unsympathetic pal

Posted , 8 users are following.

Hi Ladies

I have a slight worry one of my good girlie friends just does not seem to get how major this op can be and how slow recovery is. I had a rectocele prolapse repair 2 weeks ago. Now dont get me wrong all my friends have been great for the last couple of weeks but today on a what was meant to be a very short outing on returning home after 2 hours cuppa at another friends a fly by shop (i stayed in car) and home and I was then thought I would be able to carry the cat litter (approx 10l bag) into the house. I refused of course but was left feeling that maybe i was lazy and even just those 2 hours left me with a painful butt ache drag (rocks in them) and bad shakes.:-(

How best do you think recovery should be explained to the outside world of genitourinary prolapse?

 

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  • Posted

    Show her this forum and all the questions and responses. If that doesn't work then she isn't a true friend.
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  • Posted

    Hello Ladies

            The me I hear about this operation and the painful recovery as well as theother negatives that hear, the more I would never consider an operation, until I have tried all the alternatives available. Now, the latest thing I heard is that one women on the internet, buys super tampons and uses them  to hold up her prolapse and she said it works similar to the way a pessary holds it up but she can take the tampon out much easier. She puts coconut oil on the tampon to relieve any dryness and she said that is soothing as well. Any one else heard of this to try. Sounds reasonable to me if it holds the prolapse up further towards the pelvic floor. I think your friends witchesmole, need to be a lot more understanding and just sent them to this web site and they will have an entire view of what these ladies like yourself are going through.

                                              Lynn

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    • Posted

      Hi Lynn

      yes I can understand how this might make you wary but I must say that, having had my feet up for four weeks, I'm really

      starting to feel it's working very very well. Don't be put off, you probably can't stave off the inevitable with tampons for ever

      and unless you've got small children you must carry, the younger you are the easier you heal.

      Kindest wishes

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    • Posted

      Hi Patsy

           I am not using tampons, I read that on the internet. I will never have surgery as I am 64 and have had a prolapse bladder for over 10 years I wear a support for it and have no pain, never have I can feel the ball as you may call it hanging down through the vaginal area, but thats it. I am encouraging others like me who have no pain, to avoid this operation if they can. Why would anyone put themselves through this unless they absolutely have no other choice and the pain it too much. Again, everyone is different regarding a prolapse bladder. Do your homework first and weigh the pros and cons for each individual case. So many ladies that did not have pain and had the surgery are now in awful pain that I read on the internet. Some of the surguries failed, some were okay for a year or two etc etc. I pray for all of them to get well.

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    • Posted

      I'm 61 and had a repair 4 years ago and it's the best thing I did. Yes it was painful, but isn't most surgery? But I did as I was told, rested and didn't lift and after 4 months I knew I'd done the right thing. I'm a nurse and have seen women's lives transformed after surgery. Women are sexually active for much longer these days and a prolapse causes many women embarrassment. Obviously surgery is a personal choice but to tell women to avoid this operation is wrong. There are more success stories than not. Women should talk to their GP and the gynaecologist/urogynaecologist about the pros and cons. Every women is different.
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    • Posted

      ...and I'm firmly with Matron on this. I'm 55 and have a healthy

      sexual relationship with my husband (he's 40) which is why I've had the op.

      The pain of surgery is in fact shortlived and although it may

      seem that women here are moaning, they are in fact just letting

      off steam and supporting each other. It's not my place to insist

      that others either have or don't have the surgery, but I do know

      that I'm healing nicely, due to the fact that I'm resting.

      The main reason we've not been healing (if youve followed a

      cross section of these posts as most of us here have done) from my understanding is because we're busy women and we've

      struggled to stay put.

      We on the whole did our homework and asked our consultants.

      These are not scare stories, these are women havinge virtual

      coffee and cake and a natter, a laugh and loads of

      encouragement.

      Thousands of women have this surgery every year. Some fail,

      often because they don't/can't rest for long enough.

      I'm delighted with my choice! I had one. I took it!

