Very tired,sad and scared :(

Posted , 5 users are following.

Hello everybody.

I am having a horrendous morning. In fact in the last 11 week I've only had tiny glimpses of the girl I used to be,nothing long lasting that has given me hope that things will get better.

I was on Citalopram for 8 weeks and they made my already extreme anxiety even worse. The fear I was experiencing also brought on depression. My medication has been changed and Ive been on Mirtazapine for 20days and although my anxiety has lessened,I am not seeing the light at the end of the tunnel,so to speak. I feel so lost and tired and very unhappy today. I'm scared that this is it now,me for life.

I don't have one ounce of positivity. I can normally find some strategy or words to get me through the day but today there is nothing.

 

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  • Posted

    hang in there gillian it does get better in time.  Let the pills do the work and you will slowly be yourself in time.

    Richard

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  • Posted

    I'm trying Richard.

    Thankyou for replying to me.

    I know it's early days with the new tablets.

    I feel like I've been on a never ending journey mentally with little relief xx

     

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  • Posted

    Hi Gillian

    Be positive, your just having a bad day. I had 4 days last week as everyone knows. There is light, sometimes it's just blinded from the dark cloud hanging over us. 

    Being on this site has helped so much, I feel like I want to meet you all. 

    I too just feel like sleeping but my mind won't let me lately, but all though it's raining I might take my dog for a walk or do housework. I'm just keeping myself busy all the time not letting my mind think about things. 

    I'm always here, have a phone but don't go off just emails. 

    Xxx

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    • Posted

      Thank you Laura.

      I can normally talk myself through it and push positive thoughts. Today is one of the worst I've had.

      You are right. You just want to sleep through it all and wake up when it's all better but you can't sleep even though you are exhausted.

      Im at the hospital tomorrow so with a bit of luck,something they say there will penetrate and make me feel better xx

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    • Posted

      You really can't win. You are either running round like a blue a**ed fly trying to push through it and feeling like rubbish because you are overdoing it or you have no motivation at all,try to relax and work through it and end up feeling like rubbish.

      I just want one day..just one of the old me..just so I know it's possible,it's working xx

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    • Posted

      I feel the exact same, the other day me and my partner tackled housework and afterwards I felt Alday I was having anxiety attacks because I overdone it. You can't win but if you have the right people round you, you have a good day.

      I thought the same the old me, but I don't think the old me counts anymore, just been looking at old pictures, and them memories with the whole family mean nothing to me now. Feel as if I need rehab or a group therapy session. Just got so much anger but towards myself more. Was dreading today being on my own, partners at work and I've been going to my mums everyday since Thursday. 

      But this sites helped me today I don't feel alone and I'm talking about things which would have probably set me off crying by now. 

      Xx

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    • Posted

      Isn't that bizarre. I'm exactly the same. All them things I used to adore,all them memories feel like they happened to somebody else. I try to put myself in the moment with my family but it doesn't feel as if I'm in the same room or on the same page which hurts me even more. I want to feel them, laugh with them and be a part of them. The world is going on and I'm stuck xx
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  • Posted

    Its so hard just have to see if these meds work I'm been a year now like that was gonna ask about citalprolam same old story with meds shame it didn't work least you trying a new. Med be possative and that your trying I sound negative hard write this just wasting days no energy pysicly or mentally that's the problem we fight

    This all time so we get tired even though we don't do anything good luck UST be a med or something that take or help rid this nightmare so your on right path that your seeking getting wanting help nothing could be more positive good luck

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    • Posted

      Nick.

      I know I am having a moany,horrible day but like Laura said,,it's just a bad day...somewhere deep in me I know that light is flickering,determined not to go out.

      I think I've said before that I've been here a few times and got myself through and lived a happy life...It is possible...I'm just struggling to see it right now.

      I know you are struggling too but we have to hang in there right and give ourselves the best chance. I'm hoping this med is the answer to my prayers and that I won't have to try another but if that so happens to be the case,then I will because I want my life back as I know you do xx

       

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    • Posted

      Your not moaning ur fighting a battle and need to discuss it also hope I can desire on a med but don't want be drowsy or more tired need a kick up the but energy or a focus on not being down negative sick every morning best luck to all who least post there opinion
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  • Posted

    Family was everything to me, switch shifts around if I knew we were having a family day out. But my brother, sister and their partners and of course my mum have been like best friends lately, I could have gone off the rails and I don't understand why I havent after everything, but it's caught up on me now and I'm paying the price. 

    I'm not even on anti depressants I got them but they just sitting there. I get really bad side effects, just sickness then I won't eat, then i start loosing weight. 

    Xx

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    • Posted

      Oh gosh that's awful.

      I wish I had started on the Citalopram. It was just a unfortunate incident in my life and I jumped right on them thinking I was nipping a breakdown in the bud. And it sent me haywire,a complete mess.

      So now I'm on the mirtazapine and promazine to get some order back in my life..repair the damage that Citalopram did and help me cope with the withdrawal from it.

      If I think about it,,I'm calmer than I was but the longer it goes on without major signals that you are going to be ok,the more hopeless it seems that you will ever recover.

      They put me on Mirt to help me sleep and increase my appetite but the appetite thing I'm not swing signs of yet.

      xxx

       

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    • Posted

      Oh really, yeah citalopram hasn't done much to me really, only on 10mg and no change to how I feel just side effects. I was on one before 20mg and it made me so drowsy I just slept afterwards. Mirtazine is suppose to be a good one I've heard. 

      Docs said if I'm not on antidepressants than im coping but how can you cope if your up and down all the time. Sometimes sucidal that's how bad it gets. 

      My saying to myself was im hanging on by a thread. Trying so hard for positive things in my life. And joey my 11 month dog has been a great help, james got me him when I was out of work and the worst I had been. 

      Xx

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