Trying to stop my thoughts from becoming actions

Posted , 6 users are following.

Im probably stupid for posting this & sure everyone has their own probs to deal with.. Im Bipolar 1.. changing from a race horse period to an all time low.. I cant even explain myself openly, so depressed.

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27 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi Deb - you are not stupid for posting this. Are you recieving any treatment for bipolar?
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  • Posted

    OUT of here!  Im soooo damn well done!
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  • Posted

    Try writing your thoughts in a journal. Just remember you are special and that you have a loving family and people that care for you. Stay strong and don't beat yourself up. Hope you feel better soon.

    Al

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    • Posted

      Have you ever taken enough pills before?, do you know what to expect?, I did about three weeks ago, washed down with vodka, then followed the most horrible feeling imaginable, I guess it wouldnt have worked anyway as you are vomiting it all up before you can take enough, thrashing your legs around to try and distract yourself from the terrible feelings inside of you before going into siezures as you drift in and out of conciousness.

      Best to put the pills away and go for a walk in the woods or watch some you-tube videos of cute animals.

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    • Posted

      Yes really, maybe if you got sleeping pills from your doctor not the weak ones in the shops it would be like that. It was so excrutiatingly unbareable that I had to call the ambulance, when they came I was like, "make it stop, please make it stop", all thoughts of escaping this unbareable life went from my head. When I told my GP he said how hard it is to commit suicide. There is a scale somewhere that discribes the level of pain each suicide method results in. Though I am a bit sorry to be here, I think now suicide is a disgusting thing and that I had not attempted it, it harns your self-esteem that was already pretty low.

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    • Posted

      The other thing to watch out for, if you dont take enough, or you get found and treated before you die, then you are left with permanent things wrong such as liver damage, then your life is even more *ucked up.
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    • Posted

      Not so easy pete.. so you have me thinking.. couldnt bare life to be more *ucked that it already is.. I have enough of everything but its what u said before that made me think.. thats not the way I want to go
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    • Posted

      Are you able to imagine you died figuaratively, and so completely leave the life you are not enjoying at present, and start a new life doing something completly differant?, like just getting on a plane to Africa and helping orphaned elephants or something?
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  • Posted

    Hi deb

    I hope you are well.

    You are right for asking for advice on this forum and I can assure you are not alone. I am going through a very dark period myself and the I'm beginning to realise talking about it with others helps a great deal.

    Just to ask, with regards to your condition are you receiving good treatment and speaking regularly with your doctor?

    Something I suggest is when you being to feel cloudy, the best thing to do is to acknowledge this feeling and realise that you are more than strong enough to cope through various mechanisms that you can use to lighten the load. A few of my techniques are as follows:

    . breathing exercises in a steady way giving time for you to re evaluate any inner emotions and feelings.

    . Ensuring you are taking any medications as prescribed without any mos timings of dosages.

    . regular talking therapy with your doctor/therapist.

    . Keeping active and doing things you enjoy everyday, whether outside or indoors.

    . Write down any thoughts or feelings that you experience in a list and challenge them through your own perceptions.

    Hope this helps and hope to hear soon.

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    • Posted

      Thanks adame76.. Im listening to everyone & trying hard to take good advice in.. Im seeing a psych but didnt make it to last visit thinking I was going so well.. Now Im rock bottom, but I am taking in what everyone is saying.

       

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  • Posted

    How are you Deb?, do tell us how you are please.
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    • Posted

      Hi peter.. Im hearing you in all you have said including everyone else.. Im sure Ive worked a track from all the pacing.. cant sit still & trying soooooo hard to stop the thoughts.. Its hard to switch off.. Keeping away the 'Google" for overdosing.. I know I must seem like a total loser just writing this & dont want to burden anyone.. Cant say Im feeling sorry for myself because I cant find 1 reason why I should feel  sorry aat all.. Im really absorbing everyone's output tho pete

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    • Posted

      Hi deb im not diagnosed as bipolar but have a personality disorder & have been suicidal a week now xxx im lost for words just want u to know yr not alone sweetie im feeling the crappest ive ever ever felt xxx

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    • Posted

      Hi amanda.. Im sorry that you are going throughs same thing.. its a curse isnt it.. Im detered away from overdosing though thats for sure..  Guess you & I are in this dark hole together.. Im not so alone on this one.. Its a tuff ride hun to keep our thoughts above water & pit xxx

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    • Posted

      No ur far from alone... i have a 13 yr okd daughter so its like torture zzz i have cried all day put on the mask for ten past 3. But the urge now is beyond the scale xxx i feel for u xxxxx
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    • Posted

      WOW.. I do feel for you now more than myself having a 13 year old to take care of.. that would be intense pressure.. Its me who feels for you hun.. I dont have anyone to hide from xxx
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    • Posted

      I know how you sense the feeling of being trapped & in question lies the meds of good & evil.. are they working? are we taking enough? how long do new meds kick in? are they the right ones for us?  Its tough eh amanda.. 14 years on meds are a long time, no wonder its rugged on you hun..  We lose focus on life itself with an uphill battle.. OMG! 

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    • Posted

      Thank goodness.. keys in hand, heading to psych now... Hate the thought of going there but its the only way to keep me alive.. Keep u posted.. hope u feel better soon hun xxx
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