Posted , 5 users are following.
Hello everybody.
I am having a horrendous morning. In fact in the last 11 week I've only had tiny glimpses of the girl I used to be,nothing long lasting that has given me hope that things will get better.
I was on Citalopram for 8 weeks and they made my already extreme anxiety even worse. The fear I was experiencing also brought on depression. My medication has been changed and Ive been on Mirtazapine for 20days and although my anxiety has lessened,I am not seeing the light at the end of the tunnel,so to speak. I feel so lost and tired and very unhappy today. I'm scared that this is it now,me for life.
I don't have one ounce of positivity. I can normally find some strategy or words to get me through the day but today there is nothing.
1 like, 19 replies
richard89308 gillian20097
Posted
Richard
gillian20097
Posted
Thankyou for replying to me.
I know it's early days with the new tablets.
I feel like I've been on a never ending journey mentally with little relief xx
laura52683 gillian20097
Posted
Be positive, your just having a bad day. I had 4 days last week as everyone knows. There is light, sometimes it's just blinded from the dark cloud hanging over us.
Being on this site has helped so much, I feel like I want to meet you all.
I too just feel like sleeping but my mind won't let me lately, but all though it's raining I might take my dog for a walk or do housework. I'm just keeping myself busy all the time not letting my mind think about things.
I'm always here, have a phone but don't go off just emails.
Xxx
gillian20097 laura52683
Posted
I can normally talk myself through it and push positive thoughts. Today is one of the worst I've had.
You are right. You just want to sleep through it all and wake up when it's all better but you can't sleep even though you are exhausted.
Im at the hospital tomorrow so with a bit of luck,something they say there will penetrate and make me feel better xx
laura52683 gillian20097
Posted
You want a lazy day but it makes you worst don't it.
Hope it goes ok remember chin up
Xxx
gillian20097 laura52683
Posted
I just want one day..just one of the old me..just so I know it's possible,it's working xx
laura52683 gillian20097
Posted
I thought the same the old me, but I don't think the old me counts anymore, just been looking at old pictures, and them memories with the whole family mean nothing to me now. Feel as if I need rehab or a group therapy session. Just got so much anger but towards myself more. Was dreading today being on my own, partners at work and I've been going to my mums everyday since Thursday.
But this sites helped me today I don't feel alone and I'm talking about things which would have probably set me off crying by now.
Xx
gillian20097 laura52683
Posted
nick77372 gillian20097
Posted
This all time so we get tired even though we don't do anything good luck UST be a med or something that take or help rid this nightmare so your on right path that your seeking getting wanting help nothing could be more positive good luck
gillian20097 nick77372
Posted
I know I am having a moany,horrible day but like Laura said,,it's just a bad day...somewhere deep in me I know that light is flickering,determined not to go out.
I think I've said before that I've been here a few times and got myself through and lived a happy life...It is possible...I'm just struggling to see it right now.
I know you are struggling too but we have to hang in there right and give ourselves the best chance. I'm hoping this med is the answer to my prayers and that I won't have to try another but if that so happens to be the case,then I will because I want my life back as I know you do xx
nick77372 gillian20097
Posted
laura52683 gillian20097
Posted
I'm not even on anti depressants I got them but they just sitting there. I get really bad side effects, just sickness then I won't eat, then i start loosing weight.
Xx
gillian20097 laura52683
Posted
I wish I had started on the Citalopram. It was just a unfortunate incident in my life and I jumped right on them thinking I was nipping a breakdown in the bud. And it sent me haywire,a complete mess.
So now I'm on the mirtazapine and promazine to get some order back in my life..repair the damage that Citalopram did and help me cope with the withdrawal from it.
If I think about it,,I'm calmer than I was but the longer it goes on without major signals that you are going to be ok,the more hopeless it seems that you will ever recover.
They put me on Mirt to help me sleep and increase my appetite but the appetite thing I'm not swing signs of yet.
xxx
gillian20097
Posted
laura52683 gillian20097
Posted
Docs said if I'm not on antidepressants than im coping but how can you cope if your up and down all the time. Sometimes sucidal that's how bad it gets.
My saying to myself was im hanging on by a thread. Trying so hard for positive things in my life. And joey my 11 month dog has been a great help, james got me him when I was out of work and the worst I had been.
Xx
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