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Well, things have been looking up for me. Four months ago, I could barely get out of bed because I was so anxious and depressed. Constantly worrying about dying, having uncontrollable thoughts entering my mind and shutting myself completely off from the outside world. The month of August I had 16 panic attacks. They were awful. I've been taking .25 of clonazepam in the mornings along with my 20mg of celexa and I feel like it's working very well for me. The panic attacks have subsided for the most part. I might get one every once in a while now, but I usually know before it hits. An hour or 2 before, I tend to get really hyper and "nest" as my husband calls it. I clean everything.
My husband brought this to my attention. When I get overwhelmed or have a lot on my mind, I tend to shut myself in a room. Back in June and July, I would go to work, come home, lay in bed and binge on greys anatomy until it was time to go to bed. I've been much more productive. I'm cooking dinner again, I'm starting school in February to get out of the job that raises my anxiety, I'm working another part time job to make money for Christmas. However, this morning, my husband got pretty irritated at me. For the past 2 weeks, when I get home, I'm walking in the door and going directly to the game room to play on the computer. Then I'll stay on the computer until bedtime. I hardly make any small talk with my husband, I don't join him for tv time on the couch or anything.
I thought I was doing better. But he feels like I'm having a set back. I just have so much on my mind with Christmas, school, talking to my boss in May after I finish the dental assisting school and quitting my job, I can't turn these thoughts off. Someone give me some inspiration because like I said, it's been over 2 months since I have posted and I wanted to give everyone an update on me.
Things are getting better, definitely.
But I still feel like secluding myself. I don't know why.
Why do we do this when we get overwhelmed or anxious? Someone please give me some insight on this. I don't know how to change my routine. Blah. Sorry I'm rambling! Love you all!
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