Too long and too much

Hello Dondons

You need diversions to your life and if you are missing your children because they have gone back to school do you now not feel you have time for yourself, looking after the home for when the family returns in the evening, making dinner etc, 

Do you go to the gym or are there any other activities you like to follow ?

We work in the garden, housework and follow hobbies. Anything to take your mind of being bored with your life.

BOB

I remember the transition to being a full time mother. Very stressful it was as my whole identity has been for 15 years or so as a working person. Then the kids were the excuse to be at home and be there for them morning afternoon and evening. But this idyllic life on the outside triggered a whole range of emotions for me and probably very dark moments. Until recently i started joining a couple of exercise groups and going for coffee more regularly with one other parent. It might seem a tedious task at first but once you feel good about yourself then the whole world seems to be a better place. And yes plan a holiday as short and small it can be once a month it is something to look fw as a family x

I understand. It is difficult for me too stay on a routine too. And then to be alone at home makes matters worse! 

You don't sound pathetic or immature at all. People don't realise what a massive transition it is for the parent as well. You should use this time to focus on yourself. Having something to look forward to makes such a huge difference. Even if it's something small like cinema or shopping or going for food or watching a box set! My problem is I rarely feel like being around people but at the same time I wish I had plans & something fun to look forward to. Sometimes too much alone time can have a negative impact as all you do is think then overthink then worry about everything & anything when you could be doing something better with your free time. Make a routine of your own that doesn't rely on the kids so you feel you have something just for you x

Change is tough isn't it? I have just had something end too, that was bitter sweet, but even so it sounds like all the stress has really got to you. Take things slowly you need readjustment and slowly. It's not going to be easy but possible.

I will not ignore you. You do not deserve to be ignored. You deserve all the compassionate Attention on this world. 

Just like I do. But anyway. I feel the same. Life feels like a Prison and i am the Person who has to live through it, so i get to experience this Prison. (Of Course you could feel differently,sure and that is perfectly fine too.) There is Nothing wrong with you. There is Nothing wrong with me. Your Feelings, whatever they are are relevant. Because this is your reality. Currently we are experiencing a certain combination of life stuff. Get up, brush teeth, make breakfast, work, get through Problems, get home, clean, try to use the Little time you have before having to go to bed in the best way you think possible. Repeat. But really, can´t we be more creative here? Maybe changing Jobs, no matter how scary it is will help. Maybe moving cities will help. Maybe therapy or medication will help. Maybe Information will help.

So.

How creative can we get?

  

It’s just hard for me, I should be normal and I should be working but my anxiety is so so bad, even the school runs are the scariest things right now. When taking my babies on nice days out through the holidays I stressed and was scared but I had them and sometimes family to be with me, I can’t do anything alone. I had good and bad days through the school holidays and even so it  was the best I’ve been for a long time, I just didn’t want it to end but it has to doesn’t it because the government say so! I’m awaiting a court date because apparently my 2 youngest had too much time off last term. I know after reading what I’ve just wrote it will be easy to believe that I have kept them off a lot because honestly I would like nothing better but I actually didn’t, it was one time they’d been to a family party and didn’t have the heart to wake them early for school the next day. The other days they’re using against me are when any of them were poorly!...anyway I’m ranting but I just feel so angry scared and confused because I’d love my babies to be home with me all the time but I push myself everyday to make sure they’re in school and on time so to then be questioned about it and have a court order is really frustrating! I’ve had weeks to try to get my head around it but I still can’t and don’t understand 

You don't sound pathetic at all dondons. Diversions are a good thing when it comes to depression and having your children home during the summer certainly helped!!

Then all of a sudden the house is quiet and you find yourself alone in the same routine with nothing to look forward to.

Have you considered joining a gym and doing something simple like water aerobics during the day? This was the most relaxing thing for me when I wasn't working..and actually got me out of bed since I made many friends who expected me to be there.

Are you a volunteer sort of person? Do you like dogs? I also volunteered for a local animal rescue and that kept me busy also. There are tons and tons of volunteer opportunities out there for just about anything you might be interested in.

Hobbies are wonderful also, yet I needed something to get me out of the house!!

After reading a bit more of your post, I'm not sure what you're going through otherwise, but I've been in many of the same places where I felt at times that I just couldn't cope anymore.

Hang in there!!

Again, you don't sound pathetic or immature at all!! Everybody needs a place to vent and that's why we're all here!! Have you or are you seeking any help from a counselor/psychiatrist? It's not always the answer for everyone so if you're not..you may find other ways of coping.

Sending hugs, prayers..and luck in finding the cure  that fits you best. We're here if you need us~~

 

Thank you for everyone replies I’m just so scared, I’ve tried everything to not to have to go to court but nothing helped I still have to go. It’s so frustrating and makes me angry because I’d love not to have to do the school runs, I hate it! Not so much taking them but walking home by myself! But I put myself through it for my babies and to now be told I have to go to court because they have too much time off school? I don’t get it? I don’t keep my babies off unless they’re poorly, I put myself through the scary school runs for them. I have my Mum talk on the phone to me most days just so I feel like I’m not on my own and can forget a little about What the people that pass me think. It’s just so frustrating that this has happened. Even if I tried to explain I’d look/sound stupid! So there’s just no point !