Too depress, I only thought of dying...

Posted , 6 users are following.

I'm 30 years old this year and I had separated with my husband. During childhood I never really had a wonderful childhood life like other kids... When I was small I was torture and abuse by my brother but nobody trust me because my parents only trust my brother. This made me felt unwanted. I grew up independently as my parents. Even I'm the youngest but I never been treated more importantly than my brothers. I grew up in violent parent environment. My parents always fight and smash things even in front of us, the children. I grew up hating alcoholic and ended up married to drinker guy (which i didn't know he was a drinker before married)... Currently i get to know a guy but each day our relationship making me depress... I have been depress since I was child.... And I feel it's getting worse after getting know this guy but I just can't let him go because I feel so much in love with him...But, I can't stand the stress and depression I feel building inside of me... Sometimes it feels like killing me... I nearly committing suicide a couples of time... I need help. But I don't know how. It's killing me... By the way, his family really hate and wanted us tk break up.. But I just can't let thus relationship go... Now i don't feel like living anymore... I'm sick, and I'm too down to carry this heavy emotional depression.... My thoughts are just to die...

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6 Replies

  • Posted

    Are you seeing a doctor you need to call a help or hotline try to get some help they will find you somewhere to go in your area and someone to talk to I have had to do that if you have insurance call your provider and they will help you find someone to talk to also I think that is the best route for you to go being as that your family is the way they are I hope this helps you 😯💚💜💙

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  • Posted

    Hi Suzika:

    Sounmds like a very difficult situation for you.  Please don't harm yourself.  

    Try baby steps.  Just a simple walk to get some ice creanm.  Something simple and uplifting.  

    But you do sound like you are struggling.  But you can make it through this.



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  • Posted

    Dear Suzuka-

    After reading this my heart goes out to you and your family. We all have made mistakes and as we know life can be cruel. You need to know that you've got way more to live for than die for. Do you think you are depressed because your husband drinks?

    You need to go to a beach and run your feet through the sand and water. Get into nature and stop letting someone else's problems cut your previous life short.

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  • Posted

    Hi Suzika - get an appointment to see the doctor. Discuss what you are feeling - be honest. Medications may be prescribed. Also ask for a referral to a psychotherapist or counsellor to talk about your past and present dilemmas. Your family history is likely the bed of your depression. See if you can get your partner into counselling with you. The relationship with him will not change unless he is part of that change. The fact that you are involved with a drinker (alcoholic?) is not unusual for survivors of childhood trauma. we connect with what we know and choose partners on that basis. If your relationship si making you depressed, then you need to get away from it while you assess your future. You must act to help yourself, and suicide is not the answer. You don't know what that might lead to. Make that appointment for the doctor today. Best of luck to you.

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  • Posted

    Hi suzika. My childhood was very similar to yours. Very scary, violent, & vulnerable place to be as a child

    It has left me with a personality disorder and longstandinding depression xx im unwell right now and suffering suicidal thoughts. But with help u can try to tebuild s new life. Its extremely hard but u cañ do it xxx go seek help goodxluck. Xxx

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