Took him back

Posted , 5 users are following.

Sok I got really depressed when my partner left me. With support of good people and my GP

I started living again and smiling.

I took my partner back 2 weeks ago after he said he misses me and wants his family back.

I feel is not making an effort to repair us, I'm putting all the effort in as if I was the one that left him.

Now I'm bloody depressed again. I know i love him so why do I feel this way?

I'm going crazy

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10 Replies

  • Posted

    From what I hear the obvious problem is him.

    You're getting depressed as he isn't putting in the same effort in as you are!

    He probably said he'd change and be different but has probably reverted to his old self.

    Because of this it has lowered your self worth as you know you deserve better! But you're not sticking up for youself.

    It's natural why you are feeling this way. Especially if this is a long term relationship and it's all you know.. and if family is involved.

    Stick up for you.

    Give him an ultimatum and if he truely wants this he will do everything and anything.. if not then there's your answer.

     

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  • Posted

    Hi sandy

    You know relationships are tough all the time it becomes routine and mundane but they take work from both parties to be successful there are some things you can't do alone

    I don't don't you love him that's not the problem here the problem is do you love yourself enough

    Enough to realise you deserve better than someone that doesn't want to put any effort it that's happy for you to put the work in and reap the benefits

    Your selling your self short Hun and if you continue to do so your going to keep crashing

    Now I'm not at all saying kick him to the kerb or even make a desicion on what to do you'll forever ponder on the idea if that was the right thing to do you've got to know what the right thing to do is

    So here's what you do you sit him down and you talk to him you explain that's as much as you love him and desperate want it to work there are things you can't do alone

    Set dates explain how and what you want and expect from a partner evening out or just help round the house what ever it is you set those rules and expectations you also tell him what he can expect from you in return ( I didn't mean that how it sounds ) you know what effort your making

    If he doesn't make that effort from there on out he's made the desicion not you and you don't have to ever wonder if it would of ever worked out

    Hope this helps you x

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    • Posted

      Hi jus to let you know he left again. Saying his not well and he needs help. I'm jus waiting for my daughter to get up so I can tell her.

      I feel sick and depressed again.

      Not sure I can get through this again

      I feel ill now

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    • Posted

      Yes you can get through it again you can get through it because you have a daughter there

      It's hard sometimes when you love someone and feel it is not returned butnthat person is not good for you

      Your in need of help a supportive person that's going to make you feel special and wanted and needed they want to be with you for no other reason but because your you

      You know what a sociopath is? I'd not look it up Hun if you read it and things start to make sense you need to let him go coz believe me I've been there and this horrid depression is all I have let off the person that I thought loved me I wouldn't wish it on anyone I want you to today write down exactly how your feeling right now I want you to keep it handy and I'm two weeks when it starts to hurt less and he contacts you I want you to read it and think do I want this feeling again do I want it for the rest of my life you have to take strength from this Hun you have to do it for you and for your child this is not healthy it's. It fair either he's got you right where he wants you take the power bk Hun please if you don't do it for yourself do it for your daughter don't put you or her through it anymore I know it's hard and your heart broken but you will be happy I'd rather be single for ever than have someone around me that doesn't want to be there or can't be bother making any effort

      Your a smart lady don't let him take the p*ss anymore Hun take this feeling and make it work for you not against you you can pm me when ever you need x thinking of you

      Are you on any meds at the moment ?

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  • Posted

    Hi Sandy - sorry to read of your situation. Could I suggest that your depression is because you realised nothing has changed. Also, since he has again left, could it be that he has used you as a bus stop while he contemplates where he will go next? Don't go through it again. You were getting back on top and in he comes flush with promise but with no intention to make an effort. Look after yourself and build a future for you and your daughter that does not include him. Be strong if he comes knocking again.

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  • Posted

    Hi Sandy,

    Except the fact i dont have kids, i was in a toxic relation that ended four years ago, after fighting and getting back togheder few times. It was horrible for me, i couldnt image life without him anymore... i felt my world was down... for few.months a.was depressed always waiting for him to come back, then i got mania ,then psichosis and hospitalized...IT IS NOT WORTHING TO SUFFER. After i got better, it took me a year, we have met for a coffee , me and him, and i just realized how life its better without him and that i would never want him back ever.I felt reliefed and free. One that really loves you would not hurt you! If your partner knows your hurt and doesnt care, his feelings are not strong enough, and you will be much better.without him. Maybe now seems impossible, but later you will see how bettet life is with no stress, not always trying to do stuff to make relation work, consuming yourself for nothing. Think at yourself and your.kid, and if he tries again to come back think of the pain he caused to you and at his instability. Accept the fact you will suffer for couple of.months till you get used without him, cry , put out your feelings, and then never go back on that circle. For me now, when i think back i feel so stupid i let myself destroyed emotionally by somebody. I will never let this happend again, if ill ever notice in my present relation that he is not respecting my feelings, i will end it up on one minut.You need to be strong fpr your kid.and for yourself, regain your personality ans your full identity! Remember your life before him, be single for a while, you will realize that u have resources in ourselves to go on.I didnt kept any pictures togheder, i emptied the house of things remembering. me of him, and for the time i was spending.with him ,i started to. meet friends.and.family more, that encouraged. me. This can help! If a.kid its involved might be more.difficult, but if ure decided in your mind to end for good, you will find.the way! best wishes !

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