Trying to be rationale......😢

Posted , 15 users are following.

Hi,

I am 48 years of age and I’ve suffered from anxiety for the last 8 of those years. I take medication which does help but over the last few months it’s rocketed!

About 4 months ago I started having spotting from the time I ovulate until my period started... this lasted 2 months then stopped.  My GP did a Pap test, did all my bloods and had an US done... all came back fine.  However I’m still beyond stressed.

I visited him last week and he did my bloods again and as I was so stressed and said he would refer my to a gyno... and if I wanted we could get a repeat US at day 3-5 of my cycle as this will be more accurate at assessing the endometrium.  Also the gyno he wants me to see isn’t available until mid January and that’s totally freaking me out too,  however he sent me a text today saying   ‘I think your bleeding is hormonal so the review with Dr Smirnova is not needed urgently from my perspective.  If you are feeling that you are freaking out it is better that you come in to discuss this with me so I can reassure you that you are safe.’

In my more rational moments I think that I’m not even spotting any more and I have had 3 US in the last 3 years and around 4 Pap test, all were fine... however at the moment my rational moments are few and far between... but surely if there was spotting something isn’t right??

I’m trying not to have another US as I’m trying to take control of my irrational thoughts but it’s so hard. 

Is anyone else feeling this way too...?

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  • Posted

    Hi, I am also 48 and suffering a lot from anxiety. I only feel safe/happy when I am on my own and at home with my family. I feel extremely uncomfortable talking to others. When.I go to my daughter's school (she is 8) I tried to avoid other mums. I feel so freaked out waiting outside the classroom with them. As for the spotting. Yes I do have some spotting too. I have had mirena coil for about 2 years now. So I am not sure if that's why I stopped proper periods or if it is due to.menapause. I tend to have spotting after intercourse. I am also not sure if that's normal. So you are not alone. Anxiety is awful. Let's hope it goes away soon. Good luck!

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  • Posted

    Hi Alice,

    I'm sorry you're feeling so upset and anxious right now.  What is it you're anxious about? That something is seriously wrong? Or are you having overwhelming "anxiety symptoms" that are hard to cope with?

    I certainly understand anxiety-- I've been working with a therapist to overcome my "anxious nature" so I can offer a couple of coping skills she's taught me -- or, lots of sympathy and understanding if that helps too. Sending you positive thoughts.

     

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    • Posted

      When I try to type it out,  it all seems very simplistic and basic. But if you're in an anxious state, I think keeping it simple works better.

      First, is to be kind to yourself. Treat yourself with love, kindness, nurturing, compassion.  I have struggled with this because it's not what I grew up with. I used to be so critical and hard on myself, and get very angry and frustrated with "me" when I felt me/my body weren't behaving. But now I talk to me like I would my best friend, or even my dog. "You'll be ok. I'm here for you. We'll get through this."  I'll even pat myself on the back or hold my own hand. I still have my moments, but I can calm down much quicker.

      Another thing I practice every day is "ocean breathing". If anyone does yoga, you've probably heard of “ujjayi” breathing, which means to conquer.  You can find a lot of how-to videos online. When I feel anxiety symptoms hitting me, I calm down in about 3 breathes, but I practice with about 12 breaths twice a day because it has a cumulative effect. This has been enormously helpful for me because it gives me a sense of "doing something". Anxious? I can fix it. I have control.

      Respond rather than react.  Separate yourself from your symptoms and be very matter-of-fact. No judgment, no emotion.  "Hm... my heart is racing. Interesting.  Oh I feel jittery and weird. Yep, it's the hormones again." Can very difficult when you're in the throws of anxiety, but with practice, you can just be very accepting of how you're feeling. Be ok with it. You feel anxious. And? So you do. Okay, so you do. You feel what you feel. 

      Hmm..... so, 2 years of therapy and this is all I got?? LOL  Well, it seems very simple, but for me, it was a challenge- to be nice to myself, to take a step back and accept what I'm feeling, to give myself a sense of control with a breathing technique.

