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Today was my day off from anxiety disorder!

Posted , 2 users are following.

nattalie36373
nattalie36373

Anxiety has been kicking my ass for the past 2months but 2days I got a day off. I worked up a sweat shooting hoops (I can't play basketball so it was more me chasing after the ball after missing 90% of my jumpshotsbiggrin

But it was a decent workout and even though I felt fatigued, I felt pretty good the rest of the day. I just wanna day I'm GRATEFUL for one normal day.

But my arm pain is still there,just not so bad. Also I had a major depressed episode before the workout.

I'm a lesbian and none of my relationships have worked out; longest was 7mnths. The rest ended 2-3mnths, exactly one mnth ago heartbreak #6 broke things off. She said I was insecure n didn't love myself enough to know my worth. She thinks I need to work on myself alone, we still talk n she did say we can try again for a relationship down the road.

But these days she doesn't talk to me unless I text first, she seem to be having so much fun with her life. How can she say she loves me then just take off n not feel anything? Meanwhile I'm hurting so bad.

Do you think my longterm depression n me being closeted have contributed to my relationship failing? I just need someone to talk tosad

0 likes, 7 replies

7 Replies

  • Guest
    Guest nattalie36373

    Posted

    Listen, you are who you are, if she can't understand your mental issues and how hard it is to live with anxiety, then she isn't for you. there are people out there who you can find love with, you cant give up.

    are you still in the closet?

    • nattalie36373
      nattalie36373 Guest

      Posted

      Yeah I still am.....at 28years oldsad

      I envy people who are out, I want that too. But I'm so scared!! I just moved to the states n I'm currently totally dependent on 2people n that won't change for awhile. These two people always sound homophobic to mesad

      At least things were easier when my gf was in my corner, now I just feel so alone! I've never had a ton of friends, just two back in my home country n now it's like we don't even talk anymoresad

    • nattalie36373
      nattalie36373 Guest

      Posted

      Jamaica aka place where even church folk supports hurting/killing gay people.
    • Guest
      Guest nattalie36373

      Posted

      I'm Carribean as well, so I get it. I think you need to come totally out. You are you, and no one should be judging you for that. I think that might be casuing your anxiety.

       If you need anything, post on here or send me a PM. 

      All the best and good luck!

    • nattalie36373
      nattalie36373 Guest

      Posted

      I've been here since January n it's funny how one reason I came to the states was to live my own truth for once. But so far things aren't going according to plan. Anxiety n depression are kicking my ass bigtime! I just woke up and both my arms (elbow region)are hurting again! I seem to still get weird symtoms even when I don't feel consciously anxuous. Even though I'm ALWAYS tense, my body seem to have forgotten how to relax.

      Anyway I have all this to deal with so my gf dumping me really didn't help. At all!

      I'm wondering when this awful phase of physical&emotional pain will ever endsad

    • Guest
      Guest nattalie36373

      Posted

      Anxiety can take a physical toll on you.

      do you have a therapist?

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