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Trually fed up !!!!!

Posted , 7 users are following.

donna97909
donna97909

I actually feel like wanna smash everything up , I didn't choose this life iam in . I moved away to start a new life I have no friends , I had a slipped disc for 9 months just had surgery 3 weeks back.

Am lonely am bored life crap, get a letter off my employer today to inform me they can no longer pay ssp.

So gave me a form to go job centre , never been job centre in my life I don't even know what to do this is giving me bad aniexty.

I managed so far from my ssp and savings I had but money gone now .

I don't know how am cope with all this that's going on . Being stuck in this house popping pills for pain.

Yes I suffered with depression for years and had some very low moments . .

And am on medication , but to be threw what I have last 9 months has taken its toll .

I just wanna scream my head off , when am I gonna get a break . Struggling all the time really is this what this rubbish is all about .

I don't know what am gonna do about job centre what do u do just turn up and say I need to claim.

I can't drive I can't even get to the.place yet , and this surgery better of worked otherwise I will lose it .

I can't live like this ........

2 likes, 18 replies

18 Replies

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  • mike09523
    mike09523 donna97909

    Posted

    Hi donna,

    Wow, you are very low. First things first. No matter about everything else your number one priority-pain control.

    Otherwise you will literally have a serious breakdown.

    Go to your gp. . and explain,if you cannot say the right words write down your predicament and hand it to your gp .

    You can't reason with the Jobcentre or your creditors in your state of mind. Contact the CAB and they should help you. You have no money and need help, get it.

    Mike.

    • donna97909
      donna97909 mike09523

      Posted

      Hi Mike

      I feel like am gonna have a breakdown , had such a rough time and am trying my best to hold it together Dr's have already upped me anti depressents.

      And yes think u maybe right to go cab ,I just can't sit for long periods of time at the moment. Everyone saying stay postitve donna it all get better

      And am like I am trying

      Thanks for replying Mike

    • jmcg2014
      jmcg2014 donna97909

      Posted

      Being positive really has nothing to do with it, not with back pain, I'd say more be patient and be careful. Absolutely nothing can speed up how long it takes to heal, that's just how it is, all you can do is not aggravated it -which isn't easy, and wait it out. Sad but true

  • jmcg2014
    jmcg2014 donna97909

    Posted

    I had a prolapsed disc in 2014, i was laid up for a year then things got better.  I avoided surgery though, i didnt think it was worth the risk - for me personally anyways.  I found a great physio (some are dreadful), never pushed to the point of agony, never took any pills (they are addictive and dont work that well), and used ice.  An excutiating time, but now im back on my feet and doing fine.  It does pass, you just have to give it the time it needs
    • donna97909
      donna97909 jmcg2014

      Posted

      Thanks jmc, I know I have a long road ahead . I didn't have much option I had to have operation , couldn't do nothing and the last straw was when I collapsed.

      I am now at the point of trying get off gabapentine also I stopped taking morphine horrible drug that .

      Now am taking parcetamol ibrophen and tramadol and trazadone (antidressents)

      Suffering with depression which they upped me pills and being in pain for 9 months has not helped me .

      The meltdowns I had over these months and today was just as bad

    • ann55375
      ann55375 donna97909

      Posted

      I can sympathise.  I ended up with surgery on herniated discs which was successful but the anxiety before and since general anaesthetic is high and now im depressed with it all..dr says it is agitated depression. No wonder. I am not finding the anti dep much help and now have stomach issues. Cant eat anything much till teatime, then sleep fitfully with dreaded dreams, wake every day feeling sick inside.  Nobody seems to be able to deal with this, how do we get out of this spiral, stoping anti deps? Anti anxiety meds? Any helpful info appreciated.
    • donna97909
      donna97909 ann55375

      Posted

      Hi Ann , I had bad time after surgery I ended up being sick and had a panic attack well I felt I couldn't breathe . With the anasetic your depression can get worse . Last time I had anasetic I ended up with phycotic depression which lasted weeks . I couldn't stand anyone talking was annoying me . Having depression and having this slipped disc has took it toll on me . And after 3 weeks since surgery and I still have pain in back me leg . My mind thinking has this worked will pain go . So am crying all the time coz am so scared it hasnt. Am still on anti depressents the Dr put them up more due to me having a slipped disc.

      Question the Dr asked was do you feel suicidal my answer was no but I rather nt be here . I had come off morphine coz it's the worse drug I ever had in my life .

      Am still on pain killers just trying to get off gabaptine. I also not eating properly and my belly bad most morning which irratates my leg more .

      Hope that helps Ann

    • ann55375
      ann55375 donna97909

      Posted

      Great reply Donna, makes me feel its not just me, i think this illness makes you feel so alone.  Didnt expect all this after just a sore back. Hope as the days pass you can feel better, what have they given you and can you tolerate the meds?  Makes it easier if you can.  They always ask that auestion, how would,they feel if they had to put up with all this, honestly i really dont know how we get through.  Keep pushing is all i can say.
    • donna97909
      donna97909 ann55375

      Posted

      Hey Ann

      Am on tramadol paracetamol and ibrophen and trazadone . I hope you feel better soon it is very hard but you are not alone .

      Xx

    • ann55375
      ann55375 donna97909

      Posted

      Well the Trazodone should help you sleep, does it help your depression or anxiety?   Tramadol is a strong drug but is good for pain, i couldnt take it, made me sick. Today i am down, cant get up, anxiety still lingering.  I just dont think my anti depressant has done anything for me but make me sleep. They are talking about adding another one but i am not sure i want to go down that route.
  • mike09523
    mike09523 donna97909

    Posted

    Hi donna,

    I can understand your wanting to come off drugs but don't stretch yourself to soon.

    I am unable to have an operation on my cervical spine as it would mean total fusion of my neck. Therefore, to control the pain I have to stick to my routine, I have tried cutting down but within days I am in terrible pain and discomfort.

    Best wishes,

    Mike.

  • sam18386
    sam18386 donna97909

    Posted

    Hi donna, get out of your house now.  Take your pain killers only and go - anywhere.  I have just had some awful personal news, which is devastating.  Look after you, bugger any one else and find a cafe, park or somewhere to walk or sit.  Walking is free, a park is good outside is best.  Take a book if you want, get some chocolate and just lock the door, the nights are long now so go out.  Oh and don't forget your coat.  IF you have a friend nearby ask to see them and enjoy it.  You need to escape.

    • donna97909
      donna97909 sam18386

      Posted

      Hi Sam , sorry you had bad news I hope your OK .

      I did go for a walk I needed to get out for little bit am knackered now .

      Take care and I hope all OK

  • mike09523
    mike09523 donna97909

    Posted

    Hi,

    Isn't it strange how some meds suit most but some are made worse.

    I was on tramadol but it didn't touch my spinal cord pain.Then the gp added naproxen and then withdrew it. Then eventually my problems were solved as follows:

    Naproxen gabapentin amatriptaline morphine patch fluorine.

    Must admit I battle through fatigue every single hour of the day, my alternative terrible constant pain.

    Mike.

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