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It's been a year and a half since my wife died of a brain tumor. I feel like I'm carrying around so much guilt. I have never really experienced depression before, I have lost loved ones in the passed, but nothing comes close to this. I truly loved my wife. I honored her, daily. I never left a conversation without telling her" I love you" and yet I can't shake this guilt. Hospice failed to help in her last moments and so I had to choose a different system called comfort care. I was quickly informed that I was responsible for her stopping of food, her stopping of fluids and finally turning off her air. I had to watch as my love gasp for air as her body filled with fluids and finally stop. I can't help but feel guilty. I know I had to do the right thing, but I struggle with this daily. I miss her. I'm a strong man I have worked my whole life, but weakens me and living is hard. I don't like this living part now. I've been a pastor for 20 years, and I'm tired. I would love some advice, if any
Thank you for your time.
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