TKR & the affects on psychological health
Posted , 13 users are following.
One subject we haven't touched on yet is the impact TKR has on our mental health.
It can take away, even if temporarily, our independence & our dignity!
I must admit to feeling that I was a burden to my husband in the first month, probably, after TKR. I feel that for most women, who have worked all their lives, cared for the home & family, the robbing of independence is up there with the pain in making this recovery hard (dignity goes when you have babies!!). Yes it IS usually temporary but can last for a long time as we have heard. Post op depression is real, but tends to be pushed to one side. Should we be given more information & help to deal with the issues depression brings? In none of the literature I was given did it mention how I may FEEL in myself after TKR. Should it have been?
That isn't to say men don't find this hard too, but given the role women have in the home, as generally speaking the main carer for the family, it is hard to accept the role reversal.
Do you think women are more prone to feeling like this or are men, who are the 'hunter gatherers' usually hard at work all week, the ones who are more affected due to being unable to escape the home for the office?
Has this affected you? Or do you think it nonsense?
2 likes, 43 replies
ellen57898 marilyn10235
Posted
chris00938 ellen57898
Posted
I wonder if the key here is just how supportive and willing a husband/wife is? Mine was happy to do ANYTHING but I know he's looking forward to the time when I can do more, so we can do more together.
cheryl90571 chris00938
Posted
While having support is REALLY a safety thing in those early weeks and very helpful going forward into recovery, I think POSITIVE THINKING and FAITH that all will be well are the most important things. Believing in yourself and being patient make recovery do-able because you are listening to your body and acknowledging that you have been through a real trauma YET will recover eventually.
Each new thing that I could do again for myself made me want to do more. ( I felt like a two-year-old saying, " No! I will do it MYSELF!"
👶
chris00938 cheryl90571
Posted
YES YES YES! Each new thing is to be grasped and celebrated! I was SO chuffed, the first time I made us both a cup of tea!:-))))))
I think also, we need to have faith in our doctors! At a time when I thought I might have impingement - searing cramping pain at the back of the knee when I pushed the bend to 115 at three weeks, I panicked at first, but then calmed down to think 'well if it is that, 'they' WILL put it right. It will delay my recovery but I'll still get there in the end', so it became 'not my problem', and that's how I tend to think of surgery. People asked me 'are you worried about the operation?' No - I'm not doing it LOL! That's one thing I DON'T need to worry about LOL!
cheryl90571 chris00938
Posted
Yes, having that positive feeling and confidence in the surgeon is paramount in setting everything in motion! Sounds like you were as GO-GO-GO as I was to GET IT DONE and STOP THE PAIN!!!👍👍
Sure, LOTS of things CAN go wrong! It is a very complicated surgery with many body systems being involved. When you think about it we as patients are putting an EXTREME amount of faith and trust in our surgeon! For me, that's where GOD played the biggest part. My surgeon and I talked about being believers and how WE BOTH prayed before surgery. There's this wonderful painting of a patient on an operating table with the surgeon poised and ready to operate. Guiding the surgeon's hand is Jesus, standing RIGHT THERE beside the surgeon.
I was so moved by this painting that I did a screen shot of it, printed it out, framed it, and took it to my surgeon at my first checkup. Do you know what he said when he looked at it? He said, " Yes, it's JUST LIKE THAT!"
FAITH...Stronger power than we can ever imagine!??
chris00938 cheryl90571
Posted
Oh Cheryl, that's so amazing about your surgeon. You obviously got to know him much more than I got to know mine. But that is so lovely!!!! I think our faith also has to encompass that we might have difficulties, but that whatever happens, we'll be able to cope with it. It WILL be taken care of somehow. But having said that, I'm still going into this again, with the attitude of 'it's going to be fine'. In my opinion (maybe wrongly!) that is the best attitude to go into an operation with - and then cope with any difficulties as they arise, but to go into an operation expecting the worst - I don't see the point of. But that's just my feelings:-)
cheryl90571 chris00938
Posted
Oh YES! We KNOW not everything will be perfect. This world isn't perfect, and WE aren't either! What IS perfect is God's love for us. He is there WITH us in happy times and in sad times. He doesn't promise that all things will be easy, but He DOES promise that He will be RIGHT THERE to support us. That is all I need!😄
When I put myself in God's hands before my surgery I felt an INCREDIBLE calm. It was wonderful.
Wishing that same sense of peace for you and for everyone heading into surgery#1 or surgery #2 (and all additional surgeries!)😁
chris00938 cheryl90571
Posted
june68495 marilyn10235
Posted
So glad you brought this up! I had my Tkr Dec 13 2016. I felt depressed for 4 months!!
No one talked about this prior to surgery and it was not talked about in the pre-op class that I took.
It was partly caused by the sting pain med that I was on and secondly from the loss of independace!
This subject should be one that your surgeon talks to you about!
Scary when you feel so alone but there are caring people around you!! My husband took such great care of me, but I was always crying and feeling helpless because I couldn't do all my everyday work !!
The surgeon just pushed it aside he was just there to take care of surgery. Related things
I finally got help from my primary care doctor and now at 5 months I feel mentally well and my Tkr recovery is almost perfect!!