      Two nights ago I was bleeding so bad and so hard, passive enormous clots, I had my hand on the phone to call an ambulance, worried ..er, um.. getting panicked, I was going into hypovolemic shock.  I used all three techniques to calm down, so I could logically decide what I should do.

      Hope this helps.

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    • Posted

      Hi,

      Anything related to my health sends my anxiety through the roof and totally consumes me.  I found a small lump on the the vulva ( lip of vagina) a few days ago... that sent my into a high state of anxiety for hours, in my rationale moments I know that it’s just probably a cyst ( and I’m sure I’ve had them before) but the way I am, I’ve now convinced it’s a rare form of cancer!

      My doctor ( who is truly wonderful) as I mentioned in my first post, suggested another US to ease my mind, it’s actually done the opposite and made me so stressed thinking is he lying to me and thinks I’m seriously ill.... I know I sound crazy!!

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    • Posted

      I had this too.  Of course I freaked out and was crying at the doctor office etc.  it was a clogged gland.  Went away with warm compresses.  Hopefully it doesn't come back.  I'm too afraid to look.  And I don't know if anyone else does this, but I avoid looking at myself in the mirror as much as possible now.  Just in case I might see something!

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    • Posted

      Totally.... I have went from checking my body almost daily, to not even wanting to look at myself naked on the off chance I spot  a bump or lump...there is no in between with me, it’s one extreme to the other!
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  • Posted

    Yes something is going on with me too.   Yesterday, was Thanksgiving and I stayed home-- didn't want to deal with 20 people, etc....  When kids have sporting events-- I feel 'strange' being there-- like I"m not myself..  I just want the games to be over and done with so we can go home.  I don't even care to shop like I did before which is fine because I have enough stuff..  But why do I feel like I don't belong??  Who knows..  I'm 48 but ready to be 75 so I can hibernate inside.   About the only thing I feel good about is that I swim or take an exercise class and I TRY to eat more veggies.

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    • Posted

      I know how you feel. This year I was anxious about Thanksgiving I had to take half a Valium to deal. Lately, I have days where I'm fine and others where I'm sure I'm dying from a dread disease! I just got out of a 8 year relationship and I'm a bit lonely, but l know I did the right thing by leaving him. Anyway, I'm having a weird feeling in my right go on. My mammogram is due in Jan. I just feel like my body and my mind are just going wonky. Yesterday I looked in the mirror and I feel like the whites of my eyes aren't as white. I have a ton of chores today, but I'm still in bed. Sorry to go on so, but I just feel so crappy today.

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    • Posted

      I so feel for you as I know exactly how you feel.  There are days that I go from thinking I have ovarian cancer to a brain tumour.... it’s bloody awful, it does at time totally consume me.

      I think I’m at my lowest when I’m on my own or not busy, it gives me way to much time to think ....

      Stay strong, stay positive ( easy said I know), but you aren’t alone, it’s a horrible stage we are going through but you will come out the other end.

      Big love xxxxx

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    • Posted

      Thank you alice1209. I meant to say weird feeling in my right boob. I've spent the day in bed praying and crying off and on. I've got to get it together, the chores I put off today must be done tomorrow since I must be back at work Monday. This is the worst I've been in a while. The health anxiety is the worst! Ugh! God sent me to this forum. I pray tomorrow will be better. (((((hugs))))))) You and all the ladies have helped me so much. This just one of those days.

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    • Posted

      My boobs are always super tender these days, as though my period is always about to start, its most probably muscular, but being they way we are we immediately go to some rotten disease!

      We will all get there honey! xxx

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    • Posted

      I know right? I just want to not go to the worst scenario when anything happens. I have a good life and I want to enjoy it! I know this will pass, but when you're in the throes of it you feel like you're going crazy, dying, or both! You feel like you're never going to be you again. I was fine until Thanksgiving, I kept wondering will we all be together next year? Why think like that? Ugh. The boob thing might be muscular, I carry a very heavy purse(women feel they must be prepared)on my right shoulder and have for years. It feels so good to have you and the other ladies to talk to! Much love to you!💓💓💓💓

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