life, my wife cheated on me and later on left me due to the fact that her ex great love decided to give her a chance after dumping her ass some years before.

Now not the event was important but the way it made me feel... like s**t.

I was deeply hurt, ashamed of my situation and constantly trying to find out if I did something wrong or if it was my fault in all of this.

I consumed myself over this question for a couple of years even though I never got an answer .....

Now fast forward to a couple of years ago I made some friends that were a little bit more different but due to lack of friends I accepted them.

They used to smoke week and try some other s***s also but the only thing they got me to try was weed.

After one year of consuming weed on a daily basis I noticed that I was becoming more paranoid so just decided to quit it for good, but not before I would try a hash brownie...

I had the worst panic atack ever and ever since I am dealing with anxiaty issues.

I did some treatments with different pills and I admit they are good, they make you normal again but they have sidefects also like penis will not erect and you gain weight from the pills because they also give you an appetite for food.

Now after like an year I quit them but it seems that the feelings come back from time to time the only difference is that I choose to fight it without pills....

As a final blow to me, my mental health and sanity, my beloved mother passed away not long now. The only person that was keeping me focused and sane is now gone. Now I have nobody, I am all alone and scared.

As another guy from this forum wrote: “I am just tiderd of it all”, so too I feal the same.

I am tired of it all ... there, I said it !!!

Tired of feeling like I am doing nothing important for humanity, tired of this anxiety, tired of being scared, tired of not having friends, tired of me, tired of everything

Even tired of finishing this let.....

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