I feel the mental factor can really slow down the physical recovery after Tkr and should be addressed as soon as it roars its ugly head!!
If you have this issue keep badgering your doctors because it does need to be addressed for you to move forward with your Tkr!
Blessing , happiness and good health to everyone!!
marilyn10235
Posted
It isn't a problem to me now. If I'm honest it was in the first two weeks & temporary. I think it only lasted 2 or 3 days at most. I was already being treated for depression but never considered myself depressed! It was as I sat there alone, my husband out doing something, I just thought why oh why did allow myself to be butchered like this. I can see things that need doing & try as I may I cannot do them!
This was a horrible feeling as I am normally the support for everyone else! I am a positive person deffo glass 1/2 full. But for those 2 or 3 days I was in a place I'd never ever been before! And haven't since! I usually find the good in any situation so this felt very dark! Thankfully it didn't last & I do not want to go there again!
Modern medicine & surgery treats symptoms, not the body as a whole. If you look at Ancient Eastern medicines such as Acupuncture & Ayurveda, its the body as a whole (Ayurveda its mind & body) which is investigated. Not just a set of symptoms.
I will have the other knee done ASAP but am prepared now for how I will feel after! If I can understand it I can deal with it! I did not understand at the beginning of this TKR journey, I've got it sussed now I think?!
I have had 7 operations within the last 10 years not counting the TKR & none of them left me feeling this way!
CHICO_MARX marilyn10235
Posted
For your consideration...
https://patient.info/forums/discuss/tkr-and-ptsd-569521
Guest marilyn10235
Posted
When i first got on this site, I brought this up calling it an emotional roller coaster. Fighting the physical was bad enough but the mental road was tougher rt lack of sleep and pain. Definitely was never discussed. I correlate it to a PTSD. IF youre doing great and get set backs, i found myself holding my breath. At first no, but as work got pushed back further and advances were altered, it made me feel like "what now". As Cheryl pointed out, God's grace was my strength time and again. His plan,not mine. Otherwise I'd feel anger and frustration.
Ive pretty much come to the conclusion that they intentionally leave ALL this teaching out. You get the surgery because there are no choices left in your mobility so once you're hacked(sorry), they realize you have NO CHOICE but to get on with life,
which, we all seem to do. BUT, the associated trauma is very rough on many people. This forum has shown when we know were NOT ALONE, we're not crazy and much of what we experience is part of recovery.
I feel people who need knee replacements who have managed to function and carry on, despite RA/OA , are a special breed of superheroes. What strength! What fortitude! What desire to LIVE vs just exist! Knee surgery isnt for ninnies!
And then, despite what we may FEEL, we put on our clothes, do our exercises and push on to find out what else can we do to get better even though we may still be having painor limitations. I am thankful for walking again but as others have pointed out THE OUTSIDE WORLD sees that and a healed scar and thinks you're milking sympathy. "You seem to be walking just fine" is my common statement.
But can you take a tub bath? Can you get out of a chair (or off a toilet seat)wo arms? Can you play on the floor w your kids/grandkids? Can you garden or pray on your knees? Can you carry your groceries in? The list is endless...
SUPERHEROES we are because we find a way despite our pain and limitations!!! Kuddos to us!
chris00938 Guest
Posted
I am wondering if they don't tell us about this aspect because it might not happen. There are so many physical issues that aren't covered too and I wonder if that's because they haven't got enough paper to cover it all on info leaflets or it's missed because so many won't experience it. I don't know - maybe they think if they include depression, it might make more depressed! Just trying to think of it from both angles.
My experience has been different - going to my local supermarket people have often asked how it's going and I've told them how good it is - I've not had the experience of people expecting me to be better than I've been - but the opposite really. But thereagain, just maybe it's because I did sail through it, so who knows!!!!
You're right though - at the end of the day I decided to have the ops because there was no choice! There was nothing left to lose!
CHICO_MARX Guest
Posted
Can you put on your socks? Cut your toenails? Aaaahhh!!!!!!
I was lucky (unlucky?). Had my hip replaced in '09 so I encountered the Post-Op Depression and kicked its a$$; so when it happened again, I kicked it again. Not easy for people who encounter it for the first time.
Then come the things you used to do but can't...at least not just jet. None of us were ever told that this is the most brutal and time consuming surgery of them all...plus add in all the limitations that you have to just get past over time. I've had 28 operations (mostly minor) in 17 years and I thought I'd skate through this one too...WRONG!!!!! This is all one day at a time for 365 days...period. There are no shortcust...there is no "skating". It's just hard work physically, mentally and spiritually. Only the strong survive intact and become better for it. The remainder sit in their Barcoloungers and wait to die. I WILL NOT BE one of the latter...period!!!
Guest chris00938
Posted
Chris,
Of course they cant put it ALL in a leaflet. Just look at the quantity of words that appear w just ONE of your questions. Look at tv ads now when they take about "you may experience".
My 1st 24hrs after surgery i had NO SWELLING OR PAIN. I walked the whole ward and then to another floor. Well, 24hrs later, blood vessels ruptures (veins) and pain n swelling started. And i understood what people were saying.
