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Everything seems like a big deal now. The smallest things bother me. I know it’s the peri and anxiety, but I can tell I’m annoying to other people. I feel this way especially at work, like I’m not as good at my job as I used to be. I don’t have the career that my parents hoped I would, or I hoped for. Nothing seems good enough, like somehow I missed out on life. I used to be so hopeful and now it’s so hard to try to do better. It doesn’t help that I work with college students who make me feel old and slow. I can’t seem to get a healthy perspective on my life anymore. Anyone else? I keep thinking I can just push through this, but I don’t know how much longer I can go without getting professional help with my anxiety. It is ruining everything.
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amanda59745 Guest
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Guest amanda59745
Posted
Hi Amanda, thank you for reminding me to laugh. I bought an exercise bike a few months ago and ride daily, which helps me feel better sometimes. I have lost some weight, too. You’re right about the super hero stuff. I was raised to meet everyone else’s expectations first. To my mother, my sister, my dad and I are like extensions of her, and she thinks everything we say or do is somehow a reflection on her, on how she raised me and my sister, that somehow if we say or do something that she wouldn’t that we have embarrassed her. So that has followed me into adulthood and it is extremely difficult to ignore that nagging little voice in my conscience that worries about what she thinks of me. It carries over to my work supervisors. But you’re right. I don’t know if I can go to work tomorrow. It is a very intense environment and I have struggled this weekend very badly. I was awake at 1:30 this morning but did eventually get some sleep. I need to try meditations as you recommend. Thanks again and take care. 🌸
juanita93228 Guest
Posted
I'm very blessed that I have a Supervisor I can talk to. She was the one that suggested seeing a therapist, which I have my first session this Thursday. The agency I work for provides a therapist free of charge and you get 10 visits. Some days I feel like I want to retire, but at the same time I feel like if I could just push through certain things in my life, I would like to work at least another year. Luckily the ladies I work with are late 30's to late 40's(I'm 58). If I had to work with college kids I would probably lose it!! They think they know everything anyway. But we're at strange time our lives. I get it. Some days I don't even want to think about work, let alone do some difficult project that MAKES me think. I talk to God a lot and after skipping three Sundays of church I went yesterday and it was like the Pastor was talking to me. Menopause grabs the mind, because that's where everything starts. You desire something, you want to feel better, you want a new car, you have hopes and dreams, but menopause mind just makes you feel like nothing is possible where before you felt like EVERYTHING was possible. I don't know if you're a praying woman but continue to pray. If you need to see a therapist or get on anti-anxiety meds or antidepressants so be it. I take those along with a good multivitamin, Vitamin D3 and Vitamin C. Hang in there honey! (((((hugs))))
Guest juanita93228
Posted
Hi Juanita, thank you again for your kindness. Yesterday at church, I was serving as an usher and did not go into the sanctuary for the service. I had not eaten breakfast and as I got a cup of coffee, I found some donuts someone had brought and left with the coffee pots. There is also another table nearby and one of our education leaders had left a stack of coloring sheets and baskets of colorful markers. The instructions said to pray while coloring. I sat with my coffee and donuts and prayed while coloring the design and writing in names of people I love and prayed for them. I wrote in the last part of 1 Corinthians 13. God was at the table with me. I could hear the pastor’s sermon on a nearby speaker. I returned to the sanctuary to finish helping there. Several friends spoke with me. I don’t know what I would do without my church family, God, the gift of faith and being part of communities that promote healing and wholeness, like this forum. Grateful to hear from you and glad you shared about your church experience yesterday. That is the only place where I go now where my mind finds clarity of any kind. 💕
juanita93228 Guest
Posted
I honestly believe you cannot survive menopause without God. At least I can't. I'm so happy you had a wonderful church experience too. I love my God.
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