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I have a history of anorexia and depression. I recently had the opportunity to persue the career of my dreams and go on a course. I discovered i was pregnant though and left the course...only ot suffer a miscarriage. since then i have had to move home and persue the career my family wants. I feel like i have lost everything. my partner ha been so supportive however as he is in the career of my dreams it makes it hard to speak to him. I feel i have lost everything. my family are rejecting me, i have lost my dream career as i dont know if ill finacially be able to go back, ive lost my baby, my new adult life, all gone. I came off antdepressants when i discovered i was pregnant which hasnt helped. i feel physically ill achy tired. i cant fight ith my mind anymore i feel in a deep pit of thoughts and feeing that are torturing me and tearing me apart. i panic constantly shaking heart palpitations crying feeling sick. its consummed my everything and i dont want to be here anymore. i feel at a crisis point. i want to starve myself again,to die sowly on the outside awell as insde. i want to hurt myself,punish myself for losing everything again. i have nothing to live for. i cant bear the thought of living a life i dont want. i feel disgusting, inadequate, a waste of space, angry and like everyone would be better without me.i just dont know how to carry on. my babys gone, my innocent baby why them and not me?!! i am a horrible person and i dont deserve to be here. lease hep im at a complete loss and dont know what to do.
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