There is a huge difference between negative,derogatory scare tactics and "hey,this happened to me and I'm going to get thru it"i wouldnt wish the bad side effects of knee surgery on anyone. The gap to POST OP CARE is sooooo great that i put together a paper to highlight common post op difficulties and offered to set up a support group. I gave it to the hospital administrator, my surgeon and the teacher of the preop class. There are stroke groups,heart groups, lung groups and even AA for goodness sake! Can you imagine if this forum wasnt around and you had no one to talk to?? A year of recovery and you're on your own? Your anxiety was palpable as you found new concerns and your relief was just as palpable after a discussion.
Look how many people Chico has helped. Sometimes more negative than I'd like, but hes been to hell n back and still is trying to help people. Old fat guy blows me away with his tenacity and endurance.
The best thing about blogs is there is always a choice NOT to read them. I didnt for a while because it felt so negative. Then i changed MY view. I saw Marilyn, and so many others, STRENGTH!
The one guy who said 19 1/2yrs later he's doing fine. What hope! I realized, too, that my complications gave me a better perspective to help than if nothing had happened.
Sorry for my rant. We all have helped each other so much. Like a strange kind of family we have let each other see a piece of our lives and given each other a hand up. I volunteered as an assistant crew leader to build hiking trails b4 the surgery. It was there that i learned, a bunch of people with various broken body parts , could come together and build an amazing thing from scratch. Only possible by team work! Thats this forum to me.
Hope.
chris00938 Guest
Posted
I've no argument with that:-) Yes, it IS helpful to hear on here of what can happen, especially to those who are experiencing it! Yes, you are SO right about my anxieties! Did you think I was implying that the more difficult side shouldn't be expressed on a group? No - just saying that I think it's good that it's balanced by those who don't have a difficut time:-) I'm sorry, but I'm not sure I'm getting the point that you're making??????
jenny80029 Guest
Posted
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Roller coaster is a perfect description!
The royal college of surgeons website is good and there is so much information around..
I agree with you onn many points, and I wouldn't expect there to be much on depression post op. The reality
For many people is that to get to the point of wanting a TKR, they are
Already suffering emotionally and psychologically from disability and pain. Life has shrunk. The challenge post
Op is to be able to continue and wait for the rewards when they come. It's not a simple before and after scenario...
The endurance needed is a great challenge, and like the bones of the knee joint, many people are already pretty worn down by their knees before they even have the surgery!
cheryl90571 Guest
Posted
I LOVE your post!😁
Yes, we ARE SUPERHEROES! I LOVE thinking of myself like that!
You are DEFINITELY right about finding a way to do things DESPITE all the pain!
Thanks for your great pep-talk post!
(Heading now to put on my CAPE!!!)
😁?????😁?????😁
Guest chris00938
Posted
Chris,
Sorry my point wasnt clear but i thought i said that balance was good! Pointing out that as you read the forum, its ALL the stories that become helpful. Give hope.
Its ALL the questions and topics, when presented, are best answered by the people experiencing it. And its people's choices to read or not. I has JUST read a guys comment on a post that had said, basically, shame on the people who brought up their complications. It hit a hot button and i was miffed.
So that is my point. ALL of us have helped each other by telling our story.
chris00938 Guest
Posted
Ah right! YES! I did wonder if you were telling me that I shouldn't be so positive, or what. I absolutely agree - some will have difficulty and it's so helpful to have support and realise that 'this is normal'!!!!! And even those of us who haven't had difficulty - who knows what the future might bring if we need those knees replaced, for instance. Or have problems with our second knee. It's difficult - when someone is about to have a TKR, you don't want to get them petrified before they start - and I do remember someone on here thinking seriously of cancelling their op after getting some very negative comments of 'this is going to happen to you' sort of thing. What I try to do personally is say 'this is what happened to me, but it varies with everyone', so people can hope for the best but while we're never really prepared for the worst, at least get an inkling that it might not all be a bed of roses. Maybe it was that person who said 'shame on the people,,,' who had thought of cancelling their op after being told, more or less, that they were going to be in hell for months after the op, and thought about cancelling it - I can't remember. If it was them, they may have been angry that they nearly cancelled the op because they'd been given the wrong impression as it turned out for them - just trying to see it from all sides.
But yes - it IS good to see everyone's experience and even more so, be here to support those who are wondering what on earth has hit them when they're in the middle of difficulties. That is SO necessary!!!!!
At the same time this does need to be a balance because it has to be much better for someone to be going into the op with a positive attitude than a negative one, and I think as someone else mentioned, which I agree with, a lot of people who have sailed through it won't be on a group like this. IF they join the group before the op, they will probably stay to let people know how they're getting on, but if they don't join before the op, they probably won't join, because they won't see the need to, whereas lots will join after an op that has proved difficult, so they're looking for help, so I think to some extent, the nature of the beasts is that you get a higher perecentage on the group who have had a more difficult time of it. Does that make sense?
So yes - ALL of us do help by telling our story:-))))) I've noticed recently that we're getting more positive posts after ops too, which is lovely to see! Not to say the 'difficulty' ones are wrong - they also have their place and this group is SO needed by those people!!!!!!