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    • Posted

      Has anyone heard the saying if it is not broken don't try to fix it. What I mean by that is, there are women like me who still enjoy sex because our prolapse goes right back to where it belongs when we lay down. We don't have any pain, we can go to the bathroom, we only have the reminder of this prolapse when it starts to protrude out of the vagina area. For those women, who are like me, they are the ones that need to think twice and decide if this surgery is going to help or not help them. Please don't get me wrong, those who are in pain, etc, and have no choice have to take the gamble if they feel they need to go through it. Every operation is a gamble no matter what operation we are talking about. No one is guaranteed to come out of this feeling fine and the operation lasting forever. No doctor in his or her right mind can give you a solid guarantee that everything will be perfect for any operation they are conducting. So, again, if you are like me and can do everything, including sex, go to all the web sites and check it out so that you are well educated and ready for the pros and cons. That goes without saying for anything you choose to do in life. I am glad there are those that came through this feeling 100% better but I also feel sorry for those who didn't come out of it so well and are still trying to deal with a secondary prolapse.

                           Blessings to all of you

                           Lynn

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    • Posted

      Like I said every woman is different and it's something that has to be discussed with your consultant. If mine reduced when I laid flat on my back that would have been different perhaps. But remember there's not only the lump to consider but all the other symptoms like recurrent urine infections, vaginal infections etc
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    • Posted

      I think the thing I'm struggling with is your inference that those

      who have chosen this course of action are not well educated

      or informed. That they haven't done their research because they chose this option?

      If mine was protruding then I would most definitely have it fixed. Gravity isn't sympathetic.

      I'm a fan of complementary therapies and use all manner or

      alternatives but in this case I made a choice, am happy with that and I'm not naive in knowing that there are no guarantees in

      anything in the world.

      Promoting that women don't have surgery because it hurts afterwards?....It's surgery!

      Great that you can do everything btw - very positive!

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    • Posted

      Unfortunately, Patsy, not all women do educate themselves regarding a prolapse bladder. They simply do what there doctor suggests to them would be the best course of action. A lot of people do not question the doctors suggestions, they just go with what the doctors thinks would be in the patients best interest. I didn't try to promote not to have the surgery because it hurts afterwards. I informed them to go to other web sites as well and read about the pros and cons and the statistics regarding the success if each of these types of surgery, uterus prolape, cystocele, rectocele etc. Also the reality of what can happen to cause a secondary prolapse etc etc. There is great pelvic floor therapists who can improve a prolapse by teaching women how to do these exercises properly. There is lots of proof out there that these exercises work in many cases, not all, depending on the nature and severity of the prolapse.

      My prolapse use to start protruding out of the vagina area if I had been on my feet a lot because gravity pulls it down of course. But that is no longer an issue and it can no longer protrude because I wear my prolapse support so there is nothing hanging out, all is kept in where it belongs. 

      I want to share my positive experience without an operation, the same way you want to share your success with the results of your choice of having an operation. Thats all. Nice to have positive feed back and lots of choices isn't it? 

                                         Blessings to all 

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    • Posted

      I completely agree.  This surgery is one of the best things I have ever done for myself.  I am only 6 weeks post op and in spite of the pain, in spite of the worries and fears and bleeding and worrisome discharge and hopspital stay and prickly abdominal aches and the slow slow recovery I have absolutely no regrets. Women shouldn't have to live with their insides falling out and definitely shouldn't have to go through what I and many others had to just to have a bowel movement.  I am still not back to "normal" but I am a happy happy happy with my decision and the results.  (I'll go you one further...even if the aches and pains I have now remained forever I would STILL be better off and happier than I was with the prolapse!)
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    • Posted

      I very much agree, we are just letting off steam and supporting each other, and it is much like sitting down for coffee with a girlfriend who has been through the same thing.  Ask a year from now and most of us will sound like PinkLady or Matron, no longer voicing our worries and pains but instead supporting and encouraging others.  I also am delighted with my choice!
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  • Posted

    One word.  Brutal.  It's like anything, until one has been through things, one simply cannot get it.  Invite her to check out this group for the real story!  And best luck in your recovery...doing too much too soon = disaster.
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  • Posted

    Hi Matron and Barb89646

    yes I think you are right and I will tell her. I think she means well but thinks

    it is not as bad as it actually is or as slow a recovery .. is still worth the surgery though :-) my BM have never been better!

    lynn53651 thank you and I will be showing her the site 

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