Posted , 6 users are following.
Well I guess sometimes you have to be careful for what you wish.
I'd like to make clear I'm not worried nor sad about the ongoing events maybe a little disappointed I couldn't find the strength to fight before but that irony for you
I took 160 co-codamol a week yesterday in order to end my life things got to much to bare most of you will understand that statement
I was up all Sunday vomiting etc but hey I woke up right bonus! Lol as I said I had the day from hell still wanted out that day and so didn't go to the hospital
Monday I wake up more rose from the flames infact I found strength beyound my wildest dreams I was ready to take the world on if I must I started the ball rolling and it feels awesome knowing I'm being taken seriously my evidence has strength and can not be dismissed I'm taking it by the horns and wrestling it down to the ground I felt unpowered still do too lol
Fastward to Wednesday I start to feel stomach cramps etc not sick just cramping I'm a man right did it it'll go away lol well it's not infact it's got worse over the days and been constant yesterday it became to much to ignore and I thought gosh I best get something to sort this pain out it's not shifting so I go to the Drs explain what I did a week ago etc turns out I have have Done my liver in.
Not really sure if it'll get better or if I'll get any transplant options as yet haven't really spoke about the options if I'm honest
I guess I accept that if I go I go it's a consequence of my actions and what I wanted at the time.
So I'm not sad I don't need or want pitty my message is simple to you all and I hope you take it for what it is
I think now I know the meaning of life my wants are simple it's the small things that count the things hidden behind the motive hidden behind the methods
I wanted to take down the system I wanted to show the injustice ironically I found the strength to fight them all but may still lose the fight funny how that works right?
Now my wants are not so much thinking about what people have done to wrong me now my wants are so much more personal and important now all I want to to survive long enough to see my little girl
That's the meaning of life it doesn't matter how hurt you are what people have done to you you have to let it go to get the smallest but most meaningful things ya know
Ironically it may be a lesson learned to late I hope not but who knows
Maybe that's it maybe when you learn the meaning of life why we are here the lesson that we all need to learn maybe you go then like a mission accomplished kinda thing
Oh I know what your thinking your thinking this guy has given up right? Your so wrong I'll fight until my last breathe ya know but the difference is I don't care anymore what my ex has done it's not important alls that is important to me now is to see my baby
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